Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Rock =Dust Today

Its hard to think of anything robustly rock today...In the immortal words of the Fab Four "I'm Down". I'm beat up, fat- lipped laying cerebally low, afternoon drinkin' stinkin' up the joint feeling so sorry for myself that it hurts.Pinch me so I can go back to dreaming. Swimming in a sea of algae drenched funk...drifting in dust.
My sister is not here. I feel the negative space.
In a physical place.
My lack of work has worn my motivation into a thin layer of desperate mesh . The energy plays chicken with my head and wins. I've run out of holes to dig.
I crash. Nobody laughs
I fast while progress gorges itself on somebody else.
I confound and stretch the corners of health.
I bait myself.
A two year old wastes his nap time away...he OD'ed on play
one story above
Oh the love, the trust he has in me.
He can't see the hollow
he smiles and I try to follow.
Allow me to plow through this anger fueled muck
by copping out and admitting I'm stuck
wish me luck.
as I stand uptight and make lists of the things
I need to go right
watch me take flight with one wing in a vice
contorted in "nots"
strung out on advice
feels so nice to wake up and roll the dice
wish me luck.
I'm on my way
to plowing a path through the rest of the day.

Miss You Meaghan.


  1. this is beautifully painful to read.
    i am wallowing in the darkness of my life today. theres no comfort in knowing others suffer loss and ache with depression, but it does take my mind of me. im hoping you find some peace.

  2. wow.... i can relate to the anguish...someties we all are so aware of the feeling of pain which stirs within us that we able to express it so explicitly..
    Read my blog and see if you ca relate to the same feeling that i express differently