Bands With Terrible Hair

Randomizing!

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 I will return to serious rock journalism soon, I promise. I'll have reviews of  new or recent releases from Danzig, Night Horse, Dead Confederate, Early Man and Alain Johannes. I'm researching  material for an interesting list of the Top 15 secret weapons(band members) of rock. 

But see, we're all still on summer vacation, with one week remaining before we go back to  rock school so lets stay silly for a short time more, maybe put the kids to bed early with a little benadryl in their ice cream, invite some friends over for some beer bong contests in your living room while you watch The Song Remains The Same for the 7,000,000th time, repeating the Bonzo drum solo over and over.

From Buzzfeed.com,  I found this awesome article on  Bands With Terrible Hair. Unlike A Flock of Seagulls, The Plasmatics and Kajagoogoo, these kids have No Talent Whatsoever. I bet they all have stylists, though.  I bet the thought balloon straight from the mind of the stylist goes something like this...."Hmm, I think we'll do a smidge of windblown skaterat, add a little half gelled mulletude and some goth dutchboy meets dull scissors...then go roll in a dumpster and viola!"

  Every band on the sensitive faux-screamo side of Warped Tour....below for your pleasure.

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  1. Blood On The Dance Floor

  (www.myspace.com/bloodonthedancefloor)
  
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  2. Breathe Carolina

  (www.myspace.com/breathecarolina)
  
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  3. Black Veil Brides

  (www.myspace.com/blackveilbrides )
  
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  4. Bring Me The Horizon

  (www.myspace.com/bmth)
  
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  5. Brokencyde

  (www.myspace.com/brokencyde)
  
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  6. Confide

  (www.myspace.com/confide)
  
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  7. Dot Dot Curve

  (www.myspace.com/dotdotcurve)
  
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  8. Escape The Fate

  (www.myspace.com/escapethefate)
  
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  9. Family Force Five

  (www.myspace.com/familyforce5 )
  
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  10. Handshakes And High Fives

  (www.myspace.com/handshakesandhighfives)
  
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  11. Medic Droid

  (www.myspace.com/themedicdroid)
  
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  12. Scene Kidz

  (http://www.myspace.com/scenekidzfolife)
  
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  13. Forever The Sickest Kids

  (www.myspace.com/foreverthesickestkids)
  
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  14. The Cab

  (www.myspace.com/thecab )
  
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  15. The Maine

  (www.myspace.com/themaine )
  
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  16. The Devil Wears Prada

  (www.myspace.com/tdwp )
  
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  17. Tokio Hotel

  ( www.myspace.com/tokiohotel )
  
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  18. Never Shout Never

  Christopher Drew may fly solo, but his horrendous hairdo makes him list worthy! (www.myspace.com/nevershoutnever )
  
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  19. Stereo Skyline

  (www.myspace.com/stereoskyline )
  

John's John

From the Guardian UK:

 

John Lennon's loo fetches £9,500 at auction for Beatles fans

 

 

The porcelain toilet from Tittenhurst Park, Lennon's Berkshire home between 1969 and 1972, was sold for £9,500 at auction. 

 

A porcelain lavatory which John Lennon told a builder to use as a "plant pot" has fetched £9,500 – nearly 10 times its guide price – at an auction today.
The loo was used by the music legend when he lived at Tittenhurst Park in Berkshire between 1969 and 1972.
Lennon told builder John Hancock to keep it and "use it as a plant pot", after he installed a new one.
The toilet was stored in a shed at Mr Hancock's home for 40 years until he died recently.
It was expected to fetch only £1,000 at the auction at the 33rd annual Beatles Convention in Liverpool today. But an overseas investor forked out £9,500 for it.
Auction organiser and Beatles expert Stephen Bailey said: "It is unbelievable. We had bids coming in from all over the place but it went to a private overseas buyer."
The loo was among the highlights of the auction of Beatles memorabilia.

Also up for grabs was a rare mono-sound copy of Two Virgins, which Lennon recorded with wife Yoko Ono. It was expected to fetch at least £2,500.
When the LP was released in November 1968, it was sold in brown paper bags as the sleeve controversially featured a naked picture of the famous couple.
A limited release of 5,000 stereo versions of the album were available in shops, but fans had to write to the record label to purchase a mono copy of the record.
The exact number of mono copies sold is unknown. However, organisers say it is likely to be as few as a "couple of hundred".

What is it with memorabilia hounds and toilets? Is it just one guy who is a wackjob combo of scatologist/celeb stalker who is buying these and plans on building a museum ?

Was he the guy hiding in the brush behind Jerry Garcia's house in Northern CA that day that an old toilet was brought to the curb and "mysteriously vanished" less than an hour later.? (sung to the tune of "Roll away..the Loo")

Has he been forcibly removed from Graceland more than once for sneaking past the velvet ropes and zebra print wallpaper armed with a camera and trying to get a shot of the "Holy Grail" of johns....the one on which Elvis pushed out a peanut butter and banana doody too fast and  too hard and blew out a vein in his neck , breathing his last breath in Aug of '77?


I know there's a list of celebrity toilets sold at auction or stolen somewhere...anyone wanna send me a link?


Please don't poo-poo this request. I'm a serious rock journalist and I need to get to the bottom of this....

Also,  Brits, help a brother out...How much is 9500 pounds in US greenbacks.?

Ozzy vs. Snooki

I love Ozzy. This is one of the video spoofs running on the screens at his concerts. Ozzy does the Jersey Shore. The Prince of Darkness looks so pale next to all of those glossy orange nudniks. I was hoping he'd spit bat blood all over Snooki's  high hair, or take her over his knees and spank her with brass knuckles....Crazy...but that's how it goes.

VH1's Top 100 Artists of All Time

I love me some lists! I especially love music related lists with huge glaring errors! I will expose said errors to the world with the hopes of angry mobs forming around certain "artists" falsely represented on this list. These angry mobs will be dispatched via a subliminal power chord emanating at ultra low frequency from this website and will be activated when clicked upon.

Here is VH1's list of the Top 100 artists of all time. Soon to be a special airing right after Dad Camp and right before Ochocinco. Apparently, it was voted on by a large group of musicians such as Darryl Hall, Rob Halford and P Diddy...for the record, I just sharted.


Ok listen for the subliminal power chord......settle in and then join your mob and disperse to find Justin Timberlake and Coldplay. Who should never even be on a best of ANYTHING list except maybe" Best Attempt of Growing Facial Hair to Look Less Feminine."


"VH1's 100 Greatest Artists of All Time" List:
TOP 5, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER
1. The Beatles
2. Bob Dylan
3. Michael Jackson
4. Led Zeppelin
5. Rolling Stones
NUMBER 6 – 11, RANKED
6. Jimi Hendrix
7. Prince
8. Elvis Presley
9. James Brown
10. Stevie Wonder
11. Bob Marley
12. David Bowie
13. The Who
14. Nirvana
15. The Beach Boys
16. Madonna
17. Queen
18. Pink Floyd
19. U2
20. Marvin Gaye
21. Bruce Springsteen
22. The Clash
23. AC/DC
24. The Velvet Underground
25. Chuck Berry
26. Neil Young
27. Aretha Franklin
28. Elton John
29. Radiohead
30. Aerosmith
31. John Lennon
32. Black Sabbath
33. Guns N' Roses
34. Tina Turner
35. Johnny Cash
36. Paul McCartney
37. Fleetwood Mac
38. Sly & The Family Stone
39. The Kinks
40. The Police
41. Van Halen
42. Metallica
43. Ray Charles
44. Joni Mitchell
45. Al Green
46. Ramones
47. Jay-Z
48. Rage Against The Machine
49. Parliament-Funkadelic
50. Sade
51. Billy Joel
52. Beyonce
53. Little Richard
54. Public Enemy
55. Peter Gabriel
56. KISS
57. Iggy & The Stooges
58. Cheap Trick
59. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
60. Whitney Houston
61. Cream
62. Genesis
63. Notorious B.I.G.
64. Talking Heads
65. The Doors
66. Justin Timberlake
67. Coldplay
68. Otis Redding
69. Tupac Shakur
70. Def Leppard
71. R.E.M.
72. Janis Joplin
73. Van Morrison
74. The Cure
75. Rush
76. Run-D.M.C.
77. Lynyrd Skynyrd
78. Judas Priest
79. Eminem
80. Mary J. Blige
81. ABBA
82. Steely Dan
83. Earth, Wind and Fire
84. Curtis Mayfield
85. The Band
86. N.W.A.
87. George Michael
88. Bee Gees
89. Beastie Boys
90. Elvis Costello
91. Green Day
92. LL Cool J
93. Pearl Jam
94. Mariah Carey
95. OutKast
96. Journey
97. Pretenders
98. Depeche Mode
99. Hall & Oates
100. Alicia Keys
  
I really don't have a problem with the top 40(..I would have switched a few,(see comments below) but it looks OK to me.




Ok listen for the subliminal power chord......settle in and then join your mob and disperse(armed with molotov cocktails and balloons full of Vaseline) to find Justin Timberlake and Coldplay. Look inside nail salons, naked yoga classes and organic cooking classes everywhere.

These pampered assclowns should never even be on a best of ANYTHING list except maybe" Best Attempt of Growing Facial Hair to Look Less Feminine."


To have Mr. Timberlake ahead of the likes of Janis Joplin, Van Morrison, even Steely Dan is preposterous.
To Have Coldplay(who sound like a bad Radiohead cover band whose lead singer has chronic post nasal drip) ahead of the likes of Otis Redding, Rush and Lynyrd Skynyrd is criminal....


Get those teeth ready to clench Rocker Girls...because Beyounce, Mary J Blige and Mariah Carey are all ahead of The Pretenders...even though they never wrote a note of original music.
Beyounce is also wayyy ahead of The Doors, The Stooges, The Band and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. You can find her on a yacht on most days of the year. Mob, feel free to fire bomb it from the dock.

I don't deny Madonna's talent and influence , but she would hover around the low 80s if I was the List King, not AHEAD of Queen, Marvin Gaye, Bruce Springsteen and the friggin' Clash. Shit, she's ahead of Aretha Franklin.!!!!! Aretha should be the highest ranking female. Nuff Said. Un -arguable.


I don't think the Velvet Underground belongs ahead of Neil Young or Elton John or JOHN LENNON....cmon now..and I love Lou Reed, really I do. ..just listened to Berlin 2 days ago.


Let's talk AC/DC...I love them from '76-'82.....just fantastic transitioning from Bon to Brian....since then.....Feh. They're superstars, extremely influential, but for fuck's sake they should not be ahead of Johnny or Joni....not now, not ever.


Kiss are Con Artists...not great artists...not even artists. Not much separating them from Insane Clown Posse except a genre, 2 members and 75 pounds.
Rage Against the Machine....sort of a one trick pony with a horribly overrated guitarist.
Sade??? With 2 hits?   Alicia Keyes? with ONE?
LL Cool J???????   Doesn't he spend most of his time doing sit ups and sit coms?


Bob Dylan is still a legend, an American Treasure...but he's sounded like he's singing through a cancer kazoo since '95 and he..and that pharmacologist Michael jackson should never be placed in front of the Stones.


The Beatles....yesterday, today and forever number one.


What do you think?   Who is missing?

"There's One For You, Nineteen for Me"

Thank you to ALL of the new visitors to Circle of Fits and for your continued words of support AND dissent. I have enjoyed them both equally.

The press/attention has been shocking and awe-ing me and my crack staff. The people who run my fan club, my PR guy, my masseuse, lifecoach and my accountant have been overworked these last few days due to the extended interest in questions and answers stemming from the Philadelphia Citypaper article that mentions Circle of Fits and which spotlights the city's plan to tax bloggers.

There is a chance this site/blog/business may go to an Initial Public Offering in the next few days, right after I split up my three ply toilet paper into 3 separate rolls, buy my latest round of Ramen in bulk, and turn my socks inside out for a fourth go round.

Until then, be sure to click on the ads that offer up training to become an AVON representative in the right and left columns of this blog.  I'm sure all of my readers, who are mostly made up of cranky, basement- dwelling third rate karaoke contestants.....have already.