This morning as I perused the headlines provided by my fellow rock bloggers, I came upon an announcement by Bad Company of an imminent mini reunion tour in the UK coming in 2010... thank you Nightwatcher's House of Rock for this news. Much to the chagrin of most of my friends, I happen to love Bad Company. Paul Rodgers has always been on a top 10 list of Fav Vocalists, and even though small city rock radio staples like "Can't Get Enough" and "Feel Like Makin' Love" have ended up litter on the dirty rock highway of my brain, I can dig deep and find other songs to sing in traffic. I have probably the best Paul Rodgers voice on my block, I think, but we've been here two years and I haven't met the neighbors yet.
Then my train of thought veered off to Pelham Bay or Brighton Beach distant reaches or "Christ,we're out of milk again" then somehow came back to Paul Rodgers again and I realized that I've NEVER seen him live...not with Free(I was, like 5), Bad Co., The Firm or Queen.
Which is an insanely roundabout way to come up with my Wishlist of Live Rock. A list of artists/bands/poseurs that I've never seen live and would surely like to before I'm drooling on my arm alone in the dark hallway of a rest home, staring at the wall from my locked wheelchair, mumbling AC/DC lyrics.
The only "rule" I have with this list is that the artist must still be above ground and walking mostly upright. If he..she has to use a teleprompter, wear a colostomy bag or be held up by invisible wires, thats OK. Here goes:
1)Bad Company- no Paul with Queen, thank you. I'll keep my Freddy where I want him.
2) David Bowie-It will probably have to be at some Silicon Valley Corporate Event where they wire a couple million into his acct. He doesn't tour and he doesn't like the Hits.
3)Fleetwood Mac- Gotta see Stevie twirl those scarves, even if they're much larger now and she uses them primarily to hide her girth.
4) Jeff Beck- The closest thing to a living guitar God whom still roams the earth, besides..he never has a singer and it will be all notes, no banter and no Rod Stewart standards.
5) Big Star- Power pop was put on the map because of them, three of them are still alive and almost all of their songs are brilliant.
6) Lou Reed- One of the legendary curmudgeons of rock, who always has a great band when he tours. Even if he hates every member of the audience, I'd still go in hopes of hearing anything off of Berlin or Coney Island Baby.
7) Alice Cooper- For the shock, the origin of shock, the shock of the snake and guillotine, and the shock of a golf semi-pro in greasepaint belting out "Under My Wheels".
8) Danzig- The guy was in the Misfits! He's a hulky little elf with a punk/Elvis delivery. What's not to like?
9) Iron Maiden/ Judas Priest- The absolute tragedy of such a closet metal head as me not having seen these two giants is so comical, that I've lumped them together like 2 spikes on a wrist bracelet, in hopes of seeing them tour together and for the encore bring "Eddie" out in nothing but leather chaps riding a Harley.
10) Bruce Springsteen- I hated Bruce for years for no real reason except that the over perfumed cheerleader with a chirpy voice that sat next to me in drafting class in 8th grade was a fan...and that's not enough.
Honorable mentions: Prince,Ween, Van Morrison, Steely Dan, High On Fire, The Kinks, John Fogerty, Kraftwerk, Echo and the Bunnymen, Loverboy, Neko Case,The Pretenders, Blackmore's Night(never seen Richie), The Sex Pistols, Roxy Music, Slayer, Son Volt, Stevie Wonder, Dream Theater, Insane Clown Posse, High School Musical, R. Kelly and Wayne Newton.
Yes, I would like to see your lists as well. Thank you very much.....
Showing posts with label rock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rock. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Best/Worst Rock Girlfriends/Wives
Game 6 is on tonight..Here in Philly being a Yankee fan is about as fun as being gay in Maine...so I stay home and watch baseball here where I can pace in my living room. I think often about filling my mouth with leftover pumpkin seeds and chewing them up and spit throttling them all over my own personal "dugout" here, but it would be horrific to pick 'em out of the carpet after the 9th inning.
The camera often pans the crowd and, when at Yankee Stadium, a plethora of fair weather celebri-fans...like Kate Hudson, who happens to be greasing up A-Rods bat regularly these days, are shown in the stands wearing oversized Yankee gear and spewing out faux cheer. Makes me freakin' ill, it does. Boy she has really gotten around, hasn't she...which got me thinking, and inspired me to come up with today's list..The Best/Worst Rock Girlfriends/Wives(yeah, she's on there) . Not much where and why on this one....just the facts, ma'am.
BEST
5) Joan Baez/ Bob Dylan- Joan kept his folk in check and inspired some of his wordiest brilliance....everyone after her just made him cranky, made him find religion and made him mumble more.
4) Linda McCartney/Paul McCartney-For the most part, she kept Paul a family man, and they were only apart for one evening during their 20 plus years together..she was in his band and graciously accepted that her voice should be kept WAY Down in the mix....that's teamwork, THAT'S love.
3) June Carter/Johnny Cash- June, an accomplished singer and songwriter long before she was a cash.. took no mess, co- wrote "Ring of Fire" and then lived it through with Johnny...she also got him off drugs and booze and back to some of the most productive years of his life. He obviously could not live w/o her since they died 5 months apart in 2003.
2) Paulina Porizkova/Rik Ocasek- One of the most beautiful dames in her day...could have had ANYBODY and chose one of the most hideous men in rock...and she's still with him. Either he has a magic penis(I'm sure that's what "Magic " was about) or she has a heart of infinite measure.
1) Patti Boyd/ George Harrison/Eric Clapton- Patti Boyd has dumped a Beatle, had a fling with a Stone,broken up a couple marriages, sent guitarists into heroin fueled tailspins and was a major cause of pain for 2 of the greatest rock guys(maybe more)....BUT, name me ONE other rock wife/girlfriend with 2 of the greatest classic rock songs of all time written about her and several more just OK ones)...Lets see...Layla, Something, Wonderful Tonight, Bell Bottom Blues, For You Blue....Shit! Damn! Doesn't it make you want to see what she's got goin' on down there? I don't know about now..she's, like a grandma...but back then, she looked like this
WORST
5) Kate Hudson/Chris Robinson...and who knows who else. Kate falls in love like I change underwear, frequently and when things are no longer fresh. She's fickle..she probably caused Rich to hate Chris even more, named her son after a Grateful Dead song she probably never heard and she lays it down often for pretty much anyone(actors,musicians,ball players, pipe fitters, rickshaw drivers, eunuchs)...Kate, dear... less fucking, more acting, Kay?
4) Susan Silver/ Chris Cornell- Cornell's ex wife Susan used to manage Alice in Chains and Soundgarden and went bonkers soon after she and Chris split up....forcing the other Soundgarden members to conspire against Chris and refusing to give him his numerous guitars, two grammys, demo tapes and journals from the house they shared in Seattle. Lots of lawsuits drove Chris crazy enough to join Audioslave and befriend Timberland, thus making his legacy really soft in the middle.
3) Janna Lapidus/SRV- Janna was Stevie's girlfriend in 1990 and was so goddamn needy and co-dependant that she made him take a helicopter after a concert in Wisconsin to reunite with her in Chicago instead of taking the 2 and a half hour drive with his brother Jimmie....the rest is history.
2) Sharon Osbourne/Ozzy- Sharon needs a bigger house than the one she had last week and another full time hairdresser for her seventh dog so she keeps pushing Ozzy out the door and onto the stage and counts the money as he drools and tremors through "Mama I'm Coming Home" for the hundred millionth time.
1) Yoko/John- Was there any doubt that she would be my number one worst mate?...a billion people can't be wrong, if you think I am. If you read any Beatle's bio or history..which have varying accounts of the end/demise of the greatest band ever...there is ONE constant in all of them....and that's YOKO. She showed up in Abbey Road's Studio 3 in 1968 during the White Album sessions... and never left...the ONLY outsider ever to be allowed in(albeit by a strung out,disillusioned, angry, nervous John Lennon). If that didn't suck enough for the others, she started putting her "art school" two cents in....poor John...if he only could have come out of his anxiety ridden thought processes, he might have figured out that 1) Avant garde really means "too hip for the room". 2) Scream therapy wasn't going to bring his mother back 3) Yoko was NEVER a musician and his "Lost Weekend" should have started in 1968 and never ended.
Honorable mentions : Nancy Spungen/Sid, Tawny Kitaen/Coverdale, Erin Everly/Axl, Pamela Courson/Jim Morrison.
Boy I would love to hear your two cents worth. Let's hold hands and do a little of our own scream therapy.
The camera often pans the crowd and, when at Yankee Stadium, a plethora of fair weather celebri-fans...like Kate Hudson, who happens to be greasing up A-Rods bat regularly these days, are shown in the stands wearing oversized Yankee gear and spewing out faux cheer. Makes me freakin' ill, it does. Boy she has really gotten around, hasn't she...which got me thinking, and inspired me to come up with today's list..The Best/Worst Rock Girlfriends/Wives(yeah, she's on there) . Not much where and why on this one....just the facts, ma'am.
BEST
5) Joan Baez/ Bob Dylan- Joan kept his folk in check and inspired some of his wordiest brilliance....everyone after her just made him cranky, made him find religion and made him mumble more.
4) Linda McCartney/Paul McCartney-For the most part, she kept Paul a family man, and they were only apart for one evening during their 20 plus years together..she was in his band and graciously accepted that her voice should be kept WAY Down in the mix....that's teamwork, THAT'S love.
3) June Carter/Johnny Cash- June, an accomplished singer and songwriter long before she was a cash.. took no mess, co- wrote "Ring of Fire" and then lived it through with Johnny...she also got him off drugs and booze and back to some of the most productive years of his life. He obviously could not live w/o her since they died 5 months apart in 2003.
2) Paulina Porizkova/Rik Ocasek- One of the most beautiful dames in her day...could have had ANYBODY and chose one of the most hideous men in rock...and she's still with him. Either he has a magic penis(I'm sure that's what "Magic " was about) or she has a heart of infinite measure.
1) Patti Boyd/ George Harrison/Eric Clapton- Patti Boyd has dumped a Beatle, had a fling with a Stone,broken up a couple marriages, sent guitarists into heroin fueled tailspins and was a major cause of pain for 2 of the greatest rock guys(maybe more)....BUT, name me ONE other rock wife/girlfriend with 2 of the greatest classic rock songs of all time written about her and several more just OK ones)...Lets see...Layla, Something, Wonderful Tonight, Bell Bottom Blues, For You Blue....Shit! Damn! Doesn't it make you want to see what she's got goin' on down there? I don't know about now..she's, like a grandma...but back then, she looked like this
WORST
5) Kate Hudson/Chris Robinson...and who knows who else. Kate falls in love like I change underwear, frequently and when things are no longer fresh. She's fickle..she probably caused Rich to hate Chris even more, named her son after a Grateful Dead song she probably never heard and she lays it down often for pretty much anyone(actors,musicians,ball players, pipe fitters, rickshaw drivers, eunuchs)...Kate, dear... less fucking, more acting, Kay?
4) Susan Silver/ Chris Cornell- Cornell's ex wife Susan used to manage Alice in Chains and Soundgarden and went bonkers soon after she and Chris split up....forcing the other Soundgarden members to conspire against Chris and refusing to give him his numerous guitars, two grammys, demo tapes and journals from the house they shared in Seattle. Lots of lawsuits drove Chris crazy enough to join Audioslave and befriend Timberland, thus making his legacy really soft in the middle.
3) Janna Lapidus/SRV- Janna was Stevie's girlfriend in 1990 and was so goddamn needy and co-dependant that she made him take a helicopter after a concert in Wisconsin to reunite with her in Chicago instead of taking the 2 and a half hour drive with his brother Jimmie....the rest is history.
2) Sharon Osbourne/Ozzy- Sharon needs a bigger house than the one she had last week and another full time hairdresser for her seventh dog so she keeps pushing Ozzy out the door and onto the stage and counts the money as he drools and tremors through "Mama I'm Coming Home" for the hundred millionth time.
1) Yoko/John- Was there any doubt that she would be my number one worst mate?...a billion people can't be wrong, if you think I am. If you read any Beatle's bio or history..which have varying accounts of the end/demise of the greatest band ever...there is ONE constant in all of them....and that's YOKO. She showed up in Abbey Road's Studio 3 in 1968 during the White Album sessions... and never left...the ONLY outsider ever to be allowed in(albeit by a strung out,disillusioned, angry, nervous John Lennon). If that didn't suck enough for the others, she started putting her "art school" two cents in....poor John...if he only could have come out of his anxiety ridden thought processes, he might have figured out that 1) Avant garde really means "too hip for the room". 2) Scream therapy wasn't going to bring his mother back 3) Yoko was NEVER a musician and his "Lost Weekend" should have started in 1968 and never ended.
Honorable mentions : Nancy Spungen/Sid, Tawny Kitaen/Coverdale, Erin Everly/Axl, Pamela Courson/Jim Morrison.
Boy I would love to hear your two cents worth. Let's hold hands and do a little of our own scream therapy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)