My wife says I'm Mr. Negative. I say I'm Mr. glass-half-empty, but I drank the first half and it was grain alcohol or absynthe. It really depends on the day..the music news headlines, if somebody is texting while driving in the fast lane in front of me..or...you know, normal every day piss me off stuff. So I never know what I'm gonna get. But I've never been in a physical altercation in my life(except for that time my Dad chased me around the front yard after my killer toga party), never been in a real time shouting match, hell I never even got detention or a speeding ticket.
So where does it come from? This so called "negativity"
.
Is it anger or just good old frustration or NEITHER....I mean this place is called CIRCLE OF FITS!! But is my "negativity" turning away readers? Hell I just want to talk to more people whether you agree with me here or not.
I am an artist, lazy, tri-polar... sometimes suffering...but not angry, I used to write lyrics that one would deem angry, but it was the 90s and it was a real blood boiling , frantic nomadic-flannel frocked- find myself time in my life. I might still be on that journey a decade and a half later.
I used to think that I had taken so many hard hits in my 20s that I was entitled to feel angry...but is that the origin? No.
I had a great childhood..two great parents back in the day. They can't stand each other now, but were caring, focused parents who allowed for creative expression, were not overbearing, didn't force us into clubs or over activity or sports and maybe gave us too MUCH freedom BACK THEN. Is my childhood the origin? How could it be? Nothing bad really happened (except for the time my friend Brian cracked his head open in my yard and I ran away after watching his arterial spray cover my kitchen floor as my MOM held a towel over it.) I assume Brian is fine, now. He was 7 then.
No, I don't believe it. I don't think I'm negative. Here's what I think:
I prefer to think of myself as a critic...a life long critic of everything from fashion choices,relationship choices, lifestyle choices, religious choices to art,poetry,humor, music and film.
I am a critic not because I am an expert or all white bread and bourgeois ..I am a critic because of a blurry concoction of MY OWN bad choices, my membership in a wild array of different groups of peers during formative years and my tight grip on common sense after years of never seeing the value of it. And I love me some music and some writing! It might be as delicately simple as that.
If I am negative here as well as everywhere else..I guess its because I can hide behind this keyboard and continue to complain...err critique music, life and a life of music. As a matter of fact, it energizes me...it makes me feel POSITIVE.
I don't really know what I was trying to convey with this post...but I sure feel good now. Have a great day!
Tomorrow.... A list of Albums that really suck no matter what the critics say...
Seano, I really enjoy reading your rants if that is what they are. You have a unique way of looking at things and I believe you have a gift for critiquing music especially. Not that i always agree with you but you definitely have a passion for this blogging thing. Thanks for giving us your all in every blog entry. Wish i could meet you in person some day and talk about the rotten weather or sumthin.
ReplyDeleteDan, you made my whole schpiel today worthwhile. I can only be me and try to connect any way I can. Even if you disagree with me from time to time, it matters not nearly as much as the conversations and introspection that may spring from it...thank you, Seano
ReplyDeleteThe "Up With People" view of life only works for those who have been lobotomized. Most folks have had the figurative version of this procedure by shutting down all thought process and succumbing to bad music/ television/movies, etc. For most, it's the easy road and doesn't require much effort.
ReplyDeleteEach to their own, even if it is mediocre.
It is not negative to evaluate your world, question things that don't make sense and make solid choices about what you put into your brain. Critical thought is the magic key that has opened thousands of doors over time.
The problem is that not enough people practice it.
So carry on. It's not negativity, it's just a brain in motion. I always prefer to read the jottings of those that really care about their subject matter.
Sean, thanks, as always, for the kismet in sentiment. BTW, I am really enjoying the Beatles dissection on POD..got a hearty guffaw out of Rabbi Soul.......Have you read Here There and Everywhere by Geoff Emerick? I'm only halfway through, but what a fascinating read from one of 2 people who were there in the studio for everything.
ReplyDeleteFirst off I have to say I just sent you an email PRIOR to reading this post, the post did not inspire the mail.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I like what Dan and Sean said and agree with both of them. This is one blog I will always read every SINGLE word of and always feel disappointed to reach the end because I am always entertained or provoked.
I think most people lean toward being a bit more negative than they let on, we tend to put on this "positive attitude" that kind of makes me sick at times cause its so obviously fake. You tell it like you see it. I love to rant all my negative thoughs out on my blog too but usually get all these well intended responses trying to "cheer me up" - but like you just writing it all out cheers me up just fine and I move to the next thing. I admit to be a half glass full kinda gal, that's just how I am. Not proud of it, but not ashamed of it either.
I think the goodness in a person's heart counts way more than how they see "the glass".
Thank you, sir. Geoff Emerick's book should be required reading for anyone who sits behind a console for a living. I am tackling Revolver next and this is exactly where he came into the picture.
ReplyDeleteRabbi Saul was one of the first bootlegs I ever picked up. The first wave of "pirates" had a sharp sense of humor. "The Beatles vs. Don Ho" was another screamingly funny example.