McCartney/Meaghan- Riding the Rides

I went to see Paul McCartney on Saturday.  Monday was the second anniversary of my sister's death. This is what I call an emotional roller coaster. I could compare it to a ride at a Six Flags in purgatory. The ride is one where.. well,.you stand in line with all of the other fans, clutching tickets you've been mentally preparing yourself for your entire life, fun beyond compare.  goose flesh rolling in waves from your arms to the back of your neck... sandwiched between jubilation and fear....

The ride is all you never expected it to be...and more.  There were high peaks, greased wheels squealing over the rails.....(never heard the song Here Today before, about John, chillingly beautiful, written soon after his death...I demand you find it yourselves...it is on the Tug of War album from 1982....never expected A Day in the Life or Something, both poignant, and compelling almost to the point of being overwhelming and sung perfectly.)

There were curves where you expected to feel the wheels release from the rail as you swerved on through..  LET ME ROLL IT !!!...THE TWO OF US!..did not expect so many Wings songs to have impressed me as they did. Did not ever expect to hear Ram On from the second solo album.... Rock Show/Venus and Mars opened the show and set the charges... Now I have everything Wings ever did. My Love was a tough one to get through for very specific reasons, yet it's still a lovely, lovely song.... never again will I write off anything Macca  post Beatles.The Pics I took will be posted soon.....I had the smallest lens of the entire press line..but it mattered not...the pictures I have behind my eyes leave a historic stamp on my time here on earth.

 For the second part of the ride..there was an abundance of coasting....on Sunday, in anticipation of an awful anniversary which will never get any easier....thoughts of all of the snapshots of joy , the joy I volleyed in my head so easily in the company of a Beatle...the simple joy of being alive and experiencing that which makes one as close to happy as they have ever experienced....was taken for granted, a short lived dream , I awake in a sea of sweat, the hours are jumbled, those Saturday snapshots were lost in the undertow of darkness that can so easily pull me under.

Monday....my sister is two years gone...the ride reaches its final turn before returning to the start...to transport so many others closer to their dreams of exhilaration, release and the unknown....the smell of the pull brake the oncoming tunnel, people with their hands up, screaming in the dark....and then day?, light..a coast to a stop...for everyone but me. I pull away in reverse, ride alone to relive that last tunnel over and over, screaming..while she is ahead of me lost in her search for the light. I chase her, begging her to take another ride with me, one or two cars ahead... she will always be one or two cars ahead....