Today I don't feel like telling you about who's headlining Coachella..or who's been added to the Grammy Performance line-up. I can link you to 500000000 websites who can give you that scintillating info if you want it.
Today I'm not going to post some obscure video from you tube to cocoon myself in the magnificent safety of reminiscing, while trying to impress 21 readers, most have which stumbled on this site and don't even speak the language.
Today, I'm not going to hype some band who nobody cares about in a half- hearted attempt to rile anyone out of a cultural slumber.
I'm trying to be realistic about the state of things. I'm struggling. I know you don't care. I don't blame you. I have great vision on my periphery, and I know you struggle with your own demons, dillegence and drudgery as well.
Whatever I do in terms of finding steady work..is not working. And I am one of 2 million..doing a daily hustle to uncover some mossy rock to find a 9 to fiver with benefits and an income that allows me to stay one step ahead of fucking Chef Boy- Ar-Dee and his friends Mr. Ramen and an Army of Salvation.
I look at the faces of the faithfully frowning on these grey-ed out street corners. They look so down..they look like erased artwork on a smudged out page. The sound of doors closing behind them and the slushy crunch of approaching dirty buses warmly welcoming them to take a seat among the handout zombies in the flourescent, are the only sounds they hear.
We are all one or two steps from sleeping on them.
The spiraling columns of greed supporting the top 5-7 percent of raging,rabid,lusting billionaires who controlled the mortgages and markets fell in on them and crushed us all. And of course I could be working harder to work harder, but the work isn't there. And there are hours where my soul caves in on the search.
I peek through steel curtains of darkness every day. My love of music and the neverending quest for useless knowledge is both a crutch and a sword. A sunbeam through a keyhole....an exposed square inch of flesh behind the chain mail. I am en guard every minute of every day. I keep looking for the man who voodoo cursed me while I pull another pin out.
I'm one of those show stopping, room clearing guys who could find a cluster of caustic clouds on a July day. And I'm well versed in fuzzy meds and doctoral guidance(?) to know that this day will pass. But my armor has taken so much blunt force...my sister, my job, lack of faith, my unexplained head pain, years of physical labor when I really only want to use my head, the demands of raising a child....the stress feels like swimming blindfolded into a riptide while the ocean is on fire.
I know somewhere my love is strong,one good thing about music- when it hits you feel no pain, it's getting better all the time, I'm chrome wheeled, fuel injected steppin' out over the line, walking out in the morning dew,
livin' easy, livin' free- season ticket on a one way ride, play the tape machine make the toast and tea when I'm mobile, kicking screaming gucci little piggy, it's only castles burning-find someone who's turning and you will come around, I'm a cold Italian pizza that could use a lemon squeezer, hittin on the moonshine- rockin' in the grain, maybe all I need is a shot in the arm.........but not today.
Not Today.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Legendary Skynyrd Keyboardist Billy Powell Passes Away
Fly on, Freebird... Lynyrd Skynyrd keyboardist Billy Powell, whose lightening fast fingers and trademark white baby grand were symbols of the great Southern Rock sound, passed away in Jacksonville, Florida yesterday at age 56.
Billy grew up a Florida boy in Jacksonville and started taking piano lessons at the Sanford Naval Academy in nearby Sanford at his mama's insistence. According to his piano teacher Madeleine Brown, he barely needed her, and was "a natural". He soon returned to Jacksonville, where he met future Skynyrd bassist Leon Wilkeson while in High School. Soon after, he became the roadie for the band until one night in 1972, singer Ronnie Van Zant overheard him playing a version of Freebird on a piano in the corner. Ronnie was so impressed he asked him to join the band, and there he stayed for over 30 years. Billy was a pure underrated talent, a real force of nature on the keys and was often overshadowed in a band with 3 guitarists. He will be missed. There will be an empty spotlight on that white baby grand........Say hello to Ronnie, Allen, Leon, Steve and Cassie now, won't you Bill?
His death leaves Gary Rossington as the sole remaining member of the original line up of Lynyrd Skynyrd.
His standout tracks, in my opinion, include Poison Whiskey(Pronounced Leh-Nerd Skin-nerd), Don't Ask No Questions(Second Helping- listen to the back up piano work!), Call Me The Breeze( Second Helping-his best solo-goes from organ to piano),I Know a Little(Street Survivors-just legendary,and of course, the live version of Freebird(Gold and Platinum)
I plan on cranking the extended version of Street Survivors in your honor today, Mr. Powell.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Snow Day Memories
The entire Northeast is under snow, waiting for snow and hating snow. Snow is pretty and it helps a holiday song sound better when you look outside past the Xmas tree branches and its all fluffy and white. But the holidays are long gone and if you don't partake in winter sports.. snow is a cold ,messy hassle and a danger....UNLESS YOU'RE A KID! For if you're a kid, a beautiful blizzard might just mean SNOWWWW DAYYYY! Too tough for the plows to handle and too dangerous for the buses to get you to school....Its time for fun...snowsuits, red plastic sleds with yellow handles, icicle sword fights galore!
Well, these days its XBOX 360, a DVD you've watched 7.3 million times , and texting your friends who are also sitting home snowed in
But when I was a kid....we had great shows to watch and the songs that accompanied them really helped your cheeks defrost and the cocoa sink in after an hour and a half of death defying sledding. So sit back, relax as your socks dry on the radiator and your mom pulls the plastic Wonderbread wrappers out of your boots...and take a journey with me... They're not rock....but they will keep you rollin'!
Remember this? Its from early 70s Sesame Street...and is actually sung by The Pointer Sisters...I used to follow that pinball around like a hypnotist's medallion.I'm sure this either helped me learn to count or was a precursor to my love of pinball. I've never lost my flipper physic ability and will gladly challenge any one of you.
How about this one...The Ladybug Picnic. I have been singing this in my son's ear for years...so glad I found it. I apologize in advance, it will stick in your head until at least Superbowl Sunday. I never knew ladybugs wore swami-looking helmets!
Little 12 Toes!....One of the spookiest,funkiest tunes from Schoolhouse Rock. Love the funk and wah! The intro guitar and shuffle was a wee bit scary for a 7 year old, but it always stuck with me......I loved how his head/arms weren't attached and he stretched apart into the stratosphere like that. Druggy spacey fun! It made me respect the number 12 much more than I did before. It became so much more than Lunch Time!
Vegetable Soup, Man! One of the lesser known shows on PBS but what an intro! Pure funk gospel sung by almost unrecognizable swirling, dancing stick figures..Loved it! Come on along and join us!
"Timer" was a creepy phlegm/lemon drop looking character who taught us how to take better care of ourselves with some kooky animated PSAs from the 70s. Hanker For A Hunk Of Cheese was one of my favorites..the songs were always vaudevillian freakness to me, but very singable! Sorry to say, to this day..I've never reached for a slice of Tomato and a piece of cheese for a snack.wagon wheel inspired or not.....I usually only like that combo with crust around it, covered in pepperoni.
There's a few for your snow day! And always remember " When you're feelin' bored or blue, watch out for the Munchies! They find ways of making you...munch when you're not hungry. Here munch this, here, munch that! Soon you're not just bored, you're fat! Go on out find stuff to do, get munchies off your mind. Soon you'll see you're feeeling great, the Munchies Behind!" Rock On....
Well, these days its XBOX 360, a DVD you've watched 7.3 million times , and texting your friends who are also sitting home snowed in
But when I was a kid....we had great shows to watch and the songs that accompanied them really helped your cheeks defrost and the cocoa sink in after an hour and a half of death defying sledding. So sit back, relax as your socks dry on the radiator and your mom pulls the plastic Wonderbread wrappers out of your boots...and take a journey with me... They're not rock....but they will keep you rollin'!
Remember this? Its from early 70s Sesame Street...and is actually sung by The Pointer Sisters...I used to follow that pinball around like a hypnotist's medallion.I'm sure this either helped me learn to count or was a precursor to my love of pinball. I've never lost my flipper physic ability and will gladly challenge any one of you.
How about this one...The Ladybug Picnic. I have been singing this in my son's ear for years...so glad I found it. I apologize in advance, it will stick in your head until at least Superbowl Sunday. I never knew ladybugs wore swami-looking helmets!
Little 12 Toes!....One of the spookiest,funkiest tunes from Schoolhouse Rock. Love the funk and wah! The intro guitar and shuffle was a wee bit scary for a 7 year old, but it always stuck with me......I loved how his head/arms weren't attached and he stretched apart into the stratosphere like that. Druggy spacey fun! It made me respect the number 12 much more than I did before. It became so much more than Lunch Time!
Vegetable Soup, Man! One of the lesser known shows on PBS but what an intro! Pure funk gospel sung by almost unrecognizable swirling, dancing stick figures..Loved it! Come on along and join us!
"Timer" was a creepy phlegm/lemon drop looking character who taught us how to take better care of ourselves with some kooky animated PSAs from the 70s. Hanker For A Hunk Of Cheese was one of my favorites..the songs were always vaudevillian freakness to me, but very singable! Sorry to say, to this day..I've never reached for a slice of Tomato and a piece of cheese for a snack.wagon wheel inspired or not.....I usually only like that combo with crust around it, covered in pepperoni.
There's a few for your snow day! And always remember " When you're feelin' bored or blue, watch out for the Munchies! They find ways of making you...munch when you're not hungry. Here munch this, here, munch that! Soon you're not just bored, you're fat! Go on out find stuff to do, get munchies off your mind. Soon you'll see you're feeeling great, the Munchies Behind!" Rock On....
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Improving Your Concert Going Experience
There's news today that an off duty police officer was arrested for peeing on a fellow attendee during a Metallica concert in (wait for it)...Boston several days ago. The man was caught by security guards and resisted when asked to leave, flashing his badge and calling one of the guards (who happened to be black) "Obama".
Apparently the young buck with a badge was inebriated and unwilling to huff it out to the port-o-john during "Sad But True" and whipped out his watering stick to shower the black denim of a nearby ticket holder.
Sad times indeed. The only time I've ever been peed on(without being blindfolded and asking nicely-just kidding) was by a cataracted rat dog in my old neighborhood who thought my brown levi cords was a tree. A story like this makes me think of a bit I did some time ago on the podcast that my friend Jefe and I used to cohost. We came up with a list of Douchebags who ruin concerts and I will now share that list with you.
1) The Free Pass Golf Shirt Guy- This ignoramus shows up to a concert of a performer he knows nothing about just because the tickets were free. He is usually accompanied by a bro from middle management and they spend the entire night bragging loudly back and forth about subjects ranging from golf swings to corporate stings to nipple rings while checking texts and craning necks....doing everything except watching the show. These guys don't get the stun setting in my Sci Fi dream...they get vaporized...and my view is cleared.
2) The Fanboy Heckler- This is the asshole who shouts out requests after every song nuch to the chagrin of those within whiff of his Budweiser breath. He/she is hopelessly trying to connect with his/her idol, hollering, hooting and sonically polluting your concert going airspace. I've seen geniuses who try to get the attention of jumbo video screens from the 110th row. I've seen God when they are reprimanded from the stage by their very own heroes.
3)The Crowd Cruiser- If you're crushed into a 3 x 3 standing room only space waiting for the headliner to show up on stage in a minute or two, the Crowd Cruiser will slink by, squirm around and shuffle through a queue of your very own friends to steal your space while "stealing your face". This guy always seems to be looking for that elusive cohort in a thousand deep sea of people. He can often be seen pulling a puffy eyed over tanned girlfriend by the hand and working a cell phone with the other..Sample conversation: "Yo, where are you? Over by the right of the stage..look for the cowboy hat and we're on a brown blanket. Ok dude, be right there."
4) The Picnic Go-ers- These landlubbers plant their asses on the largest blanket this side of the Aids memorial quilt several hours before the show and just vegetate. Bowls will be passed, skin will be burned, flasks will be emptied and friends will bring more blankets to tag team onto theirs. Meanwhile, time is passing and these revelers have forgotten about the show in favor of contacting the nearist contact high.
5)The Monsters In The Middle- This is a group of insanely tall individuals who post hole their six foot plus stretch of head and shoulders smack dab in the center of the crowd. This hulking mass of men usually stand tall with their arms folded in disdain, looking like and moving as much as Easter Island statues and killing your joy, while critiquing in sullen silence.
6) The Show Your Tits Girl- This floozy uses her ample rack and tall beau to her advantage and your distraction. She gets the best seat in the house seated on her defensive end of a boyfriend's shoulders and fools the crowd around her into letting her stay perched there by flashing the floppy goods every now and then. She's smarter than you as hundreds of drunk revelers and a few band members get her attention, sure to be captured on the jumbotron...and sure to ruin the flow of the show.
Those are a few of my favorite things...and those are a few reasons I pay for good seats these days..after shelling out for a sitter, dinner and merch for the wife....In other words..those are a few reasons I stay home.
If you can think of your own concert crushing culprits...send them my way. And if you're on your way to a show...invest in a Whizzernator or keep an empty plastic bottle handy. That way when nature calls you can fill that bottle and chuck it at The Monster In The Middle. Don't end up like Officer Bean Town.
Apparently the young buck with a badge was inebriated and unwilling to huff it out to the port-o-john during "Sad But True" and whipped out his watering stick to shower the black denim of a nearby ticket holder.
Sad times indeed. The only time I've ever been peed on(without being blindfolded and asking nicely-just kidding) was by a cataracted rat dog in my old neighborhood who thought my brown levi cords was a tree. A story like this makes me think of a bit I did some time ago on the podcast that my friend Jefe and I used to cohost. We came up with a list of Douchebags who ruin concerts and I will now share that list with you.
1) The Free Pass Golf Shirt Guy- This ignoramus shows up to a concert of a performer he knows nothing about just because the tickets were free. He is usually accompanied by a bro from middle management and they spend the entire night bragging loudly back and forth about subjects ranging from golf swings to corporate stings to nipple rings while checking texts and craning necks....doing everything except watching the show. These guys don't get the stun setting in my Sci Fi dream...they get vaporized...and my view is cleared.
2) The Fanboy Heckler- This is the asshole who shouts out requests after every song nuch to the chagrin of those within whiff of his Budweiser breath. He/she is hopelessly trying to connect with his/her idol, hollering, hooting and sonically polluting your concert going airspace. I've seen geniuses who try to get the attention of jumbo video screens from the 110th row. I've seen God when they are reprimanded from the stage by their very own heroes.
3)The Crowd Cruiser- If you're crushed into a 3 x 3 standing room only space waiting for the headliner to show up on stage in a minute or two, the Crowd Cruiser will slink by, squirm around and shuffle through a queue of your very own friends to steal your space while "stealing your face". This guy always seems to be looking for that elusive cohort in a thousand deep sea of people. He can often be seen pulling a puffy eyed over tanned girlfriend by the hand and working a cell phone with the other..Sample conversation: "Yo, where are you? Over by the right of the stage..look for the cowboy hat and we're on a brown blanket. Ok dude, be right there."
4) The Picnic Go-ers- These landlubbers plant their asses on the largest blanket this side of the Aids memorial quilt several hours before the show and just vegetate. Bowls will be passed, skin will be burned, flasks will be emptied and friends will bring more blankets to tag team onto theirs. Meanwhile, time is passing and these revelers have forgotten about the show in favor of contacting the nearist contact high.
5)The Monsters In The Middle- This is a group of insanely tall individuals who post hole their six foot plus stretch of head and shoulders smack dab in the center of the crowd. This hulking mass of men usually stand tall with their arms folded in disdain, looking like and moving as much as Easter Island statues and killing your joy, while critiquing in sullen silence.
6) The Show Your Tits Girl- This floozy uses her ample rack and tall beau to her advantage and your distraction. She gets the best seat in the house seated on her defensive end of a boyfriend's shoulders and fools the crowd around her into letting her stay perched there by flashing the floppy goods every now and then. She's smarter than you as hundreds of drunk revelers and a few band members get her attention, sure to be captured on the jumbotron...and sure to ruin the flow of the show.
Those are a few of my favorite things...and those are a few reasons I pay for good seats these days..after shelling out for a sitter, dinner and merch for the wife....In other words..those are a few reasons I stay home.
If you can think of your own concert crushing culprits...send them my way. And if you're on your way to a show...invest in a Whizzernator or keep an empty plastic bottle handy. That way when nature calls you can fill that bottle and chuck it at The Monster In The Middle. Don't end up like Officer Bean Town.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Happy Birthday Ed!
Only once in a lifetime do you get someone as good as Ed Van Halen on guitar. Let us all celebrate his birthday today and witness his prowess with a trip into the Way Back Machine. You're in Largo, Maryland...its 1982. You left a Heineken pyramid and your 13 year old passed out girlfriend in the parking lot, you've got your aquamarine parachute pants on...you've just smoked up and now its on to the show......!
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