Get In The Van

I'm Back. My head is no longer tilted left and pasted to a bus window, my winter hat is no longer pulled over my face to repel the suns rays and I am here processing the events that went down this past weekend. Rock is good to those who wait apparently. I was offered the position after an intense but fun audition in a smoke and poster filled practice space in Boston. I was maybe 70 percent, not warmed up at all, but the voice came through and so did the desire. I had to dig deep after a long haul on two buses while entrenched in semi sickness but there was obviously a nugget or two of rocksinger lodged in my duodenum somewhere. I was able to purge it into my psyche, clench my rock fists while channeling Fred Mercury meets Joe Elliott and sing the songs of Bang Camaro. I will be one of six excellent vocalists.

I cannot say enough about the boys in the band, and there are many of them. They were hospitable, helpful and full of hell fire. They are a bunch of pros and it was a thrill to hang with them and shoot rock shit.

The details aren't anywhere near worked out yet, but a tour starts in mid march in NYC. I'll let you know.



The Oscars were a thrill, I guess. A very light in the loafers grab your Playbill and sashay sort of thrill. Apparently the musical is back, because gay men in the UK bought a shitload of tickets to Mamma Mia and because the tweens and the inbetweens (NY and LA)love them some High School Musical and Dancing With the Stars. The rest of us had to force ourselves through swishy dance numbers by Hugh Jack a Man and Beyounce....another awards show with Beyounce trotted out like the equine vocal gymnast that she is. Yet another awards show with Beyounce..we will never be spared, will we? And lets face it, it was hard seeing Wolverine doing a Tommy Tune soft shoe. I was hoping a claw would pop out and deflate one of Ms. Bootylicious' hamhocks.

I was happy to see Sean Penn win. Sean Penn pulling off a gay icon is like watching the red sea part and finding him surfing on its swell. I picked him in a slight edge over Mickey Rourke because his face doesn't look like a piece of ruddy plastic and he happens to be the best actor of our time. And I bet you'd never see him bawling over a rat dog in public. But welcome back to Mickey. I see lots of action movies in his future, simply because despite his immense talent, it's like looking at medusa with a face lift. He'll simply be a leading man with a mask or helmet on. They'll make it work. Kudos as well to Kate Winslet who won for the Reader, but really won for the mistakes the academy made by overlooking her in the past. Hell, she should have won for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind but Nazis get more press so she took it home this year. Hottest nazi I've ever seen by the way. Heil hotness!

Slumdog Millionaire was the best movie of the year in a feel good garbage- in- the streets- rags- to -riches lovey dovey sort of way and Danny Boyle was the best director and it was no surprise to see them both win their Oscars. There were ultimately no upsets at the Oscars this year unless you were upset with the inclusion of Queen Latifah any time, any where, Penelope Cruz's barely there English, or Sophia Loren looking like a 70 year old drag queen with a spray tan. Ben Stiller needs to take a break from movies as well...a good year long break where we wont be subject to his ironic frustrated guy dull comedy.

Thats my opinion. I'm sticking to it.