The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

The lack of beer on the premises and the shooting pain down the back of my neck sure make a blogger surly.
Crank City,man.
Corn Flakes done been pissed in.
All bunged up with no place to go. 
Powder Keg with a wet wick, I am.
Yet in the world that turns on a spit above flames around me...there is so much to look forward to and think about...Like:
I just read an article that sitting too much may lead to cancer...

Lilith Fair is returning..maybe Ellen can host that too w/hecklers yelling "Closer to Fine!!" instead of "Freebird!!"

In Massachussetts, they now have a new excuse to hunt for witches..errr voters.

Yoko Ono is putting the Plastic Ono Band back together...that's a great idea...nothing missing there....

Joe Perry is a restless idiot who should make that shitty hot sauce of his taste better than burnt leather rather than "audition new singers for Aerosmith". Go sit on your pile of money and noodle the blues until that hip heals, Joe.

Beyonce farts Black Eyed Peas and gets nominated for a Grammy......

Ronnie James Dio still has cancer and  Vampire Weekend are healthy with a #1 album.....

Peter Gabriel's so busy being dull, irrelevant and solipsistic that he wont join Genesis at their RRHOF induction..

There are millions of  lemmings in connection cities who don't know what comedy is that made the Tonight Show's ratings so high when Jay was there.....who laugh when a cow moos or a kitten jumps.

What the fuck is "fist bumping" doing in my universe......

Nobody is taking "Pants on the Ground" seriously...we're tired of seeing your whole underwear-ed ass hanging out while you walk, you dumb thugz...it does make it easier for the police to catch you,though...

I heard a U2 song about heroin addiction used for a Nascar ad...those ad guys don't read lyrics and those U2 guys don't care...Next up they'll use "Beautiful Day" for a Donate to Haiti  Red Cross commercial.

There's an empty head named Kardashian on every magazine cover but nobody knows who Carey Mulligan or Saoirse Ronan are...

and finally, a federal judge reduced a fine levied on an "illegal downloader" by the RIAA from 1.92 million to 54,000 dollars. Meanwhile...ringtone sales keep going up with killer songs like "Kiss Me Thru the Phone" by the genius known as Soulja Boy....but stop downloading, kids!