Thursday, December 02, 2010

Seano Returns, Armed to the Teeth

Grammy Nominations.

Do we even care? Nobody's buying albums except country fans who happen to glance at a Sugarland cd during a WalMart run for adult diapers or tractor oil.

I don't care either. But I had to comment on Eminem and Katy Perry. Eminem gets !10! nominations including album of the year for his me aculpa woe is me record Recovery. A record with a a shitload of prescription regret and a slew of slightly less misogynistic rhymes than his last snappy batch of drivel. My son (he is 4) got caught singing that song "Love the way you Lie". He was punished and sent to his room 2 weeks ago and he's still there. I roll a hot dog under the door every so often, so don't worry about him.

Katy Perry has a beautiful face, great cans, a good voice and horrible, generic, over produced pop songs. Did I mention she's got great cans?  That's musician speak for HEADPHONES, ladies, so stop freaking out. She has absolutely no business being in any category unless they invent one for Cans of the Year.

On to the next debacle....

Take a look at these nominees for Album of the Year:

2. Album Of The Year

Award to the Artist(s) and to the Album Producer(s), Recording Engineer(s)/Mixer(s) & Mastering Engineer(s), if other than the artist.

The Suburbs

Arcade Fire
Arcade Fire & Markus Dravs, producers; Arcade Fire, Mark Lawson & Craig Silvey, engineers/mixers; Mark Lawson, mastering engineer
[Merge Records]


Kobe, Lil Wayne, Pink & Rihanna, featured artists; Alex Da Kid, Boi-1da, Nick Brongers, Dwayne "Supa Dups" Chin-Quee, DJ Khalil, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Jason Gilbert, Havoc, Emile Haynie, Jim Jonsin, Just Blaze, Magnedo7, Mr. Porter, Robert Reyes, Makeba Riddick & Script Shepherd, producers; Alex Da Kid, Dwayne "Supa Dups" Chin-Quee, Kal "Boogie" Dellaportas, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Mauricio "Veto" Iragorri, Just Blaze, Robert Marks, Alex Merzin, Matthew Samuels, Joe Strange, Mike Strange & Ryan West, engineers/mixers; Brian "Big Bass" Gardner, mastering engineer
[Aftermath/Shady Records/Interscope]

Need You Now

Lady Antebellum
Lady Antebellum & Paul Worley, producers; Clarke Schleicher, engineer/mixer; Andrew Mendelson, mastering engineer
[Capitol Records Nashville]

The Fame Monster

Lady Gaga
Beyoncé, featured artist; Ron Fair, Fernando Garibay, Tal Herzberg, Rodney Jerkins, Lady Gaga, RedOne, Teddy Riley & Space Cowboy, producers; Eelco Bakker, Christian Delano, Mike Donaldson, Paul Foley, Tal Herzberg, Rodney Jenkins, Hisashi Mizoguchi, Robert Orton, Dan Parry, Jack Joseph Puig, RedOne, Teddy Riley, Dave Russel, Johnny Severin, Space Cowboy, Mark Stent, Jonas Wetling & Frank Wolff, engineers/mixers; Gene Grimaldi, mastering engineer

Teenage Dream

Katy Perry
Snoop Dogg, featured artist; Ammo, Benny Blanco, Dr. Luke, Kuk Harrell, Max Martin, Stargate, C. "Tricky" Stewart, Sandy Vee & Greg Wells, producers; Steve Churchyard, Mikkel S. Eriksen, Serban Ghenea, John Hanes, Sam Holland, Jaycen-Joshua, Damien Lewis, Chris O'Ryan, Carlos Oyanedel, Paris, Phil Tan, Brain Thomas, Lewis Tozour, Miles Walker, Emily Wright & Andrew Wuepper, engineers/mixers; Brian Gardner, mastering engineer
[Capitol Records]

The difference between real artists and those that were "created" in a factory (in the genres of pop, Hip Hop and R&B) is right in front of you. The fakery is unbelievable. And the sheep continue to graze until they gorge, tip over and seize up in a vast field of mediocrity. Look at how many people are involved in the production of a stupid hit record. You cannot even keep track , can you? How preposterous it is to give one of these lone "artists" the award for ALBUM OF THE YEAR when they can't seem to sit down and write a "song" the good old fashioned way by strumming a guitar, sitting at a piano, fleshing out a lyric and piecing it together WITH THE MEMBERS OF YOUR BAND! They enlist whole armies of bit players, pro tool gurus, a guy who hits the auto tune button, hired guns and beat hoarders who lie, cheat lift, cut and paste these "albums" together.

Lets be honest. Lady Gaga is a 3rd rate pop star with a costume fetish and a face for radio. Although I am holding out for her tour with openers The Goo Goo Dolls and Kajagoogoo.

I don't even like the Arcade Fire and their asymmetric haircuts, but at least they did it themselves.

Here's another one of my favorite nominees:

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals
For established duos or groups, with vocals. Singles or Tracks only.

Don't Stop Believin' (Regionals Version)

Glee Cast
Track from: Journey To Regionals

That's Right.....GLEE, people. Best Pop Performance! OF A COVER! BY OVERLY EXCITABLE SACCHARINE SUCKING BROADWAY HACKS.  It's like Up with People fucked Saved by the Bell and Glee was their baby which they couldn't raise so they put it up for adoption.  put to music. its worse than Kidz Bop.

My Brain is going to bleed....long before they trot out JAY Z and Alicia Keys and these people:
Angela Hunte, Jane't "Jnay" Sewell-Ulepic & Shux, producers; Ken "Duro" Ifill, Gimel "Young Guru" Keaton & Ann Mincieli......

to accept the award for record of the year. Better make the stage bigger. Mr. Carter's ego is already larger than life, but his produce- a- posse will come up to collect n' reprahhhsent, y'all.

At least Neil Young and his latest offering "Le Noise" was nominated for Best Rock Album. Right next to the across- the- board, critically -agreed -upon- phoned- in yawner MOJO by TP and the Heartbreakers.

Neil is also up for Best Rock Song of the year for " Angry World" off of Le Noise, which he wrote all by himself. His song goes up against the awesome track "Tighten Up"- by the Black Keys..who can do more with two guys than Eminem does with his 30 person beat brigade.

The Grammys will be on tv on Feb 12 2011, usually the coldest day of the year. here is a link to the complete list of nominees:


  1. I saw 'Justin Bieber' and 'Mumford and Sons' placed in the same category for best new whatever of the year and then I puked in my mouth.

    There is not a single category's nominations that make ANY SENSE AT ALL.

    I could type for hours about everything that is wrong with the Grammys, but I'm sleepy and I need to stop looking at the nominations or I'll never fall asleep, I'll be too frustrated with the state of music and then I'll eventually jump out the window.


  2. I like Need You Now!

  3. I treat the Grammy's like radio - they're both something that used to really matter, but I could give a crap about now.

    However, what DOES matter are Katy Perry and her absolutely spectacular Cans, those get a standing ovation from me. Stupendous things those Cans.

    Can't wait for your top 2010 albums post - mine's pending.

  4. The only good side of the Grammys this year, is not only Neil Young has been nominated, so has Robert Plant, Eric Clapton, Stone Temple Pilots, Them Crooked Vultures, Iron Maiden, Soundgarden and Ozzy Osbourne.

  5. I think it is high time we music reviewing, can-loving bloggers put together our own alternative to the Grammys. How about it? All it would take would be a case of beer each and some late night blogging time. Its either this or put up with yet another shudderingly shitty awards show.