Monday, December 29, 2008

I Am Covered With Flames in Cover Band Hell

I really thought I was going to escape 2008 without another round of blunt force trauma to the head..after all there's only 2 days left,right? Well, folks I'm here to tell you that I just got cold cocked with a sock full of D Batteries..just 48 hours from watching that glittery turd drop in Times Square.
Lets go over the list shall we? In 2008...we settled in to a great new house that was a bit over our price range, I lost my job, wife loses hers,lethal headaches cripple any clear thought or progress, depression continues to fit snug around me like an iron lung, dear sister loses her fight with NON SMOKERS lung cancer, family cat dies of THE SAME THING, beloved son discovers the fine art of tantrums to the Nth power, the infighting and hatred between family members in my orbit has set us back decades..I cannot for the life of me find steady employment and now the cover band I was in with a promising future and a full calendar is "in limbo" and has decided to keep their psycho calzone- faced previous singer "for the time being".!!!!!

Un-fucking-believable. I bust my ass learning 30-40 songs that any right minded human without a spray on tan,text bruises on their thumbs and a choke chain would make money ....ONLY to make money(you think I WANNA sing My Own Worst Enemy by Lit?)...because I can sing really well. The only other things I do REALLY WELL is paint walls and complain...but I can SING better than I can do those things,surprisingly enough. Been doing it while panties get wet, eyes glaze over and arms get folded by the jaded musicians in the front row for OVER 20 years now.Its not rocket science...its ROCK-it science and I am a pundit, a preacher..a professor. I can convince you to give American Girl OR Brown Eyed Girl a second look I'm so good.
This is the 3rd time its happened. I audition, get the gig before I leave the building, start learning songs and gigging..and then the old singer creeps in like a Jersey Shore foot fungus...sees my vocal prowess and wants his fucking job back!!!!
This guy is a real doozy.I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with him once. He's a robust sack of potatoes who's sweating by the third number, MC-ing from the front with the oily banter of a DJ from the Bada Bing, and leaving the stage to do shots of Jameson with the audience MID SONG. When he sings its akin to the sound of a gaggle of lifelong frat boys cheering on another 40 something after the third Beer Bong, as their orange faced, bleached out house fraus look on... He yelps and guffaws real hot numbers like Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls or Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry and his Weeble head festers red like a turnip when he tried to hit any high note at all, sadly the note is never obtained and the song careens into a barrier, wrecked for affect, as the crowd, floating face down in an ocean of Coors Light, is oblivious.
They want to keep this guy??????!!!! I have to tell you I'm in the cover band capital of the never snows here, but everywhere I go I see flakes.
I've had enough of 2008. I've had enough of cover bands who cannot even get their third rate shit together and it looks like I'm gonna have to do it myself in 2009. That way I'll never have to sing Counting Blue Cars again.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Review: The Who at Kilburn 1977 (DVD)

I was thrilled to see this in the wet bundle of mail upon our re-entry into the semi normalcy of being home after a truly challenging Christmas. It was like Santa himself donned a big puffy union jack-et before he chucked it through my mail slot, poured another finger of whisky in his hot chocolate and sledded off.
I like DVDs. You can still get artwork and liner notes and sit down and read them in preparation for viewing. You might get extra scenes which in the case of this release, is an entire second DVD containing an important,albeit grainy and poorly lit Who show from 1969 where Tommy is performed in ins entirety! See it....Feeeel it!

But I digress....This show from December 1977 is important for a handful of reasons. First and foremost..its a Who show. There really was nothing like a Who show in the 70s....always caustic and cacauphonic. The band had not played a show in well over a year, cranky,rusty and buried deep in the recording process for the release of Who Are You(not to see the light until Aug.'78). They needed some live footage for The Kids Are Alright documentary being put together at the time,rented a Hall, set up some pro cameras and invited 1000 kids to this "surprise concert" not telling them they were just there to fill the seats for footage.
The surprise they got was Pete Townshend shuffling between grenade- without- a -pin stage banter and jack boot acrobatics. People, remember...punk had broke through in the UK in 1977 and Pete wasn't having any of it. At one point he challenges "there's a guitar up here if any big mouth little git wants to come take it off me." He complains to the director that this venture wasn't worth filming and Stein(the director)"better send the camera men home." The confrontation bristles with punkish energy and even flourishes when in mid solo, Pete pushes his HiWatt heads off of their cabinets in disgust and continues his run up the neck of good ole' Gibson 1.

What it truly is is a brilliant show...a testament to the glory of those monumental live rock shows from the 70s that The Who really put on the map. Its a blueprint for the gossamer frail indie bands of today(read: Fleet Foxes) to study before building any sort of plan for winning over an audience. Even on an "off night" The Who shake the earth. Pete windmills his sleeve right off of his shirt..cooling off the first three rows of crowd in the process. He high kicks mic stands during Won't Get Fooled Again and slides all over the stage in frustrated ecstasy, and ultimately triumphs. Roger is in top form, hitting the screams, bringing a heated harp portion to Baba O' Riley and belting out Townshend's angry young man lyrics with middle age prowess. We also get as an unmentioned bonus, the very first live take of Who Are You..having been fleshed out in the studio weeks prior to this filming. Nowadays, most folks think CSI, and not The Who when they hear this song on their trusty Tivos. It is live and real for the first time, here.

The focus for me and the reason to get your hands on this DVD are the antics, energy and legend that was Keith Moon. Keith shows up bloated, disheveled and in a purple jumper he probably borrowed from Doug Henning. And as rusty as he may have been in Pete's eyes and facial expressions.. there was no evidence laid in front of me here. Being an OK drummer myself, I have always been in awe of Keith's technique(or lack thereof) and how he always made it work within a blur of Toms,cymbals and extremities! Thats all here...and even Moon at 5/8ths of his speed is a drummer like no other. Just try to find that Hi-hat...I dare you. I did get a chill when during his typical introduction of Behind Blue Eyes he says "I'm gonna go backstage and OD and I'll see you in 3 and a half minutes." You see...this was Keith Moon's second to last show with the Who, and the only reason it wasn't his last is because Pete thought this show was bollocks and un-useable for the Kids documentary, and re- staged it at Shepperton Studios for the fan club soon after this one. That would explain all of the pictures in the DVD program, most which do not match the wardrobe of the Kilburn show...especially a pic of Roger in full suspenders, clearly an homage to Mork from Ork.

The Who at Kilburn Hall DVD is a must for any Who fan, for this glimpse of the snarl and the substance of a band at the tail end of their peak. It is a raw and flawed but enormous and influential look at a band as a lit powder keg before the loss of Keith Moon, the Cincinnati stampede and the synthesized years of Face Dances and Its Hard....see for yourself.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Seano's Top 10 Rock Albums of 2008

At the risk of sounding chock full of emptiness(Bah Humbugger off!) I will tell you that 2008 was the most challenging year of my life so far. The reasons have been volleyed around on this here blog from time to time..and your holidays are yours, mine are mine, so because you want to be festive, and I don't, I will not rehash the reasons.(Just know that the stench of the economy was barely on my radar) I decided to do a year end list of the best albums of 2008. But what I really should have called it is The Only Albums I Liked from 2008..(I'm a mean one, Mr. Grinch) need to number them for that reason...

Rose Hill Drive- Moon Is The New Earth This young power trio from Boulder, Co., led by the Sproul Bros...Jacob on Bass, great pipes and his brutha Daniel on guitars put rocking smidgens of everything into this album and it shows. A passionate hint of Queens of the Stone Age meets the Allman Brothers meets Big Star accompanied with rockworthy,melodic and clearly decipherable vocals. I had a chance to discover them at the Austin City Limits Music Fest while romancing the sweat,dust and Lone Star Beer in 2007 and they blew me away...So should they you?....Standout tracks: Laughing In the Streets, Trans Am.

Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds- Dig Lazarus Dig! I have a fairly famous relative who told me about Nick Cave Years ago as she worked with him way back in his Birthday Party days...I never caught on until now. Wow! I guess I'll have to go backwards with a fever for the flavor because this album schooled me...It challenges and thrills at the same time..his characters are desperate,depraved champions and I never failed to be kept upright and alert... mezmerised by his prolific sort of spoken out and half sung poetic and greasy grimy at the same time..and the Bad Seeds could be one of the most underrated back up bands ever.....Standout tracks: We Call Upon The Author,Dig Lazarus Dig.

Lindsey Buckingham- Gift of Screws- If there was any doubt in your mind that Lindsey Buckingham was in the top echelon of guitarists on this planet, this album will slap you silly and set you straight..and maybe send you back to that woodshed with your 3 chords and a prayer. The licks are delicious.. The production is flawless and the songs are much more cohesive and fun than anything off Go Insane or Out of the Cradle...and Lindsey can do what Lindsey wants here without getting any guff from the dinosaurs in the Mac. He's clearly letting loose and taking names and I was caught in the wake.. Standout tracks: Great Day, Wait For You.

Valient Thorr-Immortalizer- I'm into bad-ass bearded bands who can back it up with a blur of denim, epic riffs and melody. Welcome to my life Valient Thorr. I'm betting any one of these guys would punch me in the mouth for complimenting them, and then wear my tooth on a chain around their scarred viking neck. I love how everyone in the band has the surname Thorr(Think Ramones, not De Francos)and although Valient Himself(vocals, lyrics) can't really sing, I dig his lyrics to the point of wanting to carve them into something hard and immovable, like a column in the fortress of solitude or even a park bench.... I would cut the sleeves off of my denim jacket for these guys Standout Tracks: Tomorrow Police,1000 Winters in a Row.

Gutter Twins- Saturnalia- It was a dark and stormy night. There's a knock on the door and you see two stonefaced, sullen men, clothes soaked to the bone. You let them in and see that it's Mark Lanegan and Greg Dulli. Mark clears his throat, and in a voice that could send Beelzebub packing, asks " Got a cigarette?" As you pull one out and shakily place it in his mouth, he grumbles "Thanks". and with that, Greg pulls the door back and they shuffle off into the dark whirl of whipping thunder and rain. Thats how this album makes me feel. Sticks to you for days like rough storm residue. Standout tracks: Circle The Fringes,Who Will Lead Us, All Misery Flowers.

Howlin' Rain- Magnificent Fiend. Ethan Miller and his San Francisco cohorts continue to impress with every listen with this, their second release since Miller's exodus from space/psych rock geniuses Comets on Fire. It deviates between a wailing gospel rock call and response blues jam and a melodic folk rock but goin'-for-it vibe. I cannot believe I lived in San Francisco for 3 years and never got to see them, although the drummer for the Comets worked at Streetlight Records in my old 'hood and I never said a word to him. What was I gonna say anyway? " Great drumming, dude...err.. Love the way you hold your sticks! Hey... too bad Ethan left the band, bummer, huh? But at least you still have this job..Do you have the Bad Company box set by the way? " Standout tracks include Lord Have Mercy and Dancers At The End of Time.

Black Crowes- Warpaint- No it ain't no Southern Harmony..but its better than Lions(2001) and at least we still have them least one band can still get away with bell bottoms, right? And for almost 20 years give or take a few gaps. Chris Robinson has honed down his lyrics and reeled in his free formed vocal phrasing to set the Crowes back into an earned place among the great blues based rock bands to try and live up to Humble Pie or the Allmans. Its good to see Rich Robinson's back up vox wayyy back in the mix, too. Rich, my ears, thank you. You turned my frown upside down, man. Luther Dickinson from the North Mississippi All Stars takes over lead axe duties from the dearly departed Marc Ford...very different styles but he holds his own..Standout tracks include Evergreen and Movin' On Down the Line.

The Sword- Gods of the Earth- The Texas battleground- metal scene stealers return triumphant after their 2006 debut Age of Winters with a whiplash and crunching fury, sounding like clanging blades under tornado skies.This is frontline metal...charge ahead and slay,check chain-mail, apply bandages and repeat. Obviously influential, never shred shy...they have garnered fans from the likes of Dave Grohl to Metallica( for whom they have/will open some dates). Put on your armor while watching The Return of the King on mute and listen to To Take the Black or How Heavy this Axe.

Black Keys- Attack and Release- The Akron boys teamed up with the most popular nerd in school Danger Mouse and have never sounded better. Waves of spooky synth and subtle samples over Dirty, empty factory type blues. Lookin' for trouble with no regrets blues rock. No salvation, no worries. Its hard to believe that there are only two of them. Like the White Stripes only better, for their drummer has way more than one beat. Key tracks include I Got Mine, Psychotic Girl and Remember When (side A).

Last but not least...Radiohead- In Rainbows....yes, it came out in Oct 2007, I know. I was there on day one, stupid.I should have paid more than a penny,though. This release picked up a glow and really started to shine the way for me in early/throughout 2008. After Hail To the Thief and its unevenness,this one was really toiled over and it showed. Thom Yorke and the Greenwoods can really do no wrong. Their out-takes shine brighter and embed themselves deeper into ones steely veins and rusted heart(like mine) than most bands best efforts. House of Cards is truly a of those songs that truly transports you it or not it will sabotage your emotion and warp it wildly into what you truly need at that moment. This album sits nicely right behind Ok Computer and Kid A, taking the bronze medal position in their discography with songs like Videotape, Nude, Bodysnatchers and Weird Fishes(Arpeggi) Instant therapy.(not karma)for everyone involved...creator and listener.

HMs include lots of fading to black.... Black Ice-AC/DC, Black Mountain's latest In The Future and a suprisingly solid and very young metal band from Miami called Black Tide with a great singer/ guitarist by the name of Gabriel Garcia...remember that name..he's 16 YEARS OLD. I also loved Raising Sand by Allison Krauss/Robert Plant, and it also came out in 2007, so come after me with that, if you may. 2 absolute masters of their voices with superb songs and production by the very sought after T-Bone Burnett.

Here's to 2009 for one million and one reasons. Let the serious and steady rocking continue to guide you through your exploits and emergencies. See ya soon enough, Seano

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Top 3 X-mas videos

Billy Squier- Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You
What the hell happened to Billy Squier? What a festive sweater he's wearing! I can't focus, I'm hypnotized by it! Look at the late JJ Jackson in his overly snug Michael Jackson jacket? Look at Nina Blackwood..almost to be confused with Nina Hartley! Mullets and mistletoe! Handclaps and Hallelujahs! The eggnog was spiked heavily on the MTV soundstage that day...Its hard to believe that little minx Martha Quinn is at least 25 years older than she is in this video. How's that for your squashed holiday spirit...a bloated and graying Martha Quinn dropping cigarette ashes on your Xmas cookies as she tearfully reminisces.

Kinks-Father Christmas- I love this song...its too bad the video was betamaxed off of somebodys basement television screen after several large cups of peppermint schnapps in 1980 something. Well you get the gist....I always thought the xylophone mimicked the ones in the Bruce Springsteen rendition of Santa Claus is Coming to Town....give all the the little rich boys! I can just picture St. Nick running away from a belligerent Dave Davies looking for cold cash.

Bowie and Bing- Little Drummer Boy(Peace on Earth). Quite simply the best Xmas video of all time. This made me want to put glitter on a Cardigan and go carroling in rough neighborhoods, spreading good cheer and running for cover. I love it when Bing asks Bowie about any of the old favorites and Dave says he goes as far back as John Lennon and Harry Nillsson..Classic! They don't do variety shows like this anymore...I'd love to see an update with Lemmy and one of the twits from Fall Out Boy....peace on earth, indeed.

Honorable Mentions: John Lennon's Happy Xmas(war is over) which didn't make it because Yoko's chorus always made all of the glass ornaments on my tree shatter, and any song from Emmit Otter's Jug Band Christmas(Muppets).

Monday, December 15, 2008

Monday, December 08, 2008

Friday, December 05, 2008

Top 5 Worst "Rock" Logos

There are plenty of lists of Greatest Rock Logos all over the internet. Most of them have the Rolling Stones Lip Logo, The Ramones-"Presidential Seal" and good old AC/DC on stale, how boring. Why not just call the list what it is...Most Reproduced, Chewed Up and Spit Out Rock T-shirt Icon, or Things You'll See For Sale at Target....come on people, have a little fun. Fun is pokin' fun and thats what I'm gonna do right here with this list of the Top 5 Worst "Rock" logos. I love putting the word "worst" right after "Top 5"...its fun. Here are my top 5 cringeworthy, head tilting band logos for all 'y'all.

#5)Blink-182 - Doesn't this just Scream "Meet Me at the Orange Julius"? What a stretch..piece together some letters of different fonts and sizes and lift an idea or two from REAL FUCKING PUNKS the Sex Pistols...put it in perfect black and white to fit really rad on a 12 year old's skateboard like a perfectly marketed ad for mediocrity...and you have the Blink 182 logo. When I run out of things to hate about this band I'll quit this blog. So plan on having me around for the next 175 years.

#4)Dislimb- There were thousands of Death Metal/Grindcore/Speed Metal/Whatever Metal logos to choose from. But I chose the one that took me the longest to read/comprehend. I don't even know if Dislimb is a word...does it mean: to remove appendages gently while rocking a baby to sleep or campaigning for world peace and/or freeing Tibet? Who knows but this logo looks like Pig's blood or Karo Syrup flung against a wall from the high chair of young Beelzebub.

#3)Saliva- This logo makes me want to wash my hands..make a more focused effort to improve my hygiene..Tomorrow I will finally start flossing. These obviously disenfranchised and disillusioned (read:slow) boys from Tennessee decided to name their band after the stuff drool is made of...the stuff that oozes out of the corners of their mouths while in the VIP section of the hottest club in ladies with complete sets of teeth walk by in glittery skirts and bruised knees. This logo is west coast porn DVD cover font meets the dirty south.

#2)AFI- This pop punk meets suburban goth band from CA chose flattened dead bunnies to circle their logo. It looks like an overhead battleground shot from Watership Down. Why bunnies? Why did you have to remind me of the evil bunnies that beat up on the soft fluffy bunnies of the world? What the fuck does this have to do with AFI?

#1) Van Hagar- Yes, Van Halen- lite for those of you in the know. When Van Halen switched flowing from the perfect endless wave that was David Lee Roth to the dead puddle of dumpster juice that was Sammy Hagar they had to go and change the best rock logo of all time to some kind of planet hugging gilded tiara- looking thing that looks like one of Wonder Woman's rejected helmets, winning the "If It Ain't Broke" award every year from 1985-2008. Welcome back Diamond if you could just straighten out the V and the H for me(so many ways you can read that one.)

honorable mentions: any logo that a graphic designer got paid for and used an existing font like type face (see Cheap Trick)...or just bolded up the letters of the bands name and called it art (see Jet, The Smiths, Green Day...and countless others)........anyway I'd love to hear your takes if you've got 'em. Stay strong!

Monday, December 01, 2008

Top 5 Greatest Rock Logos

I saw this book the other day called Band ID. Its a book filled with Band Logos from all genres, categorized and displayed on the pages It also tells the story of the logo artists and how they came up with the logo. Of course I picked it up to browse through and it got me thinking of the greatest ROCK logos in my opinion. I'll do a top five with visual evidence here today and then tomorrow I'll do the top 5 WORST Rock Logos....anyway Check the book out. Again its called Band ID by Bodhi Oser. Above is a pic.. Now on to my top 5 from the bottom up.

#5 Bad Company-Bad Co. This logo emblazened in a sharp angle is on one of my faded but favorite original T-shirts found in a rock archeological dig at a place called the House of Guitars. The House of Guitars is a regionally famous and ONE OF A KIND music store in Rochester NY. The place is a wonderful disorganized mess with piles of vinyl and decades olds cassettes in boxes, a large white brick wall where many famous rockers have sharpied their names and the fabulous t-shirt corner where up until about 5 years ago no-one was allowed to venture without help from an employee. I was a regular many years ago(late 90s) and Greg (who worked the counter and is the leader of a fabulous band called the Chesterfield Kings) let me go back into the T-shirt corner. There were humongous piles of musty t-shirts and crowded dusty racks that had not been touched in YEARS. It is there that I found the original Bad Co. t-shirt from '76 along with a Stones Tattoo You tour shirt from '81.TREASURES! I also dug up a Police Zenyatta shirt but it had a huge undetermined stain on it.
Anyway this logo reads like it means!

#4)The Stooges logo- I love this logo because it reminds me of an era where there were no holds barred in punk/rock/punk and everything was dangerous on stage and in the audience. The sound of the Stooges was so fresh and alienating at the same could feel the spit or sweat hitting your face. You could feel the boot in your back or the blood in your mouth..and you were to flail around and lose your day in the distortion and the chaos.

#3 The Doors- This logo was practiced in my sleep..I traced as the dreams of shamans and leather trousers that I couldn't find anywhere in the suburbs filled my head. I had to get this logo just right for my Social Studies folder..or my English impress the ladies that I never spoke to." Hey look Marcie..I can draw the Doors logo that cool or what? Huh?... uhhh yeah, I guess I could draw The Duran Duran logo on yours if you wanted...or Bananarama, sure,whatever."

#2 The Who- If you want graphic design perfection..this is it. The arrow on the "O" pointing away from the "bullseye" center. The two "H"s connected in amnesty....Can't you just hear "People try to put us down..." or "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss" when you see this on the back of a denim jacket with the sleeves ripped off? Cant you just feel the rumble of the scooter beneath your seat as you ride through the stone streets of Brighton when you see this logo? I can....mission accomplished.

#1- Van Halen (from VH II)- We have come to the top of this brief list. I love this logo because when I see it I see energy shooting out of the sides and draining out of the bottom of the V and the H. I feel the purge of the overdriven fingers of Eddie Van Halen racing up and down around and through the neck of his Frankenstein Heaven was on fire and the only way he could put it out was by creating a gale force by playing faster. It lined my locker, my baseball jersey and the outer edge of my peripheral vision from 1981-1985. It is the top of the heap as far as rock logos are concerned.....AC DC, Iron Maiden..Judas Priest take your logos and put them on some faux vintage shirt for an Olsen Twin to wear. I'll take my VH!

Thanks for playin'! See you tomorrow or the next day with the top 5 WORST band logos.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


2008 has been the suckiest of years for my family so far...My dearest sister left us for much higher ground this past summer after a courageous but ultimately heartcrushing 2 and a half year battle. Our transition from west to east coast was plagued with seemingly neverending stress and patches of unemployment and fear. My brutal life stealing headaches had almost perfect attendance throughout the Spring and early Summer,with no real cause in sight. I have been wrapped in an airtight depression that comes and goes as it pleases.The economy,local flakes beyond the realms of flakiness and a reluctance to rely on a trade that has paid my bills for 20 years have kept me shakily employed.... Am I buggin' you...don't mean to bug you.

What comes next is the holidays...which for many families who have had a NORMAL year can be hellish, so you can imagine what we're up against. So what could I possibly be thankful for right about now?

I'm thankful for the memories of Meaghan and the light,love and warmth she brought to the table every day of her short life. I wait for it to inspire me more than it has.I wait for my psyche to allow that to happen. I hope to live in shadow of what she taught without even realizing it.

I'm thankful for the unconditional love of my wife...we have had mountains to climb this year...sometimes without the right tools..but we manage to find the space to laugh and love each other as much as we can. She is an inspiration every day.

I'm thankful for my 2 year old son Hudson who doesn't even realize what happiness he has shown me with his inquisitive spirit, his verbal prowess, his unbelievable memory and his unending charm. I love him with all of my heart and am thankful I have the purpose of being able to teach him what I know and believe in. I hope I serve him well and know that his world is normal and wondrous even if ours is not.

I'm thankful for my family, my parents especially for going above and beyond for Meaghan and her husband and kids in a year we would just as soon forget...but never will. I'm thankful for the guidance you give when I don't even seek it out. It is there like a treasure map for the shaken and grieving.

Of course I am thankful for my friends, especially my friend Tom this year..who has been like a brother to to share feelings of pain and doubt, and throw sarcasm around like nobody's business. Thank you for sharing the laughter..we need it now more than ever.

To all of my sister's friends..I am thankful to have shared so much with you..there is so much more to do....I hope you will join us.

I am also thankful I have this blog to spill out to, to recollect with, to paint opinions upon. Sometimes about music and sometimes about the life that goes on around and through my musical passions. It has been refreshing to return to my first love,writing, in the hopes that with practice(err, blogging) I will be back on course with the medium that has shaped me for all of these is important that I am always informing, entertaining, slaying with sarcasm while I write here...and if there comes a time when I am not..well maybe I'll quit while ahead and switch to macrame', rollerblading or professional speed eating....while there's still time.
Thanks to the readers I have never met and the new friends I have made on this thing called the make it fun. Its what I needed this year........

Happy Turkey Day to all who are out there...thankful for something.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

In Response to Rolling Stone Magazine

Rolling Stone magazine has just released another whopper of an issue. The 100 Greatest Singers Of All Time lines the cover this month. RS is famous for their lists. I'm pretty sure they've used this gimmick over 50 times just to stay afloat for the last 10 years. All of the nerdy, hipster Pitchfork critics have deemed RS irrelevant for quite some time now. All of those non-players cum wallflowers cum critics that hide behind their spectacles and hatred for melody..and SINGERS who actually sing. Anyway, I love lists and I'm a singer so I will let you find the entire list yourself(Google) and you can play along with me as I playfully dissect this with some hit points of my own.
The voters were an ok mix of old people who write, old people who play and young people who wish they could do both as good as those old folks. James Hetfield, Patrick Stump(Fall Out Boy), Merle Haggard,Jackson Browne, Jim James(My Morning Jacket) all voted.

They have Aretha at #1. No argument there..she can sing rock, gospel, pop, blues, R and B, and opera like no other and despite her insane daily caloric overdose, is still doing it. Kudos to the queen.
Ray Charles is #2. OK the guys a legend, but I just don't see him at #2. I see Elvis at #2(not #3).Elvis could knock any genre out of the park. Even with peanut putter and banana stuck to the roof of his mouth, he sounds better than Ray Charles. lets leave Ray Charles in the top 30 somewhere so anyone over age 50 doesn't bitch and moan.

Onward...Sam Cooke is #4(awesome voice,yes) but higher than Marvin Gaye at #6? No way. A bullet cut both of their lives short...but Marvin influenced millions in his short life, Sam Cooke influenced hundreds of thousands.
John Lennon is # 5 and Bob Dylan is #7. Two of the greatest SONGWRITERS of all time. Lennon wasn't even the best singer in the Beatles in my opinion(I'm a George guy)...and Paul (#11) was more versatile and had a more impressive range than John.
But BOB the top 10!!?? Cmon now..he has the most parodied voice of any musician ever.Tom Petty made a whole career out of it. Sure it changed over time from marbles meets protest to cigarettes meets sandpaper..but its not even top 100 worthy.
Robert Plant is in the top 20 at #15, so I can rest easy, but then they have Mick Jagger(#16) trumping FREDDY MERCURY at# 18. This is blasphemy. Mick Jagger is a showman, one of a kind voice,yes. But not anywhere near the sheer power,control, grace and flawlessness of Fred Mercury.(and all done with a horrible overbite!) Fred should be in the top 10 and its obvious that the geezer vote took over portions of this list with his placement behind Dylan and Jagger. Raise your Canes!

Another strange pick is Bob Marley at #19. That's right. Just behind Mr. Mercury. Bob Marley wasn't really a singer. he kind of shouted his way through storytelling in a ganja scorched rasp..(the I Threes did the singing)...but I guess RS has to smack us with a token reggae guy..although Toots from the Maytals is at # 71.

I think Janis Joplin at #28 and Tina Turner at #17 should switch places,so sue me.There will never be another Janis. Put the right wig on Beyonce and some fool will start calling her the next Tina. Again...there will never be another Janis.

Why is Whitney Houston(#34) above Joni Mitchell? Both of them have smoked their vocal nodes down to charred black lifeless nubs..but Joni has such more character than that gospel on PCP vox of Ms. Houston. BORING.

In the "switch places,for god's sakes" department part about doing the right thing RS voters and switch Elton John(#38) with David Bowie(#23). Elton John between Honky Chateau and Captain Fantastic was the best singer on the planet..and had it not been for all of that cabana boy blow, he still would be. Bowie was a chameleon, yes, but I could easily find his voice underneath the glitter.Not really pipes you would consider top 25 worthy.

Now for some surprising commentary on three of my favorite musicians...Kurt Cobain(#45), Lou Reed (#62) and Iggy Pop(#75) belong NOWHERE on this list. All geniuses...but Lou Reed never really "sang" anything more than halfway, Kurt's vocal claim to fame was screaming in tune and Iggy was...just Iggy.

I mean... Thom Yorke at #66 is behind Lou Reed. Thom Yorke...the most incredible vocalist to come out of England in the last 20 years is behind Lou Reed? And Axl Rose(#64)?? go away for 13 more years...,BJORK!!!(#60).....please, no more praise for Bjork...window companies have made millions of of her wretched warbling....Thom Yorke is behind Christina Aguilera(#58)as well. Must be the BOOBAGE. Nice rack, but it don't make her pipes sweeter than Thom's.

How can Brian Wilson(#52)be on the list and not his brother Carl(who sang beautifully on so many BB songs)...Good Vibrations, anyone? Do any of the voters know Brian wrote the songs and Carl and Mike Love sung them?!!!

How can Art Garfunkel be on the list(#86) and no Paul Simon? I know their voices are very different(one's an angel with an afro, one had a toupee until Edie Brickel made him take it off..has nothing to do with their voices, but I thought it was funny) but just take a listen to anything off Bookends or Still Crazy After All These Years, RS and think again about Paul's omission.

Great to see a bunch of Steves make the cut Stevie Nicks(#98) Steve Perry(#76) and Steven Tyler(#99) although they all should have been higher....How can Bjork be 38 spots ahead of Stevie Nicks?????

Metal was almost completely Dio, Halford or Dickinson. Horns DOWN, gentlemen. As was Staley, Vedder or Cornell... As was punk(except for Iggy)...Johnny Rotten, Joey Ramone are no shows but Mariah Carey gets her wackjob ass and over- emoting on there(#79) and same to you Mary J. Blige at #100.

I'm also wondering why Allison Krauss didn't make the list. I came late to the Allison Krauss party but her 30 plus Grammys and one of the most beautiful voices of all time(such control,such purity)should have put her in the top 30 at LEAST. And while were on the ladies.Yay to Bonnie Raitt(#50).But no Emmylou Harris? Joan Baez? Margo Timmins(Cowboy Junkies)....but Patti Smith makes it as a VOCALIST?

I'm glad Paul Rodgers wasn't overlooked(#55)....but he's alone in the British power blues/rock singer category...Steve Marriott is sorely missed and ALWAYS passed over. And what about Brian Ferry??? Who could leave him off of any list of vocalists? Listen to the first three Roxy Music albums....nobody sounded like him then, nobody has since.

So its a hit and miss list for me...but isn't every list? That's why they print create buzz and controversy.I checked this morning with a Google search on this subject and there must have been a thousand blogs talking about it. So I'm 1001. Thats ok with me...I'll be here tomorrow bitching about Beyonce again.

Here's My top 15 (heavy on the rock tip) and where they were on RS' list.
1) Freddy Mercury (#18)
2) Robert Plant (#15)
3) Thom Yorke (#66)
4) Brad Delp goose egg
5) Chris Cornell goose egg
6) Steve Marriott goose egg
7) Ronnie James Dio goose egg
8) Paul Rodgers (#55)
9) Jeff Buckley (#39)
10)Layne Staley goose egg
11) Joni Mitchell (#42)
12) Sly Stone (#78)
13) Brian Ferry goose egg
14) Elton John (#38)
15) George Harrison goose egg

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Making My Way

Making my way
into the bitter air
there's no one out there.
Cautious I'm not for I've been in this spot before.
A train sleeps, close to awake.
Tis the one I will take
to hop a bus bound for New York.
This city I now visit
6 years I have lived it,
it still brings me warmth and surprise.
But this time its the work
that will hustle the flow
that will upend the next two days.
It is no vacation
brings no elation
to a working space down Soho way.
I'm off now, must go.
through the street pre dawn cold
toward another three day non holiday.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Things That Have Ceased Happening

It seems not so strange to me that barely any "real" media time was spent mourning/appreciating Mitch Mitchell. He was only one of the top 10 Rock Drummers of all time and spent most of his prime years playing next to arguably the best rock guitarist in history. His influence was legendary and his style was difficult to classify......we got a blip here...a blurb there...and then back to your regularly scheduled asshat bait comedy like Two and a Half Men. In this day and age of a public flogged with bottomed out economy and having no time for anything except the Biggest Loser..its just one of those things that have ceased happening. The respect of a rock giant's passing is barely touched upon...while we get to hear plenty of Kanye West proclaiming himself "The voice of our generation" with that overbite of his forcing the spittle to go arterial....or Cracky Wine-in the house spiraling in and out of lucidity again while she tries to ask for her brand of smokes from the deli on the corner.....
Anyhoo, it got me thinking about things that just don't happen anymore in the rock world and I'm all hot and bothered about it. Its what forces me to keep looking back in wonder and amazement at the decade I was just a few years too young to truly appreciate(1970-1980) Rather than give you a long list...I will present video evidence(mostly instrumental) for you to ponder the sheer brilliance, spectacle and bombast...all from the recently released DVD of collected performances on the Old Grey Whistle Test...a legendary British musical showcase/interview show...the likes of we'll never see again(thank you Simon Cowell, you twat!)

#1)Focus-Sylvia/Hocus Pocus- I know how nerdtastic this may sound...but yodelling is the SHIT! This just plain rocks and resonates off of the stone walls of a fjord somewhere....makes me wanna grow wings and make wishes with the faeries!

#2)Roxy Music-Ladytron- A sparkly green druid meets Elvis playing clarinet, a disco ball fade -in 4 YEARS BEFORE DISCO, Brian Eno,all gold gloves and leopard printed noodling on a pre MOOG synth he made in his basement and the unbelievable dulcet/vibrato on speed tones of Brian Ferry....simply awesome!

3)Edgar Winter Group-Frankenstein. Yes its one of the most popular instrumentals of the era, but having seen this vid for the first time the other night, its evident that these guys are geniuses. Lets start and end with Edgar Winter..just swaying back and forth with his portable keys..rocking out with albino abandon between a barely out of his teens Rick Derringer and Dan Hartman on bass( who later scored a huge 80s hit with "I Can Dream About You..yeah, thats him!) and Chuck Ruff on the skins...then he takes OVER on the timbale sync with Chuck, and keys swinging from his neck(WHO KNEW?) Brother Johnny gets all the praise but its evident that after his alien abduction, Edgar came back with some SERIOUS goods. just plain NERDTACULAR!

I hope that when they come for me...the men in white suits or the aliens in white light....they will eventually return me to inside the space/time continuum.. to roadie for the Edgar Winter group, or to run and get hot tea for Eno. I just need that elusive pair of metallic white overalls....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Reason To Become a Stage Dad #1:

This is my boy. The boy who could speak LONG before he could walk. The boy who could rock LONG before he could roll. Now he does both!...Can I tell you how awesomely divine it is to hear my boy ask "Daddy can you play Lust For Life on drums?" or hear a two year old with a crusted over milk moustache answer a tough question like "What is your favorite band?" with a resounding.."LED ZEPPELIN!!!"as crumbs tumble from his lips. Yeah. I'm a proud papa. Will I force him into taking guitar lessons when he turns 3.?..maybe.The earlier the barre chord, the better! Or perhaps I'll just convince him that a power chord is one of the most perfectly beautiful sounds he'll ever hear..cooler than a motorcycle or a leaf blower! Will I pepper in rock trivia between Goodnight Moon and Go,Dog,Go at bed time?...Why yes, I think I will. But I'll make it fun...maybe switch the title of that bizarre book to Goodnight KEITH Moon..something like that.
Will I be an overbearing stage Dad who pushes his son into rock avenues that he doesn't want to go down?.will I take away his Wii and push him into practice spaces, open mics and spotlights? Nawww, I'll just tell him about the pay-off. The return he'll get after the hard work, the blisters, the wood-shedding....You know..CHICKS! COLD CASH! Debauchery and deliverance from basement obscurity!!!
Hmmmmmm.....that doesn't sound right. Maybe I'll just teach him how it feels to write a song from scratch...from smudged out scribbles in a rainy day notebook..and a repetitive hum that fights a refrain of traffic noise or busted out beat on a handle bar to an actual song. One with a sturdy strummed out anthemic melody and a chorus that you think you could hear a whole stadium singing along with you if you just shut your eyes tight enough...dream hard enough. Yeah that sounds better. Thats what I'll do. That's my next lesson.

Thanks Hudson for making Daddy proud...and making Daddy feel the dreams you make(for us)

That's my boy....

Monday, November 10, 2008


The link was wrong on my first suggestion...unless you want a wedding album...some of you may never want to see one of those again. For album cover art go to Sorry about that.

Shining that Light Again

There's not much going on in the rock news world right now...or that's how I feel today anyway. I don't really care how well Gene Simmons did on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader because he's one of the most loathsome humans that I know of. Gene is a dead -squirrel haired carnival barking sheister and Kiss were the Three Doors Down of the 70s.Not much news there....I did hear of another challenging night for Billy Corgan where he invited up an audience member to the stage on the second night of their NY tour stop to ask him what he thought of the first night's set. After the young buck said "it sucked" Billy said " By the way, what was the name of that song you wrote? Take Your Dick Out of My Mouth and Stick It In My Ass? I heard it was a hit in Europe." Wow...tough times on the Pumpkins tour, I guess...somebody got a bunch of Black Necco Wafers and Almond Joys in their trick or treat bag! Bet you can You Tube that one as well...
I thought I would let you know of some really great websites that I use during times like of them is simply called . Need an album cover for Itunes/Ipod art? Or for anything else? Maybe to stare at lovingly as listenable mediums get smaller and "covers" go the way of "cassettes" or "guitar solos"? You know..Bye Bye! Enter an artist or album title. Its there. Just copy and paste it where you need it. They also have DVD covers and videos of said artist that appear in the right column adjacent to the search results.
I even found Zappa's Weasels Ripped My Flesh and Foghat there. Just because I could.

I also found a great site called Its basically a large list of hidden tracks by artists( often found at the end of a cd and usually unlisted)and what CDs you can find them on! Simple..awesome...and great for slow rock news days.

Finally in the TOTAL non music category...I STUMBLED UPON this page from Jimmy Ruska's blog called Friends Are More Dangerous Than Beer. I haven't busted a gut like that in a long time. People are so cruel..and I love them. See You Soon.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Smashed Pumpkins

Billy Corgan just cracks my ass up. He really doesn't give a poop whether the fans that came to see him in Toronto on Nov. 3 were upset that he played almost an hours worth of long rawk jams, went into snippets of "White Rabbit" from Jefferson Airplane "Tom Sawyer" and "YYZ" from Rush and then proceeded to launch into an epic version of "Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun" by Pink Floyd ..He did it anyway,awesomely alienating all those hit-mongers that are the blight of most concert going experiences. And during the encore he led his band through a kazoo only version of "Everything is Beautiful" and berates a fan for chanting "Cherub Rock!!" over and over...basically sends the dude to his room.
My favorite part of the video I've included is when he states.."You find me a band without BEARDS that can play 48 fucking songs over two nights! This ain't no fucking hippy shit!".....Nuff said, Billy. Good for you for leaving all those Pumpkinites Mellon Collie...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

One More Thing

For more information on what you can do to raise awareness for lung cancer research and detection and to further educate yourself on these issues visit Thank you.....sean

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Lung Cancer Awareness Month

November is Lung Cancer Awareness month. Lung cancer took my sister a little over two months ago. Lung Cancer took George Harrison,Bob Marley,Warren Zevon, Carl Wilson, Eddie Kendricks, Sandy West(Runaways drummer), Hilly Kristal, John Wayne, Walt Disney and Peter Jennings. I could go on and on.....

What people don't realize are the statistics. Cancer does not discriminate,so why should the media? Why..year after year do we see more and more "pink ribbons" everywhere? Sure boobs are pretty....boobs are sexy..Most women wish either wish they had bigger ones or don't want to lose the ones they have.Celebrities get cancer.Celebrities have boobs, too. Sometimes they have to have them removed!Shocker!!!Call the tabloids! And because of this, I guess the campaigns for breast cancer research are monumental.Astounding...We are bombarded with pink all of the time! Pink ribbons on frosted flakes,motor oil, perfume, fast food wrappers, fruit,tampons,rolling papers....on display at churches, gyms, voting booths, Ozzfest......My sister was perplexed...outraged! What is the difference?! Cancer is Cancer...and it could take you tomorrow...overweight Motorhead fan with the man boobs and dusty boots....Phishhead girl with the henna tattoos and the fake dreads.....Soccer mom with the blue mini van and the Toby Keith bumper sticker...uber healthy vegan boy with tan skin permanently attached to a yoga mat....!!! Get the facts...take steps for early prevention! Ask Why!

Why all of the attention on Breasts? When Lung cancer takes more people than breast, ovarian, pancreatic,testicular,lymphoma,melanoma and liver COMBINED every year.Over 160,000 will pass from lung cancer this year...20, 000 of them NON SMOKERS! And where are the other colored ribbons...the million dollar ad campaigns for lung, prostate, liver,lymphoma,melanoma......where! It reeks of being unfair.....My sister wanted a "Rainbow Ribbon" that covered all of the bases as a symbol and reminder of the need for more research and campaigns for early detection for ALL Cancers! My family will continue to build on her dream, that you can believe.

And for those with breast cancer or the loved ones that surround them,let nothing change. Fight on! But realize that there are many out there who need help, money, research and a "national" spotlight just as much as you. Awareness is Key! November is Lung Cancer awareness month. Get the facts!....and go out and VOTE today.

Now I'll put away the soapbox until the Rock and Roll Hall of fame inductions are announced..!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Top 5 Scariest Songs

Just in time for Halloween 2008 I have come up with a list of five songs that scare(d) the shit out of me. There are many reasons people get scared..floors creaking in an empty house(mine),a basement that is musty, old and poorly lit(mine), the wind whipping branches around causing the motion lights to go on at 3:15 in the morning(mine)..the amazing amount of people who watch Dancing With the machine malfunctions in the most technologically advanced country in the world.These are things that scare me....but this is a music blog for the most on to the songs that freak me out.

#5) Mass Production- Iggy Pop(The Idiot,1977)-The intro to this song alone with its drawn out druggy keyboard pulls you into some burned out side room in a secret club somewhere in the mid seventies, where scenesters are strung out and strewn out all flophouse style..amidst the smoke and the coke. Iggy is your MC while people fall in and out of the frame..slurring expectations of himself in a painful howl as the soundtrack swirls off kilter behind him. Scary 8 minutes of dead end sin somewhere.

I don't think I'd last 3 minutes in that room with him.

#4)Am I Inside-Alice in Chains(Sap,1992)-The Sap EP was a precursor to their monumental album Dirt..which in its entirety can shake you to your core. But the bleakness that permeated singer Layne Staley's lyrics first came to light here. Am I Inside has an intro that framed what his life could be at times, and ultimately ended up as... A dank, dark chamber of drug fueled solitude. I was a victim of the grunge personification(without the drugs)and spent alot of time pleasantly freaked out by this song in a musty basement after my parents divorce.I get the shivers still, even when Ann Wilson kicks in with the background vocals. Booo....scary. Boo-hoo...sad.

#3)Revolution #9- The Beatles(White Album,1968)- This is the first song that ever scared the living daylights out of me. Even at 8 years old I knew something was not right with this song. The ominous MC spouting his "number nine" mantra throughout, The blips of backwards orchestration, the little Asian voice whispering something about being naked or Satan."Hold that line!" or "block that kick"..or whatever he says in a repeated bleat... I remember lifting the scratchy stylus over certain parts where I just couldn't get through..being fascinated with the fear it brought me. I still am..

#2)Black Sabbath-Black Sabbath(self titled debut, 1970)-This could very well be the most ominous song ever produced. I mean C'mon..Ozzy asks "What is this that stands before me,figure in black who points at me."!!!!!!! Look kids, Satan's standing in the doorway and he wants answers! This gives me demon-tipped goosebumps just thinking about it...and the power chords so loud and low that they engulf you in the clouds close in and you're stranded in a desolate field at dusk..with Beelzebub as your tourguide. And lets talk about that album cover for a minute...who is that gutted out ghost woman in a robe just staring at you? Her eyes follow you around the room like a husked out Mona Lisa....Ghouls Gold! Mommmyyyyy!

And the number one scariest song on my list....Wake Me Up Before You Go Go-Wham(1984)
Everything about George Michael scares me...overly bright teeth,femme lashes, the orange tint of his skin,his too perfect stubble, his penchant for entertaining in bathroom stalls and crashing cars while high...but this video with the neon, the flash of those Choose Life T-shirts, the flitty swaying,sashaying...that dude muttering "Jitterbug" for some strange reason.AHHHHHH! I was often scared right out of the room when this song or accompanying video came on..even during my brief dance club period in the mid 80s. Friends would often find me under a table muttering "make it stop!" until the neon died down and the vision of those teeth flashing in the dark subsided. Watch that video here if you dare

Have a Happy Halloween my rockofiles, wherever you are!


Monday, October 27, 2008


'Tis the season for being haunted, trick or treating into your late teens,the urban myths of razor blades in apples, launching eggs at the houses of the outcasts or curmudgeons in your neighborhood,remembering the drug store flame retardant costumes of yesteryear,smashing pumpkins on sticky sidewalks,wafting through the smells of pigskin and cider and doing the Monster Mash. Halloween is Friday....and the fun I used to have as an unruly teen running rampant with a pillow case full of Mounds, Mary Janes, Necco Wafers and unwrapped black licorice(complete with stray hairs) is gone.Long gone. I've transferred it all to my two year old son Hudson..who will be a shark this year. I don't think he even cares about how cool I will make his costume look..(bloody barbie leg and tin can strung from his "shark teeth")but he'll eventually appreciate the work I put into it as I did while my Dad made me up in the coolest homemade costumes in the entire northeast all those years ago.

It is fitting that the background color for my blog is Orange. It is a tribute to my sister who left us just two short months ago. It was her favorite color..for reasons that escape me right now.It is her I will wear her orange "Miracles are Happening " bracelets for the rest of my I am reminded of our lifelong bond and the change of I see orange everywhere now, not just around our beloved is noticed in an Orange swirl of leaves in the side yard in a tendril of wind..It is seen in the faded Orange lettering on my Orange amplification T-Shirt that I bought years before she fell ill but now wear whenever I am in a situation that may cast doubt or fear over me...I stop to see the blurry swatches of an orange sunset entwined in the blotted clouds on a Crisp fall day...I stop to notice the Orange hues in everything from strewn Hot Wheel Cars, to Juice in a morning glass to cat fur clusters on a hoodie. It is soothing. It warms and strengthens me. It is her presence..realized and applied to my thoughts,dreams and actions.
Orange is a combination of yellow and red..which now makes sense as to why it is symbolic of Meaghan..It is between the sunrise(yellow) and sunset(red) of life where we do our best work, our thinking and growing and nurturing.It is where we define who we are..It is not how much time we have between Sunrise and is what we do with it. Thanks again Meaghan....for another lesson. I will wear my Orange proud for the days I have left and always be reminded of you and what you did in between the "yellow" and the "red".

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Shine a Light, Already

There's plenty of time allotted for sarcasm, wit and nonsense on this here blog..but tonight it's all PRAISE baby. I promise.

I can worship with the best of them. I'm mighty good at it and wear the badges of my heroes on my sleeve and plant them right up in your grill thank you very much. I am a vocalist and it is vocals first and foremost which draw me towards(or repel me from)songs and groups of any genre. It could be the most melodic, raucous, lyrically beautiful thing I've ever heard but if the vocals aren't there...neither am I.

This is probably why I never dug most of everything the Foo Fighters did. Dave Grohl is one heck of a songwriter and a monster drummer....but he can't sing for shit. Lots of painful wretched screaming and whispering.. no heart..Back away from the mic Dave...but I love that Probot album you did..cuz you ain't singin'!

But that's just an example...and I did say this post would be PRAISE-a-RIFIC! So I'd like to shine a light on some vocalists from the last ten years or so who have really tugged my earlobe, tilted my head like a dog and made me listen. Listen REAL GOOD LIKE.

No classic rock vocal legends this time around....these are the new(ish) vocalists who should really be on your radar..the new be considered for the rock pantheon in my opinion. My criteria for a great vocalist is as follows...

He or she should stand alone from the music as well as enrich its message in accompaniment.
He or she should have a voice that is instantly recognizable with the rest of your ear closed.
He or she should move you with the emotion of a mini god through melody or character.
He or she will sound like their technique is non existent, but their delivery is effortless.

I'd like to start with Ben Ottewell from the British band Gomez. Gomez' music is loose, bluesy, folky and psychedelic at times and Ben's voice is this heavenly growl with a smooth push that washes over the songs he sings. He is one of three singer songwriters in the band but in my opinion, the stand out.His voice runs ragged in total control and is convincing and warm to my slightly cold ear.
Here's a track from Gomez' 2006 album How We Operate called "See The World"

My next mad scientist of a singer is Ethan Miller from two great bay area bands Howlin Rain and the(on hiatus?) Comets on Fire. Ethan plays guitar too. Howlin Rain is spaced out boogie rock with minor hits of stoner and free jazz and Ethan's voice is a pleasant rasp wandering around the high registers..Its a meth-ed out bong hit of the blues kind of voice but I love it.It takes you places,man. Seek out Howlin Rain's two albums...Magnificent Fiend from this year and their debut Howlin Rain from 2006. This track is a nine minute ocean of an opus called "The Hanging Heart" from their debut...

The next gentleman on my list is Caleb Followill from semi buzz band Kings of Leon. I loved The Kings first album from 2003 Youth and Young Manhood which showcased their rave up punchy rawk side spewing out songs like "Holy Roller Novocaine" and the single "Molly's Chambers"...but they have since cut off all their Skynyrd hair, put the U2 and Joy Division on heavy rotation..and continued to experiment.all the way up to their just released album Only By the Night..all the while Caleb's vocal style is one of a kind. Its hard to describe and decipher...sort of a gasped out drawl that creeps up on you until its got its arms around your head and is giving you a noogie. Here's a track from their 2004 Album Aha Shake Heartbreak called Slow Night, So Long

My last offering this time around is my best offering. This man's voice has moved me more than anyone's(besides maybe Mark Lanegan) this past 10 years. His name is Ray Lamontagne. He arrived on angels wings and will go out their leader...I cannot say enough about his hushed heartfelt bleeding voice, with tinges of wear and feelings of hibernation and woe weaving in and out of extremely personal lyrics.I first heard his voice on a song called "Forever My Friend" driving around listening to KFOG in San Francisco some sun/foggy day in 2004...I had never heard anything like it. You just know when you hear the first time I heard Buckley, this guy hit me right there in the gut where all singers field their blows... His new album Gossip in the Grain further showcases his prowess on songs like "Winter Birds" and "Let it Be Me"...and whatever he lays his nodes on.....Shine a light on this man already. This is what real sounds like. Here is a video of the song Shelter recorded recently on the BBC.

I hope you like my picks. You know I'm right. You really do.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Rock =Dust Today

Its hard to think of anything robustly rock today...In the immortal words of the Fab Four "I'm Down". I'm beat up, fat- lipped laying cerebally low, afternoon drinkin' stinkin' up the joint feeling so sorry for myself that it hurts.Pinch me so I can go back to dreaming. Swimming in a sea of algae drenched funk...drifting in dust.
My sister is not here. I feel the negative space.
In a physical place.
My lack of work has worn my motivation into a thin layer of desperate mesh . The energy plays chicken with my head and wins. I've run out of holes to dig.
I crash. Nobody laughs
I fast while progress gorges itself on somebody else.
I confound and stretch the corners of health.
I bait myself.
A two year old wastes his nap time away...he OD'ed on play
one story above
Oh the love, the trust he has in me.
He can't see the hollow
he smiles and I try to follow.
Allow me to plow through this anger fueled muck
by copping out and admitting I'm stuck
wish me luck.
as I stand uptight and make lists of the things
I need to go right
watch me take flight with one wing in a vice
contorted in "nots"
strung out on advice
feels so nice to wake up and roll the dice
wish me luck.
I'm on my way
to plowing a path through the rest of the day.

Miss You Meaghan.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Rock Star Names that Really Rock

I wish I had a cool name...a cool nickname that turned into a stage name that became engraved into the Rawk commandments..the dead( at 27 )sea scrolls...the bill of rock rights, whatever. A name that made the young girls soil their jordaches...made boys add an extra syllable onto their own to try and keep up....a name that made a proofreader jump out a window....but I just have Seano. I guess I'm one of those add a syllable guys(although my friend Anthony did it for me all those years ago)....I tried Seaneaux...but boy did that reek. I tried Benny Naked Yearrs...which is my named jumbled up...but it sounded like a bad porn box set title. So I stuck with Seano...which is slightly better than Sean-O and way cooler than Shawno so I'll take it.

But it got me thinkin' of the best rock(or general music)stage names out there and I came up with 50 or so. And lets get the worst ones out of the way first... Nikki Sixx,Mick Mars, Tommy Lee and Vince Neil...Rikki Rocket,Bobby Blotzer,Chip Z Nuff, Vikki Foxx, Vinny Vincent, Taime Downe, Oz Fox,Jake E. Lee, Zakk Wylde(don't hurt me)Jay Jay French, Tracii Guns and Kip Winger. Put a match in front of that Aqua Net and torch 'em right out of the picture.

These are the ones I like: Artimus Pyle(Skynyrd), Bev Bevin(ELO), Stiv Bators, Blag Dahlia(Dwarves), Sib Hashian(Boston),Jerry Only(Misfits),Freddy Mercury, Cheetah Chrome(Dead Boys), Izzy Stradlin, Stone Gossard, Mick Jagger, Keith Moon, Rivers Cuomo, Ringo Starr, Ace Frehley, Perry Farrell,Dean Ween, Fee WayBill(Tubes), Bun E. Carlos, Noddy Holder(Slade), Bon Scott, Barriemore Barlow(Jethro Tull), Bela Fleck, Bootsy Collins, Buddy Holly, Joan Jett, Siouxie Sioux, Joe Strummer, Nicko McBrain(Iron Maiden) Jimmy Cliff, Ginger Baker, Ozzy Osbourne, Cheri Currie, Buddy Holly, Rat Scabies(Cramps), D Boon(Minutemen), Iggy Pop, Kim Thayil, Jaco Pastorius, Johnny Thunders, Dizzy Gillespie, Eddie Vedder, Robin Zander,Geezer Butler, Ronnie James Dio, David Lee Roth, Jerry Lee Lewis, Jeffrey Lee Pierce, Mitch Mitchell, Sid Vicious, Lemmy Kilmister, James Honeyman Scott(Pretenders),Gary Ritchrath(REO), Ry Cooder, JJ Cale, KK Downing, Dee Dee Ramone, Elvis Costello, Steve Nieve(Elvis Costello), Jello Biafra, Miles Davis, Donita Sparks(L7), John Doe(X), Randy Rhoads, Aldo Nova,Lux Interior(Cramps),Simon Le Bon, Dez Cadena(Misfits), Lydia Lunch, Captain Sensible, Chaka Khan, Stevie Nicks, Herbie Hancock, Geddy Lee, Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, Sly Stone, Aynsley Dunbar, Elvin Bishop, Sting and Flea.

I'm sure I missed a few...The Edge, Bono(real name is Paul Hewson),Axl(or Bill as I call him)....but I think I covered some good ground, don't you?
Please send in my obvious omissions for your pleasure.........and bonus points if you can tell me the several real names in the bunch without Googling it. Your prize will be a stage name that I create for you and call you from now on against your approval.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Makes Me Wanna Cry

Do you see that rock god in the video? A blur of flannel, hair and power wailing so high and loud that he could defeather the wings of arch angels hovering over the stage? Keep that memory in a special place between your out- once- a-month- beer with the boys and the Soundgarden T shirt from '91 that you refuse to release to the Ebay hounds. Its over folks.

I've given up on several of my classic rock heroes...Sting, Eric Clapton, Rod Stewart...who are now more concerned with crisp shirts,pedicures and being on their Yacht Club committees than putting out good rock product....but these guys are grampas for christ's sake...They had some good years and they've made the decision to make flat line soft rock phoned in songs now...they are tired. They want to coast from now on...I guess I can't blame them...
But my new addition to the Makes Me Wanna Cry dept. is Chris Cornell....Chris is not geezer material...he's in his early forties..his voice is still 85% what it was in grunge's heyday...and he is super highly regarded as one of the most talented ROCK singers to emerge out of the last 20 years......So why is he doing an album with Timbaland????!!!! Timbaland works with Missy Elliott, Justin Timberdouche, insert robotic no talent pop star whoring for a beat here________. What the Fuck, Chris? You clean up, get remarried, pop out two quick a restaurant in France and go completely limp noodle on us??!!!!

Hey I know...let's completely alienate my fan base and put hip hop beats behind my now croony like tenor..Lets phone it in and leave out ALL evidence of the ROCK that bought that fucking restaurant in the first place...that should put the grunge historians in the cheap seats huh?

I just don't get it. I've heard of curveballs, but this ranks right up there with Pat Boone's heavy metal covers album or Garth Brooks' Chris Gaines rock alter ego bullshit, except...This is Chris Cornell....millions have taken him seriously, written his lyrics on their textbook covers, mimic-ed his mane and goatee combo...blasted Badmotorfinger before sacking QBs or tossing grenades into an Iraqi foxhole.... Just his stance onstage in the first video alone sold 17 million pairs of Doc Martens!!!! I'm going to cry myself to sleep with a live version of Jesus Christ Pose surging through my headphones, wrapped in a flannel blanket that I have not washed since '92. The sky has finally started to fall.......listen for yourself.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Album Titles-Worst of Them

Being true to myself and anyone who may read....I'm now on to my personal choices for Worst Album Titles of all time. Regarding the best album titles list, my wife wondered why there was no explanation of my choices. I figured there were none needed...if I close my eyes and its poetry..if it sounds right...that does it for me. Some of those albums I neither have or like by the way.

As for the worst titles...if I close my eyes and smell smarmyness, idiocy, verbal diarrhea, or it reeks of lazy..its on the list. I omitted the years cuz I figured you'd stop at the title.. Here goes:

1) Self titled anything-epitome of lazy rock star.
2)Bee Thousand-Guided by Voices
3)Achtung Baby-U2
4)When the Pawn(+a hundred other words)-Fiona Apple
5)Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water-Limp Bizkit
6)Definitely Maybe-Oasis
7)Tiny Music(Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop)-STP
8)Ball Hog or Tug Boat- Mike Watt
9)Hungry for Stink- L7
10)8 Way Santa-Tad
11) Pieces of Eight-Styx
12) Atom Heart Mother-Pink Floyd
13) Trout Mask Replica-Capt. Beefheart
14) Tha Carter III- Lil Wayne
15) You Can Tune a Piano But You Can't Tune a Fish- REO Speedwagon
16) Bagged and Boarded-Goblin Cock
17) Innuendo-Queen.....ouch!
18) Adrenalize-Def Leppard
19) Slippery When Wet-Bon Jovi
20) Aoxomoxoa- Grateful Dead
21) Shabooh Shoobah-INXS
22) Under Rug Swept-Alanis Morrisette
23) Pet Sounds-Beach Boys
24) Pieces of You-Jewel
25) Hello Nasty- Beastie Boys
26)Butchered at Birth-Cannibal Corpse
27) Crooked Rain Crooked Rain-Pavement
28) Throwing Copper-Live
29) Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em- MC Hammer
30) Meat is Murder-The Smiths
31) A Nod is as Good as a Wink...-The Faces
32) Viva La Vida- Coldplay
33) Dear Science-TV on the Radio
34) Return To Cookie Mountain- TV on the Radio
35) Word of Mouf-Ludacris
36)The Bedlam in Goliath-Mars Volta
37)Steers and Stripes-Brooks and Dunn
38)Vincebus Eruptum-Blue Cheer
39) Rock N Roll Jesus-Kid Rock
40) Big Willie Style- Will Smith

I could go on and on but why ruin your day more than its already been ruined....but I would love to hear your choices than I may have missed......luv, seano

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Album Titles-The Best of Them

I like lists...I've kept them all of my life. And some I return to to tweak, re-order and downright refuse. I made this list of the 40 Best Album Titles of All Time about a year ago..but it was brought to my attention again because of how most of today's album titles are mind numbingly awful. For instance, the title of the new album from the third most pretentious band of all time(behind Pavement and the Mars Volta) TV on the Radio is called "Dear Science". Boy does that blow hard. Makes me want to hold the lead singer's face over a bunsen burner until he starts singing More Than a Feeling.

Coldplay has a real beaut in their latest "Viva La Vida" ...which translates to "Live Life". Thanks for the bumper sticker, run off to your Pilates class with Gwyneth.'s the list. Feel free to diss me and I'll come up with 7 million more that are better than Dear Science. Tomorrow we'll do the 40 worst..but for now..the best...

1)Sticky Fingers- The Stones 1971
2) Caress of Steel- Rush 1975
3) Back in Black-AC/DC 1980
4) Astral Weeks-Van Morrison 1970
5) Quadrophenia-The Who 1973
6) The Royal Scam-Steely Dan 1976
7) Blonde on Blonde- Bob Dylan 1966
8) After the Goldrush-Neil Young 1970
9) Disraeli Gears-Cream-1967
10)The Hissing of Summer Lawns- Joni Mitchell 1975
11) Night in the Ruts- Aerosmith 1978
12) Keep it Like a Secret-Built to Spill 1999
13) Whiskey For the Holy Ghost-Mark Lanegan 1993
14) Women and Children First-Van Halen 1980
15) Intensities in Ten Cities-Ted Nugent 1981
16) Exile on Main Street-Stones 1972
17)Piece of Mind- Iron Maiden 1983
18) Shiek Yerbouti- Frank Zappa 1979
19)Summerteeth- Wilco 1999
20) Raw Power-Iggy and the Stooges 1973
21) Master of Reality- Black Sabbath 1971
22) OK Computer- Radiohead 1997
23) The Unforgettable Fire-U2- 1984
24) Physical Graffiti-Led Zep 1975
25) Sheer Heart Attack- Queen 1974
26) Let it Bleed- Stones 1969
27) Court and Spark-Joni Mitchell 1974
28) Desolation Boulevard-Sweet 1974
29) Alladin Sane- David Bowie 1973
30) Machine Head- Deep Purple 1972
31) Eat a Peach- Allman Bros. 1972
32) Amorica- Black Crowes 1994
33) Daydream Nation- Sonic Youth 1988
34) Night Moves-Bob Seger 1975
35) Remain in Light- Talking Heads 1980
36) Dream Police- Cheap Trick 1979
37) Honky Chateau- Elton John 1972
38) Marquee Moon- Television 1977
39) White Light White Heat-Velvet Underground 1968
40) A Trick of the Tail- Genesis 1976

Those are just 40 quick ones. Perhaps you have a few of your own that I may have overlooked(maybe on purpose)...send then my way........I won't bite.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Friday, October 03, 2008

Answer Me Cancer

Our cat Ruby has just been diagnosed with lung cancer. Incredibly rare in felines....just six weeks after my sister Meaghan left us from the same thing in people form.
What is the test here,cancer?
Take a feline take a dancer
you love to leave the empty answer for us to take pause
and become domestic scientists
destined for the cause
and everything we know and think turns into a race
we cradle the face that is held close to our hearts
we can't hold the paddle when one red sea parts
you hold court in our gallery
death is your art...
warm breath and cold start
you laugh in black ash as the frames fall apart
cat claws and blow darts could not keep us apart......from you.
post your lesson..I'll adhere. I will slander and smear.
the beast is besting the families here
lets be clear
you summon the fear
we run races with peers
to crush your career.....I'm sure you are reading,Cancer...I'm sure you are near.
But why us..why this family day upon day
we have memories to build and you keep them at bay
make us post up a photo...make these words that I say

you rip away...the roots the souls in cahoots with the time that you keep socked away.
The time we never get to have
the time we never get to have
the time we never get to have
with the ones we love.
You're so selfish and bleak
you lay waiting and then sneak
into bloodstream and organ and stay for the week.....month...year
we find you before we ever had time to just fear.
you are never discreet once we summon the fear.
Be obsessive you stalk us while walking
while lower back pain leads to cursing and coughing
you apply
the demise....alibi
you rush in like a lie
and we pile treatment on futures on which we cannot rely.
you pack poison ideas in our every goodbye
we drop poison in return every tumor denied...........we tried.
You lied
You cheated
You stole
You are rich from the taking
famous for your role.

I will find you and fight you until I am stripped of my soul.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Percy is a Pussy

I rarely diss my idols.. I mean I'm proud to say I have legitimate ones.I don't watch American Idol like the rest of the lowest common denominator,you fools!..I'm an expert on this shit. My idols pave ways, y'all ..some are on everybody else's lists of go to rock idols..some are deep in the rock jungle but still held close to my steel cased heart...It hurts me to do this...especially since this man is the reason I picked up a microphone in the first place...emulating him with tight jeans and an imaginary dove in my hand in front of my panasonic tune box in 1982..Does anybody remember laughter? Robert Plant...I'm not laughing anymore. I went to Percy's official website today..and read his official statement which goes like this:

Robert Plant and Alison Krauss are currently touring the USA on the last leg of their 'Raising Sand' tour. They played a benefit concert in Oklahoma City for victims of Hurricane Ike last Friday; Austin,Texas last Saturday and tomorrow they play Portland, Oregon before finishing the tour in Saratoga, California on October 5th.

After those dates, Robert has no intention whatsoever of touring with anyone for at least the next two years. Contrary to a spate of recent reports, Robert Plant will not be touring or recording with Led Zeppelin. Anyone buying tickets online to any such event will be buying bogus tickets.

“It‘s both frustrating and ridiculous for this story to continue to
rear its head when all the musicians that surround the story are keen to get on with their individual projects and move forward,” Robert Plant said.

“I wish Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham nothing but success with any future projects,” he added.

Well, Fuck you too, Robert. I've had a devastating year. Let's just say..My family and I have been through absolute mind numbing lows....I was kind of hoping for a little glimmer of joy...a seed of orgasimus maximus growing in my future garden otherwise known as the worldly widely SPECULATED LED ZEPPELIN REUNION AND TOUR!

I know you've got enough money to buy everyone in Kashmir a Black Dog, I know you hate that nostalgia stuff....god forbid you go out and sing the songs that made you a legend in the first place. That must be so tough, Bob.What a stretch! Guess could go out there all high and mighty and think your giving people what they don't want..sing Tea For One, South Bound Suarez, sing Tall Cool One for fuck's sake it wouldn't matter...if your up there between Pagey and Jonesy singing the best of the Wiggles I'm buying a ticket!....slow down all of the hits to Indian raga like crawls and harmonica in all of your vocal parts...I'm buying a ticket! Play 2 hours worth of electronic Kraftwerk like versions of Zep fan favorites over hip hop beats and invite the lead singer of Kingdom Come up on stage with you... I'm still thinking of buying a ticket!

Dude.. The Raising Sand album with Alison Krauss is'll probably win best album of the year at the Grammys next've been touring for 9 months behind it already....But Jimmy's gonna get another singer....he can only do guest spots on award shows and talk about the December 2007 reunion for so long.! He can't take your incessant flip flopping and best wishes for much longer. Don't make me come out and audition!!

Give me something to believe in. If you say yes in 2'll be 61. I just don't see you singing the Ocean or Misty Mt. Hop with any cajones then. Lets rally and sign the papers and tell Jason to give Foreigner the pink slip... Nip this in the bud...back away from the peace pipe and the valhallan seclusion and do this...please. I love you. I hate you, Seano

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Genius Among Geniuses in Spandex

Freddy Mercury drank heavily when he sang....look at all of the pints on the grand every live video...drinks on the piano.....I cannot tell you how difficult it is to drink while you sing...dehydration, forgetting lyrics, spitting on the crowd, throwing a bass drum into the audience, belittling the security,dodging panties....its tough out there....Thats why this video is so amazing......the man was a god...flawless, effortless, transcendent with such poise. He was literally on top of the kingdom of Rockdom. Makes me wanna go practice my scales until my nodes blow.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Morrison Plays Nostradamus

Who knew Jim was such a futurist? He's almost dead on in his 1970 vision of now. Makes me want to grow a beard, fake my own death and give one last interview predicting robots will revolutionize heavy metal right around 2020.....

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Nominees Schnominees....

The nominees for the 2009 Rock and Roll Hall of fame are in and once again.I have two fingers caressing the very back of my tongue hoping to bring not just my swordfish dinner back up, but also everything I've learned about music...I'm disgusted...with the process nobody knows about..with the multi-platinum passing over the pioneers...and with the GENRES THAT SHOULD NOT BE INCLUDED.

This years group includes Metallica, The Stooges, Run DMC, Jeff Beck, Bobby Womack, Wanda Jackson, Little Anthony and the Imperials,Chic and War.

Deep breaths....collecting my shakras(I just dropped them)...throwing my ADIDAS in the garbage....Please tell me WHY RAP and DISCO ARTISTS are being considered for the ROCK and ROLL Hall of Fame?!!!?.....I am a somewhat patient man...just ask my friend GG and he'll tell you that I love all music and all people...and if you believe that I'll let you see my P Diddy tattoo that starts at my midriff and ends at my taint. First Grandmaster Flash, now Run DMC....RUN DMC...yeah, Its Tricky and Mary,Mary were absolute anthems...all the ROCK guys were lost in their bedrooms for hours learning My ADIDAS on their Gibsons....they along with Aerosmith(a great band makes a huge mistake)created RAP ROCK and western civilization continued its slow slide into purgatory right next to Violin rock(Kansas, Charlie Daniels) and Cop Rock(Bocchco mindfarts)...and Riverdance.

Tell me this...would you ever see Led Zeppelin or U2 or The Police any ROCK band for that matter in a future(BECAUSE YOU KNOW THERE WILL HAVE TO BE ONE) Hip Hop Hall of Fame.??..Absolutely Not. 99% of the dreaded hip hop nation fucking hates rock and roll....and those who say they dig it are lying. They conquered the demographic they were never looking for in the first place and have been laughing all the way to the bank since the late 90s and frankly...I've had enough....I've said it once and I'll say it again....hip hop will never be music to me. Its lazy blunt smoking people who talk about their faux troubles, rims and shorties rhythmically and call themselves poets and have never even heard of Dylan Thomas, Richard Brautigan, or even Robert fucking Frost. Now we open the door for Who? Salt N Pepa? Kid N Play?..Naughty By Nature? NWA? QUEEN FUCKING LATIFAH???? Does that numbskull Flava Flav need any more attention? Do we need to be dumbed down any more for christ's sake?!!! Pull up your pants and get the fuck off my stage.!

And then there's the problem with Metallica's first ballot induction....AHEM... There would be no Metallica without Iron Maiden...there would be no Iron Maiden without Judas Priest. Just because Metallica has a new album out and have sold more than their don't just open the door for them Janny Boy, you fruit.I understand their influence, I really do but make 'em sweat a little like Lars would at a drum clinic...cmon, now...THINK.

The Stooges were the first punk band of all time...rocketing out of Detroit in 1969 with Iggy Pop at the helm like a Meth-headed Morrison and never looking back....he's a legend among legends and should have been in a decade ago...BEFORE the Ramones...Before the fucking Talking Heads and before that roid head faux brit Madonna who's shat out songs Iggy and Co. performed last year.

Chic had two of the heaviest sampled,ultra cliched DISCO hits ever and they get in? 1-2 AWWWW Fuck Off!!! Didn't we fill a stadium of rock fans to watch a million disco albums get blown to smithereens into a vinyl cloud of goodbye back in the day? And now that glittered pompous dreck gets heralded? Why don't you just hand Gloria Gaynor and Donna Summer the keys to the fucking kingdom as well? If I ever see a pair of silver roller skates or a coke spoon on a chain again I'm gonna flog the nearest bridge and tunnel ex-54-er into submission.

Jeff Beck is one of the top five greatest living guitarists. Listen to Constipated Duck, Freeway Jam or Rock My Plimsoul and you tell me what the fuck he was doing. Genius.No pick needed. No singer either.

War, Bobby Womack, Wanda Jackson, Little Anthony.....before Bad Company,Alice Cooper, Rush, Yes, Cheap Trick, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and Stevie Ray Vaughan? I think not....somebody out there not writing for Rolling Stone or shucking for Ahmet knows better....way better.

And answer me this.....who is really worthy of their name on the hall wall after 1993 anyway? Shouldn't all these shenanigans end around 2018 anyhow? Spare us the hair metal, the new wave, and the rap rock or I'm going to wither away like dry leaves on a hot day. Like a candle in the dust in the wind beneath my wings.....

Monday, September 22, 2008

11:11 at Random

I'm not doing enough to help myself with my good days confuse me...I feel guilty for having them.....I'm not doing enough to protect my brother in law.. mother won't return my calls...everyone is reeling, coiling back into their I could have put some time into finding a therapist....I did not....I think back on some of the things people said to me after Meaghan's passing...."She's in a better place now"....No..she's in a different place, different than here...and nobody who is still here can tell me if "Heaven" is a better place...they've never BEEN THERE.
People say these things because they are absurdly religious...or they don't know what to say.....actually they should say nothing.....and just listen....let me talk it out....let me feel like Meaghan can hear me......

I don't have much else to say tonight. Grief wins over wit tonight....what tomorrow will bring..I just don't know.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Never Ever List (cont.)

I've been on an emotional bender as of before the bend breaks I better get back to the snarky sarcastic side of my psyche just to keep myself in check before I become a weepy mess.

Lets continue with my Never Ever List of songs that are the farthest thing from my top 40 favorites as humanly possible..... These five songs showcase some of my least favorite vocalists of all time.

16) The Cure- Friday I'm in Love: Robert Smith is a big fat crybaby with make-up on. Make-up that he applied in the dark while his tongue was in a wall socket. His whiny voice makes every hair on my body stand up like a cat that's about to be hosed down. Guys who are over 40 and putting make up on every day and whining about some girl they met at some GOTHCON somewhere make me want to get my paint sprayer out and completely white out their world. Guys who are just about 50 and put make-up on every day and are not in a Broadway production or a circus should be held under water until the bubbles stop.

17)Bjork- Its Oh So Quiet: I wish it was....I really do. Please tell me again what a genius Bjork everything she does is a beautiful well executed her voice sounds like nobody else's...Now I could say the same thing about fucking Tiny Tim....and I could actually understand Tiny Tim. Every song Bjork blurts out sounds like a flock of birds on barbituates that crash into sliding glass doors and fall unconscious. Not one of her songs has a pattern, melody, chorus or hook that I care to have anything to do with. I hear Iceland is beautiful, not many people there because Bjork clears them all out every time she gets behind a mic.

18)Aimee Mann-One (from the soundtrack to Magnolia):Keep it down now,wayyy down, Aimee voices carry. This song will carry you over a cliff... Everything is dull about her. Dull songs, dull voice,dull deliery, dull soundtrack, dull movie . Three Dog Nights version wasn't broke....why did you have to get your dreary tool box out and try to fix it.

19)Hootie and the Blowfish- I Only Wanna Be With You: Darius gets no whiter than Darius Rucker...Izods and Acoustics...frat chords and golf carts and that faux Eddie Vedder drawl that 500 bands played off of in the early 90s. He wants to be white so bad that he now has a COUNTRY song climbing the hayseed charts.It would be cool if he could combine FORE! with YEEHAWW! As if 14 million simple baseball cap khaki wearin' people who bought Cracked Rear View wasn't he's going for the lowest of the lowest common fans. Grand Ole Opry is next Darius, docksiders-off, boots on!

20)Linkin Park- In the End: I want the 20 million or so assholes who bought Linkin Parks albums to leave the bowling alley or mall for just one second and think about what you've done. OK, now go on back inside and get your Orange Julius and Abercrombie. Thank you for showing me what you look like so I'm prepared for the next time I read about a mall massacre. White Boy Rap plus White Boy whine and wince with added autotuned scream equals the end of civilization as we know it. I'd rather listen to Lawrence Welk on a loop while tied to a chair and kept awake for days with amphetamines and Mountain Dew.

OK, now back to your regularly scheduled brooding....