Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Percy is a Pussy


I rarely diss my idols.. I mean I'm proud to say I have legitimate ones.I don't watch American Idol like the rest of the lowest common denominator,you fools!..I'm an expert on this shit. My idols pave ways, y'all ..some are on everybody else's lists of go to rock idols..some are deep in the rock jungle but still held close to my steel cased heart...It hurts me to do this...especially since this man is the reason I picked up a microphone in the first place...emulating him with tight jeans and an imaginary dove in my hand in front of my panasonic tune box in 1982..Does anybody remember laughter? Robert Plant...I'm not laughing anymore. I went to Percy's official website today..and read his official statement which goes like this:

Robert Plant and Alison Krauss are currently touring the USA on the last leg of their 'Raising Sand' tour. They played a benefit concert in Oklahoma City for victims of Hurricane Ike last Friday; Austin,Texas last Saturday and tomorrow they play Portland, Oregon before finishing the tour in Saratoga, California on October 5th.

After those dates, Robert has no intention whatsoever of touring with anyone for at least the next two years. Contrary to a spate of recent reports, Robert Plant will not be touring or recording with Led Zeppelin. Anyone buying tickets online to any such event will be buying bogus tickets.

“It‘s both frustrating and ridiculous for this story to continue to
rear its head when all the musicians that surround the story are keen to get on with their individual projects and move forward,” Robert Plant said.

“I wish Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham nothing but success with any future projects,” he added.

Well, Fuck you too, Robert. I've had a devastating year. Let's just say..My family and I have been through absolute mind numbing lows....I was kind of hoping for a little glimmer of joy...a seed of orgasimus maximus growing in my future garden otherwise known as the worldly widely SPECULATED LED ZEPPELIN REUNION AND TOUR!

I know you've got enough money to buy everyone in Kashmir a Black Dog, I know you hate that nostalgia stuff....god forbid you go out and sing the songs that made you a legend in the first place. That must be so tough, Bob.What a stretch! Guess what..you could go out there all high and mighty and think your giving people what they don't want..sing Tea For One, South Bound Suarez, sing Tall Cool One for fuck's sake it wouldn't matter...if your up there between Pagey and Jonesy singing the best of the Wiggles I'm buying a ticket!....slow down all of the hits to Indian raga like crawls and harmonica in all of your vocal parts...I'm buying a ticket! Play 2 hours worth of electronic Kraftwerk like versions of Zep fan favorites over hip hop beats and invite the lead singer of Kingdom Come up on stage with you... I'm still thinking of buying a ticket!

Dude.. The Raising Sand album with Alison Krauss is fantastic..you'll probably win best album of the year at the Grammys next year...you've been touring for 9 months behind it already....But Jimmy's gonna get another singer....he can only do guest spots on award shows and talk about the December 2007 reunion for so long.! He can't take your incessant flip flopping and best wishes for much longer. Don't make me come out and audition!!

Give me something to believe in. If you say yes in 2 years...you'll be 61. I just don't see you singing the Ocean or Misty Mt. Hop with any cajones then. Lets rally and sign the papers and tell Jason to give Foreigner the pink slip... Nip this in the bud...back away from the peace pipe and the valhallan seclusion and do this...please. I love you. I hate you, Seano

1 comment:

  1. I wrote the same thing on my blog, in fewer words and not nearly as eloquently or entertaining as you said it (loved the line about Kashmir/Black Dog). I got comments that basically said "its his choice he doesn't owe his fans anything". Well crap, I am still disappointed in him. He has the potential, the power, to make millions happy MILLIONS. I could share my unused Led Zeppelin ticket story with you...but its too depressing.

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