I had an ultrasound last weekend after 2 straight weeks of weird in and out dull knife abdominal pain. I sweated it out doing furious internet research on appendicitis, intestinal polyps, duodenal ulcers with a twist of acid reflux, and of course, cancer.
I had no bloody stool, no rusty pee, no puketastic flashes, no fever for the flavor...nada. But still two days on, one day off weird pain, jetting out of my lymph nodes and sprinkling glass like shards down into remote capillary isles of pain punches in my ankles and wrists. I had a steak with lemon pepper and a late nite bowl of mini wheats last wed. and around 1 am it felt like I had been de bowelled.....so what the fuck? I got the results a couple days ago. NOTHING. No polyp, no tear, no leak, no tumor, no stone, no fecal blockage. So was it all in my head? Is the stress creeping up like a corduroy straight jacket and settling in for the season? I'm going to a gastro astrologist intestinal anthropologist next week to see what he can't find. The stomach is a weird place where all of your troubles end up every once in a while, shoot the shit, play parcheesi and drop kick your cavities for laughs.
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