Monday, September 15, 2008

Looking Down at Things That Are Looking Down

Depressing title to a post, huh. Yeah. I'm a little down...tomorrow my sister will have been away from earth for one month. I have so much to push I can get to the next I can live to be a responsible parent and good husband. Some mornings I feel like the Life is Unfair network is the only channel that comes in. Then I wash that mood off in the shower and remind myself of the miracle Meaghan stopped to see every day. It could have been anything from a flower on a highway median that nobody picked, cause nobody saw.....or a spider letting a fly just fly by....or a rainbow holding up a storm by its shoulders....Meaghan would notice that.

That is what I will try to do. Nothing comes easy though, right? Nothing comes at all for those who don't even look for it. Miracles are happening while I complain, while people boil their blood in traffic, while telemarketers steal another hundred dollars from Grandma..while a third tier celeb dances with the stars...miracles are unfolding..quietly..triumphantly ready to present themselves to those blinded by faux despair like me. I have NOTHING to complain about. And yet I find the energy each day to allow that furrow to carve new depths into my brow...lose my patience and energy just looking for something...waiting for some shit to attach itself to the fan on my right. My parade...rained on before the band lines up on the side street. It just cannot be like that anymore.
Meaghan never complained. Damn, she was good. Still here..still teaching. Miss you Much, Megalina Dupalina.

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