Friday, January 30, 2009

Rock In a Hard Place

Today I don't feel like telling you about who's headlining Coachella..or who's been added to the Grammy Performance line-up. I can link you to 500000000 websites who can give you that scintillating info if you want it.

Today I'm not going to post some obscure video from you tube to cocoon myself in the magnificent safety of reminiscing, while trying to impress 21 readers, most have which stumbled on this site and don't even speak the language.

Today, I'm not going to hype some band who nobody cares about in a half- hearted attempt to rile anyone out of a cultural slumber.

I'm trying to be realistic about the state of things. I'm struggling. I know you don't care. I don't blame you. I have great vision on my periphery, and I know you struggle with your own demons, dillegence and drudgery as well.

Whatever I do in terms of finding steady not working. And I am one of 2 million..doing a daily hustle to uncover some mossy rock to find a 9 to fiver with benefits and an income that allows me to stay one step ahead of fucking Chef Boy- Ar-Dee and his friends Mr. Ramen and an Army of Salvation.
I look at the faces of the faithfully frowning on these grey-ed out street corners. They look so down..they look like erased artwork on a smudged out page. The sound of doors closing behind them and the slushy crunch of approaching dirty buses warmly welcoming them to take a seat among the handout zombies in the flourescent, are the only sounds they hear.

We are all one or two steps from sleeping on them.

The spiraling columns of greed supporting the top 5-7 percent of raging,rabid,lusting billionaires who controlled the mortgages and markets fell in on them and crushed us all. And of course I could be working harder to work harder, but the work isn't there. And there are hours where my soul caves in on the search.

I peek through steel curtains of darkness every day. My love of music and the neverending quest for useless knowledge is both a crutch and a sword. A sunbeam through a exposed square inch of flesh behind the chain mail. I am en guard every minute of every day. I keep looking for the man who voodoo cursed me while I pull another pin out.

I'm one of those show stopping, room clearing guys who could find a cluster of caustic clouds on a July day. And I'm well versed in fuzzy meds and doctoral guidance(?) to know that this day will pass. But my armor has taken so much blunt sister, my job, lack of faith, my unexplained head pain, years of physical labor when I really only want to use my head, the demands of raising a child....the stress feels like swimming blindfolded into a riptide while the ocean is on fire.

I know somewhere my love is strong,one good thing about music- when it hits you feel no pain, it's getting better all the time, I'm chrome wheeled, fuel injected steppin' out over the line, walking out in the morning dew,
livin' easy, livin' free- season ticket on a one way ride, play the tape machine make the toast and tea when I'm mobile, kicking screaming gucci little piggy, it's only castles burning-find someone who's turning and you will come around, I'm a cold Italian pizza that could use a lemon squeezer, hittin on the moonshine- rockin' in the grain, maybe all I need is a shot in the arm.........but not today.

Not Today.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Legendary Skynyrd Keyboardist Billy Powell Passes Away

Fly on, Freebird... Lynyrd Skynyrd keyboardist Billy Powell, whose lightening fast fingers and trademark white baby grand were symbols of the great Southern Rock sound, passed away in Jacksonville, Florida yesterday at age 56.
Billy grew up a Florida boy in Jacksonville and started taking piano lessons at the Sanford Naval Academy in nearby Sanford at his mama's insistence. According to his piano teacher Madeleine Brown, he barely needed her, and was "a natural". He soon returned to Jacksonville, where he met future Skynyrd bassist Leon Wilkeson while in High School. Soon after, he became the roadie for the band until one night in 1972, singer Ronnie Van Zant overheard him playing a version of Freebird on a piano in the corner. Ronnie was so impressed he asked him to join the band, and there he stayed for over 30 years. Billy was a pure underrated talent, a real force of nature on the keys and was often overshadowed in a band with 3 guitarists. He will be missed. There will be an empty spotlight on that white baby grand........Say hello to Ronnie, Allen, Leon, Steve and Cassie now, won't you Bill?

His death leaves Gary Rossington as the sole remaining member of the original line up of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

His standout tracks, in my opinion, include Poison Whiskey(Pronounced Leh-Nerd Skin-nerd), Don't Ask No Questions(Second Helping- listen to the back up piano work!), Call Me The Breeze( Second Helping-his best solo-goes from organ to piano),I Know a Little(Street Survivors-just legendary,and of course, the live version of Freebird(Gold and Platinum)

I plan on cranking the extended version of Street Survivors in your honor today, Mr. Powell.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snow Day Memories

The entire Northeast is under snow, waiting for snow and hating snow. Snow is pretty and it helps a holiday song sound better when you look outside past the Xmas tree branches and its all fluffy and white. But the holidays are long gone and if you don't partake in winter sports.. snow is a cold ,messy hassle and a danger....UNLESS YOU'RE A KID! For if you're a kid, a beautiful blizzard might just mean SNOWWWW DAYYYY! Too tough for the plows to handle and too dangerous for the buses to get you to school....Its time for fun...snowsuits, red plastic sleds with yellow handles, icicle sword fights galore!

Well, these days its XBOX 360, a DVD you've watched 7.3 million times , and texting your friends who are also sitting home snowed in

But when I was a kid....we had great shows to watch and the songs that accompanied them really helped your cheeks defrost and the cocoa sink in after an hour and a half of death defying sledding. So sit back, relax as your socks dry on the radiator and your mom pulls the plastic Wonderbread wrappers out of your boots...and take a journey with me... They're not rock....but they will keep you rollin'!

Remember this? Its from early 70s Sesame Street...and is actually sung by The Pointer Sisters...I used to follow that pinball around like a hypnotist's medallion.I'm sure this either helped me learn to count or was a precursor to my love of pinball. I've never lost my flipper physic ability and will gladly challenge any one of you.

How about this one...The Ladybug Picnic. I have been singing this in my son's ear for glad I found it. I apologize in advance, it will stick in your head until at least Superbowl Sunday. I never knew ladybugs wore swami-looking helmets!

Little 12 Toes!....One of the spookiest,funkiest tunes from Schoolhouse Rock. Love the funk and wah! The intro guitar and shuffle was a wee bit scary for a 7 year old, but it always stuck with me......I loved how his head/arms weren't attached and he stretched apart into the stratosphere like that. Druggy spacey fun! It made me respect the number 12 much more than I did before. It became so much more than Lunch Time!

Vegetable Soup, Man! One of the lesser known shows on PBS but what an intro! Pure funk gospel sung by almost unrecognizable swirling, dancing stick figures..Loved it! Come on along and join us!

"Timer" was a creepy phlegm/lemon drop looking character who taught us how to take better care of ourselves with some kooky animated PSAs from the 70s. Hanker For A Hunk Of Cheese was one of my favorites..the songs were always vaudevillian freakness to me, but very singable! Sorry to say, to this day..I've never reached for a slice of Tomato and a piece of cheese for a snack.wagon wheel inspired or not.....I usually only like that combo with crust around it, covered in pepperoni.

There's a few for your snow day! And always remember " When you're feelin' bored or blue, watch out for the Munchies! They find ways of making you...munch when you're not hungry. Here munch this, here, munch that! Soon you're not just bored, you're fat! Go on out find stuff to do, get munchies off your mind. Soon you'll see you're feeeling great, the Munchies Behind!" Rock On....

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Improving Your Concert Going Experience

There's news today that an off duty police officer was arrested for peeing on a fellow attendee during a Metallica concert in (wait for it)...Boston several days ago. The man was caught by security guards and resisted when asked to leave, flashing his badge and calling one of the guards (who happened to be black) "Obama".

Apparently the young buck with a badge was inebriated and unwilling to huff it out to the port-o-john during "Sad But True" and whipped out his watering stick to shower the black denim of a nearby ticket holder.

Sad times indeed. The only time I've ever been peed on(without being blindfolded and asking nicely-just kidding) was by a cataracted rat dog in my old neighborhood who thought my brown levi cords was a tree. A story like this makes me think of a bit I did some time ago on the podcast that my friend Jefe and I used to cohost. We came up with a list of Douchebags who ruin concerts and I will now share that list with you.

1) The Free Pass Golf Shirt Guy- This ignoramus shows up to a concert of a performer he knows nothing about just because the tickets were free. He is usually accompanied by a bro from middle management and they spend the entire night bragging loudly back and forth about subjects ranging from golf swings to corporate stings to nipple rings while checking texts and craning necks....doing everything except watching the show. These guys don't get the stun setting in my Sci Fi dream...they get vaporized...and my view is cleared.

2) The Fanboy Heckler- This is the asshole who shouts out requests after every song nuch to the chagrin of those within whiff of his Budweiser breath. He/she is hopelessly trying to connect with his/her idol, hollering, hooting and sonically polluting your concert going airspace. I've seen geniuses who try to get the attention of jumbo video screens from the 110th row. I've seen God when they are reprimanded from the stage by their very own heroes.

3)The Crowd Cruiser- If you're crushed into a 3 x 3 standing room only space waiting for the headliner to show up on stage in a minute or two, the Crowd Cruiser will slink by, squirm around and shuffle through a queue of your very own friends to steal your space while "stealing your face". This guy always seems to be looking for that elusive cohort in a thousand deep sea of people. He can often be seen pulling a puffy eyed over tanned girlfriend by the hand and working a cell phone with the other..Sample conversation: "Yo, where are you? Over by the right of the stage..look for the cowboy hat and we're on a brown blanket. Ok dude, be right there."

4) The Picnic Go-ers- These landlubbers plant their asses on the largest blanket this side of the Aids memorial quilt several hours before the show and just vegetate. Bowls will be passed, skin will be burned, flasks will be emptied and friends will bring more blankets to tag team onto theirs. Meanwhile, time is passing and these revelers have forgotten about the show in favor of contacting the nearist contact high.

5)The Monsters In The Middle- This is a group of insanely tall individuals who post hole their six foot plus stretch of head and shoulders smack dab in the center of the crowd. This hulking mass of men usually stand tall with their arms folded in disdain, looking like and moving as much as Easter Island statues and killing your joy, while critiquing in sullen silence.

6) The Show Your Tits Girl- This floozy uses her ample rack and tall beau to her advantage and your distraction. She gets the best seat in the house seated on her defensive end of a boyfriend's shoulders and fools the crowd around her into letting her stay perched there by flashing the floppy goods every now and then. She's smarter than you as hundreds of drunk revelers and a few band members get her attention, sure to be captured on the jumbotron...and sure to ruin the flow of the show.

Those are a few of my favorite things...and those are a few reasons I pay for good seats these days..after shelling out for a sitter, dinner and merch for the wife....In other words..those are a few reasons I stay home.

If you can think of your own concert crushing culprits...send them my way. And if you're on your way to a show...invest in a Whizzernator or keep an empty plastic bottle handy. That way when nature calls you can fill that bottle and chuck it at The Monster In The Middle. Don't end up like Officer Bean Town.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Happy Birthday Ed!

Only once in a lifetime do you get someone as good as Ed Van Halen on guitar. Let us all celebrate his birthday today and witness his prowess with a trip into the Way Back Machine. You're in Largo, Maryland...its 1982. You left a Heineken pyramid and your 13 year old passed out girlfriend in the parking lot, you've got your aquamarine parachute pants've just smoked up and now its on to the show......!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Bang Camaro is the Future

I rarely hype bands here because I'm hopelessly in a Classic Rock Rut/Rush and can never stop listening to Physical Graffiti long enough to be bothered. I have been surprised in the past and I'm always hopeful to find something new that makes me want to find that devil and shout at him! I am pleased to introduce you to Bang Camaro. An awesome band from Boston(yeah, I know, Boston) who describe themselves as "arena rock gone very right". I describe them as the future. I describe them as a band that makes me wanna dust off my best Bad Co. or Judas priest ringer(fuck it, I'll wear 'em both)and re-discover what it is like to be at a rock show with 6 beers in you and the gods of hellfire breathing down your neck.

What's different about Bang Camaro, you Seano-skeptic scourge,you? They have up to 20 lead singers on stage with them at all times, thats what! And they all bring the rock...sometimes with three part harmonies! The songs are melodic and tight and purged from the heavy metal parking lot/cheerleading section of hell, just left of the infinite wall of flaming Marshall stacks...this is well written, banging heads in your basement sing along catchy cock rock. Here they are on Conan raising the roof as they do everywhere they go.

I'm not a gamer...I'm too busy finding the next complaint with three fingers here...but apparently Bang Camaro is one of the featured bands on the Rockband 2 if your semi sedentary like me, check that game out.

But for now, check out their new single.."Life is Hard on the Road" or request it on your local radio station...Epic riffery, great melodies, horns up inspired lyrics...and LOTS OF LEAD SINGERS.....its a perfect combination.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Oscar's A Grouch

The 2009 Academy Award Nominations were announced today and as with every year, there were so- so surprises and wicked snubs abound. Lets just talk about Best Picture for this round.

For Best Picture:

Slumdog Millionaire-Have not seen it but I love everything director Danny Boyle touches(Trainspotting, Sunshine, 28 Days), even if I may be Bolly-bored by the forbidden love meets gameshow winner from the slums of India premis... it is on my to- view list.

Anyone have a screener so I don't have to get a babysitter to see a damn movie? Lots Of Laughs!

Milk- The life and times of Harvey Milk(first openly gay person to be elected to public office) shone through in this taut drama about Milk's rise to power and assassination in late 70's San Francisco during the cruel rule of Anita Bryant .I had a soft spot for this one because it was filmed in my old neck of the woods. . We lived near the Castro district(or as the locals call it, Gay Ground Zero) for 3 years and judging from the location shots, not much has changed except the queens are older, there are twice as many florists and the beards are better kept. It also re -affirmed for me why Sean Penn is the world best living actor.(Dead Man Walking, Carlito's Way, I am Sam, Sweet and Lowdown, Casualties of War, Fast Times at Ridgemont High--Nobody has that range...nobody)

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button- I am in the process of watching this right now(don't ask,don't tell) I love Fincher( Zodiac, Panic Room, Alien 3!). His tight direction is usually innovative and impeccable so I'm sure I will find something to love about it. The Academy got 13 nods. Maybe I'll see the brilliance in Brad Pitt that comes out now and again in movies like 12 Monkeys and Fight Club...and not shat -out dreck like Oceans 12.. It's based on an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story so it will be a thrill to see how they stretch a tome about a man who ages backwards. into 2 plus hours of a tale. Eric Roth who also wrote Forrest Gump gets the screenplay nod here.... Red Bull and a box of chocolates, anyone?

Frost/Nixon- A big talkfest about interviews in the mid 70s btween Tricky Dick and British TV journalist David Frost, directed by Richie Cunningham....I have not seen it and am not a fan of gabfests on celluloid unless it is Kate Winslet speaking. I would watch that dame recite Green Eggs and Ham on an infinite loop. I would watch her recite the Koran with subtitles. Frank Langella is no Kate Winslet....and Nixon, although complex...was no hero of its wayyyy down on a future Netflix queue.

Kate Winslet does show up in the last nominated film The Reader. She plays a smoking hot Nazi who shacks up with a much younger boy, who happens to thoroughly enjoy some post coital story-time..She disappears, only to return to his life as a defendant in the War Crime trials that he is observing as a law student. I'm pitching a tent in my lederhosen just thinking about it.

The word on the street is(and I might agree) that The Dark Knight was snubbed for the Reader. Although it did get 8 noms...they were for technical aspects of film making. Heath Ledger will most likely receive the first posthumous Oscar for his stupendous take on The Joker... since Peter Finch won for his role in Network. The Dark Knight was a remarkable film, but I think the Harvey Dent/Rachel Dawes/Bruce Wayne love triangle really wore on the plot worse than Alyssa Silverstone did in Batman and Robin...and was tediously stretched to yawndom at times.

Clint Eastwood was shut out for Gran Torino in the pic/actor/director/song category, which makes it the biggest snub of all. I think the voters turned to Clint with a .44 made of envious Hollywood actors and screenwriters, and in a way proclaimed to him "Do You Feel Lucky?" ...and Mr. Eastwood ended up at the business end of that exchange after the success of Mystic River, Million Dollar Baby,Flags of Our Fathers and Letters From Iwo Jima.

I'll chat about the actors tomorrow....this is becoming, like Frost/Nixon and the snubbed Revolutionary Road, a talk fest.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

All I Know

All I know is that today is a slow rock news day unless you want to talk about Aretha's Hat.
All I know is that today is a hard day to write without thinking about my sister.
All I know is that February is always a brutal beast and is just 'round the bend.
All I know is seemingly not enough in this little piece of today while I job hunt.
All I know is the above statements are mood enhanced/appropriate, and like a fart, shall pass.
All I know is trivial and non revenue- generating except for having won that game show I was on.
All I know is that even joining/forming another band seems as fun as a blue flame on an open nerve.
All I know is Hope is a dish served cold with a side of stale Cheetos and a Pabst chaser.
All I know is I love all music and all people.
All I know is Josh Homme(QOTSA) is in this video and he's wearing a light purple oxford.
All I know is Mark Lanegan wouldn't be caught dead in those leather trousers today.

All I Know is a song by the late great Screaming Trees.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hope Won't Die Before I Get Old

I feel pretty good today...I feel like I just took a long shower and washed the last 8 years off of my mottled black and dusty skin. It clogged the drain, but eventually disappeared. I'm looking forward to tomorrow when President Obama gets to work on those pressing issues like putting the power of the RIAA back into the hands of the downloading public, and keeping concert tickets below 150.00 a piece.

Soon after after the triumph of the resolution of these issues it will be back to the critical first 100 days in office when I'm sure action will be taken on allowing Hip Hop artists into the Rock Hall of Fame and instituting a 10 year moratorium on dance related reality television.

I am sure, with the power of his constituents behind him, we will eventually never see Jennifer Aniston and her faux perkiness on a tabloid magazine cover and surely, huge fines will be levied on The Jonas Brothers and Vampire Weekend for excessive mediocrity.

Its a great day. But the concert at the Lincoln Memorial the other day truly enraged and perplexed me. I love U2, but there's nothing remotely American about them...don't know why they were there except to coincidentally hype their new..less than stellar single "Get On Your Boots"...They also sang "City of Blinding Lights" which has NOTHING to do with Washington...its about NYC.!!??

The over emoting was also in full force with that crybaby Mary J. Blige blurting out something "meaningful" enough to draw tears YET AGAIN and Ms. "Hipps,Inc.", otherwise known as Beyounce...climbing up her own vocal gymnastics and crashing without a net.

Bruce was a highlight...simply because he had the best facial hair,(Beyounce a close 2nd)and actually sang a song of substance called The Rising.

And in The Falling dept., Garth Brooks came out of that fake Cowboy from Oklahoma graveyard all tucked in tightly(had to be a girdle behind that busy shirt somewhere!) with a that smelly hat of his and bored holes into the skulls of everyone in the crowd with his twangfested limp through American Pie. Doe's anyone have the patience to listen to American Pie anymore? Or Mr. Brooks for that matter? Cmon Garthy...untuck that shirt and live a little...

Stevie Wonder sure is...Whoa boy! he really needs to start watching(insert bad blind joke here) his figure....he's giving Lady Soul a run for her drumsticks(KFC, not Pro-Mark)...but his voice is still impeccable.

An almost fun time was had by all! And its nearly Grammy season.....the suspense is not at all killing me.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Circle Of Fits

As you can see, the new title to my blog is Circle of Fits. I will explain the name here only once. For those not in the school of rock( and BTW, courses are available here daily) the new name is my appropriate sarcastic take on the musical chart showing the relationships among the 12 tones of a chromatic scale. The "Fits" are delivered to me by a plethora of Rock/non rock musicians and their output who happen to use this chart regularly. I can't even read the chart, but I sure can throw a mean fit. Its a pun, duh! I like puns and I like the name.

Thank you to all of those readers who chimed in with support or disdain, and to those who had their own suggestions. Rocktologist was a close second, but Mr. Google alerted me to MANY Rocktologists. This turned out to be a big pain in the ass. The name didn't necessarily bowl me over so it was wiped clean and I "moved" on.

Please continue to leave your comments HERE on the site and not on any email you get. Don't be a pussy. It doesn't hurt that much and you'll forget what you wrote by your second morning tinkle. I encourage dialogue and it's so much easier while in the comments HERE. And please be a FOLLOWER of me in that column over to the right. Its not spam. I just like seeing your glowing mugs every day for inspiration.

I'll decide on the winning comment(blog names selection) and let the winner know soon so you can get your DVD or one of my very hard to find 8 X 11 glamour shots from my first Album Mercury Moves.

thanks again, Seano

Thursday, January 15, 2009

DVD Review: Caligula(Blue Ray) The Imperial Edition

For 2009 I have decided to review movies on this blog as I see fit. I will focus on those that I am offered for review that happen to be near and dear to my rusted black ticker. Today I present Caligula: The Imperial Edition on Blue Ray. Caligula is one of those movies that happened to affect me in the right place at the right time. It was my first introduction to the LOVE SCENE. The right time was 1981...junior high was awash over me. I rocked the green Levi's cords(with the white pocket tag) and the flannel snapped shirt and the immense purple comb. Back then at Martha Brown Junior had a comb. Period. The feathers HAD to be in place, even in study hall. We had to be cute AND coiffed..for the ladies, you know? The one you wanted to ask to meet you at Sharkey's Skate rink that weekend..both parties being dropped off and picked up by their Moms in covert, non embarrassing fashion. The skates were tight and so were the Jordaches ...In other words...Puberty was in full force.

My 12 year old libido was uncapped, let free and nudged along by this movie and its brilliant depravity scarred me for life.It was produced by Bob Guccione(of Penthouse) and starred a gaggle of top award winning actors...John Gielgud, Peter O'Toole, Helen Mirren and Malcolm McDowell. The place to be was ancient Rome, and life with the mildly insane Caesar(Caligula was his nickname) and his friends or enemies was one huge trial, blodbath or orgy. This guy namedropped himself as a God, took a lot of baths and drank and screwed until Rome burned. He also bedded his own sisters and tried to make his Horse a priest in the eyes of the people! He outdid his own Grandfather Tiberius who was a mack daddy of depravity in his own right.Furthermore and fabulous, he had a hand in his murder to steal the throne! Dude! I don't think his partying skills have ever been rivaled and it is well on display on this expanded 2 disc DVD (originally released in 1980 in the US-the year my voice broke).There is a staggering list of extras included with this release: never before seen pics from the set, an alternate pre -release version , Gore Vidal's original screenplay, and an interview with Lori Wagner. Lori was one of the 2 women in the legendary lesbian scene at the Temple of Isis (pretty hardcore for 1980) that changed my life via Betamax in a suburban basement somewhere.
The movie's production problems, snafus lawsuits and budget were the stuff of legend.. The original director Tinto Brass was fired by Guccione for shooting enough film to "Make Ben Hur 50 times over" and Guccione took over to put his own Penthouse pets in a variety of hardcore scenes. Brass preferred to use flawed and zaftig type women in a more realistic vision of Rome. The script was changed several times while shooting, and it was panned upon release in the US in 1980 for excessive debauchery(or people having too much fun)with scenes including infanticide, female urination, anal fisting,incest and castration. I wonder what the Velvet Rope policy was to get into this place? It was breath taking as a nubile teen on a hot streak of self discovery and breathtaking now.. Its all here on this release...the wine, the blood the beast and the breast..worth another look for sure for the cast, the extras and the lore behind this enormous undertaking.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The 2009 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductees

Well, Time to bitch and moan again. Time to call bullshit and sling mud at the moronic rock establishment. I know it's corporate posturing, I know in a lot of ways its just a fucking museum....but WHYYYYY? I am a common sense guy. Help those in need, love the one you're with, don't stand at the top of the subway stairs, don't have 16 items in the express check out lane, measure twice- cut once..and RESPECT your elders.
That Said....Here are the this years RRHOF and my rapid fire corrections to the old and in the way guys who run this thing.

Metallica- Sure. Metallica gets in. Sold too many t-shirts and provided too many pivotal jagermeister- flavored concert parking lot moments not to. But First Ballot? My point is.....In the Metal Family Tree, there is NO Metallica without Iron Maiden and Judas Priest..or even Motorhead! All Been around LONGER. Yeah, another metal band in finally, you say? I say respect the elders or the whole shebang reeks of shite. This head is not banging right now.

Run DMC- This is where the foundation vibrates...the girders start to sway and because of all of those non rock and roll shit hop crumbles on itself in a heap of fair and equal rainbow connective tissue. And the omnipresent need for shit hop to bleed into everything made of sweat, denim and steel is finally paid attention to. I call your bluff and raise you, Mr. Wenner and Co. Elvis wouldn't have it. Dylan wouldn't have it. Hell I bet Jimi wouldn't have it. I'm not having it. Say it with me...Rock and Roll! Now show me the Beatles or Nirvana on the fucking Soul Train awards and I'll shut up.

Wanda Jackson- I did my research. She was an Elvis era woman who played guitar and sang rough and ready. Check out Fujiyama Mama on You Tube. She's paid dues and was an obvious influence to women of all musical genres, even when the music establishment refused to let a woman break out. She stayed and played. She's long overdue.

Little Anthony and The Imperials- The obligatory romance with Doo Wop continues and this years pick is the vertically challenged Tony and his group of velvety vox-ed back ups. There is nothing we can doo wop to stop this trend so I will sing a little Tears on My Pillow as I cry myself to sleep. At least he didn't change his name to 'Lil Anthony.

Jeff Beck- Of Course! Thanks for noticing one of the three greatest living guitarists whose style is one of a kind and has never come close to being duplicated. He's only been around for 40 PLUS Years and can shit out every best lick of Clapton's with a mere thought. The coolest thing about Jeff Beck besides his playing is his brilliant arrogance. Why have a singer when its only going to get in the way of your fierce run of riff, your blur of fusion and shred? See Ya, Rod! Have fun drooling out those Standards!

And Finally..............No Stooges. Again. No Stooges. What, did Iggy hit on your boyfriend, Jann? Did he hawk a wad of spit on your Gucci Loafers?..Lets recount while we recoil.. First Punk band. Immeasurable influence..One of the best frontmen of all time....Performed at last years Ceremony FOR Madonna at her request...Shit even a not- worthy, over- ripped, over- 50 tart like herself knows greatness...I annoy myself by repeating all of this....and then Ron Asheton ups and dies and you give us RUN FUCKING DMC. No Fun...Baby..No Fun.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

No Fun, Baby..No Fun

I'm no fun anymore. I spent most of last Friday in a Brooklyn hospital in the ER with a headache turned up to 11. That means, if you move..if you take one step you'll feel you'll lose consciousness. The pain is equivalent to having grey matter,clump by clump pulled out of your ear for seven hours straight, no chaser while your eyes bleed and your teeth melt. I've gone to the ER twice before with headaches this bad...and there's nothing remotely rock and roll about it.

There was an old man next to me complaining of back problems. He had more brain cells than teeth and they would come to see him every three hours after they promised him meds. I heard a few grunts and then the acrid stench of a canine- challenged octogenarian pissing himself overcame me.The guy never said WORD ONE. Did you know even after two hearty percocets, one's sense of smell is still top notch throught the fog. I came close to ripping out the IV and bolting. But if I moved, I'd lose consciousness, see.
One's vision remains top notch as well while bludgeoned with narcotics, Yes, there's two or three of everything...but that really doesn't rule in your favor when the severely retarded latino man to your right adorned with 6 wristwatches, gets up to use the bath room and you see that he already HAS. And its dripping in a beige-ish soup down the side of his gurney..while his mother prays in Spanish gibberish..NURSE! More Percocet!

My Cat scan came back negative(again) and I was released with no relief but a scrip for three days worth of percocet. Party on, Garth. I need to get to the bottom of this.....While I was laying there in a pile of pain and a maze of dirty gurneys...I was thinking of headache songs...songs with the word head in them, etc.

I came up with these:

1) Headknocker-Foreigner
2) Head Games-Foreigner
3) Head-Prince
4) Heading Out To The Highway- Judas Priest
5) Tension Head-QOTSA
6) I Think I Lost My Headache-QOTSA
7) Teenage Head-Flamin' Groovies
8) Over My Head- Fleetwood Mac
9) Head Like a Hole- NIN
10) Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head - BJ Thomas
11) Motorhead-Motorhead
12) Head Over Heels-Tears For Fears
13) Crazy Baldhead-Bob Marley
14) Bang Your Head-Quiet Riot
15) Bullet in Your Head- RATM
16) Horse Head-Black Crowes
17) Can't Get It Out Of My Head- ELO
18) Machine Head(Deep Purple album, not the Bush song)
19) Check Your Head-Beastie Boys
20) Mind Riot- Soundgarden
21) Head For Backstage Pass- Jeff Beck
22) Teenage Lobotomy-Ramones

I would love it if you reminded me of any I might have forgotten....and try if you can to stay out of those emergency rooms.

Monday, January 12, 2009

More Blog Titles

I've been encouraged by some followers to keep trying with the blog titles and to stop at either Circle of Fits or Rocktologist by others. So here are a few more: I will decide on Friday, whether you like it or not. Please respond to MY actual BLOG and not the email you receive...I like to see your comments here. Thanks

1) Squeeze My Lennon
2) My Voice Broke
3) Covered in Keef's Blood
4) Idiots Rule
5) Stone Cold Lazy
6) Smack Baby Smack
7) Metal Guru
8) Hair Supply
9) I Sing The Body Electric
10) Righteous Peabrain
11) Sons of the Silent Age
12) Debacalypse Now
13) Sedation Day
14) Riffs in Oblivion
15) Bad Posture
16) Lo Siento Mucho
17) Back in Flack
18) The Ejector Seat
19) Kisses and Hugs
20) Rock, Scissors, Paper

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

New Blog Name Choices

I don't like the name of my blog and I never did. Yeah, I'm Seano, but who cares? People will get to know me by reading anyhow.And I'm blogging more than sometimes, so the name has got to go. Its time for the first of many, being true to my form, I've come up with a list of a few candidates for the new name of this blog.

I would love your feedback as well. And the person with the best comment/feedback as voted by me will win one of the next cd/dvds that I review.My wife is excluded, because she lives with me. Basically if you sit on your ass with your thought stuffed under your left ass cheek, you get nil, nada. Come on people now, shine on your brother...everybody get together try to....yeah, you get the picture. Here are a few...with more to come in future posts. I want to make a decision at the end of two weeks. Some of them suck yarbles,some too cool for school, some have potential.....but like all of my lists...its first thought..pen to paper.....that having been said....

1) Precious and Grace
2) Two Bit Peanut Monkey
3) Rocktologist
4) Had It In The Ear Before
5) Slaves and Bulldozers
6) Mind Riot
7) Circle Of Fits
8) Stressterdays
9) Red Snapper Incident
10) Goodbye,Cleveland
11) Torn and Frayed
12) Find Your Way Back
13) Bent Back Tulips
14) Maybe I'm Amused
15) The Silver Mountain

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Stooges Guitarist Ron Asheton Dead at 60

Man...this was a royal bummer to read this morning...The Stooges founding member and guitarist Ron Asheton was found dead in his Ann Arbor, MI home early this morning. He was 60. I've always stated that The Stooges were the first punk band to exist...they exploded out of Detroit starting around '67 or so. There was nobody like them...and with Iggy out front...they could punk the pants off of you or have you running for the exits with your ears covered. You never knew what would hit you at a Stooges show.

Ron was the man behind the epic riffs in "I Wanna Be Your Dog", "TV Eye" and "No Fun". He never got the respect as any of the other early, brilliantly sloppy punk axemen did...and was eventually demoted to being the bass player after original bassist Dave Alexander died from drink...and James Williamson came in for Raw Power in 1973 to put punk on the map of maps with his own guitar goods.
Ron came back to the Stooges fold in 2003 as guitarist and the re-united band put out a very Stooges-like album of uneven brilliance called The Weirdness in 2007. They had been on the road for almost 4 years straight. I was lucky enough to see them at the Warfield Theatre in San Francisco on their 2007 tour. We'll miss you, Ron.

Monday, January 05, 2009

A Hustle Here And A Hustle There

I've been spending a tremendous amount of time in New York City lately for work. Yet, I have been able to wander around like a good little rocker and check out the sites after hours. I know my way around having lived there for a total of 6 years...and its been fun retracing rock's steps in between my migraines and moodiness.

I'm working in Soho on Mercer Street 3 blocks away from the just opened Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Annex. This large space is supposed to be New York's addition to that big museum in Cleveland where all of the obese bright colored shirt wearing tourists go looking for SOMETHING,ANYTHING to do in Cleveland. Its in a weird section of NY. I guess Jann and Co. wanted it downtown somewhere. And even though Mercer Street is one Street west of Broadway...its pretty quiet..lots of galleries and boutique shopping. I was camped out there a few weeks ago on opening night to see if I could spot anyone worth talking about...not many..Jann Wenner..Bob Gruen(famous rock fotog)..Theodora Richards(Keith's daughter) Les Paul...looking very 90 something, DMC(from run DMC, but who cares....he shouldn't be in the RNRHOF, anyway)...and several odd Addams familiy-ish people who must have been descendants of the Ramones. I thought about buying a ticket but 26.00 to see the original awning from CBGB and Joey's leather jacket but I played at CBGB, I'd seen Joey walking the streets of Manhattan before, so big whup.... 26 greenbacks is too much, but smiles are free.

I also had to stop and take a few great pics of the ominous, beautiful and full of history Chelsea Hotel on 23rd st. I've walked past it a hundred times on my way to get a gallon of paint for some midtown snob that I made a room pretty for....but never realized how beautiful it was, regardless of the millions of strewn needles that made the place famous. It was an oasis in Manhattan for many artists,writers and musicians and a non permanent home for everyone from Arthur C. Clarke to Joni Mitchell to Richard Hell to Dee Dee Ramone to Sid and Nancy. Hello NY, Goodbye, Cleveland........I'm going back to NY on Thursday for more hijinx and maybe more pics..I'll keep you posted.

Friday, January 02, 2009

You Say You Want A Resolution...Well, You Know

I am amazed at the spin cycle of my sickness and health in the last 24 hours. In one moment I was on a train trying to take a migraine pill without water. It got stuck(first time in my 40 years this has ever happened)and I came close to choking. I asked several complete strangers for water in a frantic knotted voice that came out sounding like it was filtered thru an emphesema kazoo.
Besides that, the pill didn't work and I spent the next 16 hours living in an endless and airless chamber of head pain.Lay there and wait head pain. Miss out on life and let your shit thoughts win head pain... I have a metallic taste in my mouth that has been present for days. I did frantically eat a chocolate bar but don't remember engulfing the surrounding foil as well. My ear hurts..going on 40 years now and it affects everything negatively except my selective hearing (which comes in handy in the throes of an arguement).My eaustacean tube does not drain correctly and every time I get a cold...I get an ear infection. then I get congested and I can't sing. I am constantly wracked with fatigue, rebelliously out of shape(two flights of stairs and I'm huffing it)...and when not addicted to pale ales, the fabulosity of refined sugar does the trick just as well, if not better.

I am sad and lazy and when I'm not one, I'm the other. I keep waiting to be inspired into action by my sister's courageous journey.(fire up that excuse drumroll)...and I know the only one who can do something about it is me.

People, its time for a change..and what's a better time for change than resolution season?! I know the stats...80 percent of all resolutions fail...but even if I just hit the one out of the FIVE that I've chosen. It would be an improvement over 2008.

Here's my list..

1) To My Health- I know your in there, hiding behind muffin tops and the dark clouds of my thoughts. I know you are waiting for me to raise my heart rate in any other way but anxiety. I have cheated on you, but I'm going to win you back.. I hear you pounding away at the steel cage of doubt, fear anger and pain that house both my heart and head. Here I come. I'm going to let you in now.

2) To My Ambition- I see you waving at me from the south side of my psyche, shouting out dirty words like potential and talent. I see you hindered by my lack of health and focus. You make me so spit on me with missed opportunities that I dwell on for ages. I'm coming for you too. I'm going to seek until I find what makes me tick and what makes it stick.

3) To My Music- To the one that keeps getting away, the laurels I rest my riffs on. The releases that never happened, the tracks that lay dormant on a dusty hard drive, the barre chord barrier that stops my progress,the cover bands that lure me in and steal my time with the promise of a pay can all go piss up a power chord. I'm stealing you back. I've got the voice, the wordiness and the fucking basement to back it up! I'm bringing three chords and the truth down to meet Dylan's Mister Jones.! I'm headin' out to the highway, I've got nothing to lose at all! I'm gonna take a look around see which way the wind blow! I'll take a quiet life and a handshake....I'm in the mood for a melody,I'm in the mood for a melody, I'm in the mood!

4) To My Words- I have left you at the crossroads before..for almost five story, lyric, journal, poem...nuthin'. I'm rusty...and this blog is my stretch before the marathon...this is where I build my verbal muscle, sprint off into reviews, song, even a screenplay. I will pace myself, learn the craft and stop sucking wind criticizing from the couch. I will use you up...lose you to the best of my ability.

5) To My Family- I am in here somewhere...thank you for letting me know. I'm going to wriggle out of this skin in 2009 and let the sun burn the ghost right out of me. You'll see it burn off like steaming asphalt on a hot day in the suburbs. I hope to make you smile and think from me this time....give yourselves a rest.

I also hope to make new friends in the blogosphere, re-name this blog, learn how to tie a tie, design a website, tile a bathroom, build a jam room, grow some lillies, lose all reality TV, embrace more greens, convene all of the cousins, go on bike rides, teach my boy how to sing, write my sister's book, read the camera manual, teach the cat to stay off of the table,make it easier for my wife to embrace the basement and love all music and all people.........well, 16 out of 17 ain't bad......Happy New Year.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

2009 Starts With My Head In A Vice

The year starts throbbing and relentless
It is a migraine and residue from satisfied stress.
can't decide which I like less.
My son asked me to go rollerskating with Mommy and him this morning
I had to tell him daddy's head hurts too much.
Yesterday he kissed it and said "There, now you are all better."
such a beautiful thing...the kindness of a child.
Why can't that be enough.
When will I be rid of this monster that raids my thoughts and bear hugs my temples
like a walnut in a vice.
Turn it around one more time until my multiple stabbed memories spill out
and my anger and shame bleed onto the couch.
The neurons are cunning blades bursting behind eyes
that water and droop and forget to see...
This is my introduction to the new year
meet the old boss...same as the old boss......but soon...
I will meet you in an alley, behind the wall, from within the hole
scuffle in the ditch
in a flurry of heat and science and health
we will finish this once and for all and I drink from the challis of clear thought, sprint through the fog
regain my place on the wheel
fierce this cog.

Those of you who aren't privy to this maddening pain
too blessed to be stressed.
Horse healthy, unburdened and sturdy.
I plan on crossing over to your island. taking your course
hand always up in class
I hope to reclaim the lost hours and stay the horizon line.
but for now, I just want to pass through this flaming door
and dive into the soothing depth of sleep.