Sunday, October 12, 2008

Makes Me Wanna Cry

Do you see that rock god in the video? A blur of flannel, hair and power wailing so high and loud that he could defeather the wings of arch angels hovering over the stage? Keep that memory in a special place between your out- once- a-month- beer with the boys and the Soundgarden T shirt from '91 that you refuse to release to the Ebay hounds. Its over folks.

I've given up on several of my classic rock heroes...Sting, Eric Clapton, Rod Stewart...who are now more concerned with crisp shirts,pedicures and being on their Yacht Club committees than putting out good rock product....but these guys are grampas for christ's sake...They had some good years and they've made the decision to make flat line soft rock phoned in songs now...they are tired. They want to coast from now on...I guess I can't blame them...
But my new addition to the Makes Me Wanna Cry dept. is Chris Cornell....Chris is not geezer material...he's in his early forties..his voice is still 85% what it was in grunge's heyday...and he is super highly regarded as one of the most talented ROCK singers to emerge out of the last 20 years......So why is he doing an album with Timbaland????!!!! Timbaland works with Missy Elliott, Justin Timberdouche, insert robotic no talent pop star whoring for a beat here________. What the Fuck, Chris? You clean up, get remarried, pop out two quick a restaurant in France and go completely limp noodle on us??!!!!

Hey I know...let's completely alienate my fan base and put hip hop beats behind my now croony like tenor..Lets phone it in and leave out ALL evidence of the ROCK that bought that fucking restaurant in the first place...that should put the grunge historians in the cheap seats huh?

I just don't get it. I've heard of curveballs, but this ranks right up there with Pat Boone's heavy metal covers album or Garth Brooks' Chris Gaines rock alter ego bullshit, except...This is Chris Cornell....millions have taken him seriously, written his lyrics on their textbook covers, mimic-ed his mane and goatee combo...blasted Badmotorfinger before sacking QBs or tossing grenades into an Iraqi foxhole.... Just his stance onstage in the first video alone sold 17 million pairs of Doc Martens!!!! I'm going to cry myself to sleep with a live version of Jesus Christ Pose surging through my headphones, wrapped in a flannel blanket that I have not washed since '92. The sky has finally started to fall.......listen for yourself.


  1. Makes me want to cry too, or throw up or throw something.

  2. There are inexplicable things out there in rockdom and it is our job to get to the bottom of them....

  3. Oh how the mightly have fallen.

    The soundtrack to High Skool Musical three and the new Jonas brothers album are both edgier then this shit.....

  4. I feel your pain - but the sad fact is that the destiny of every great rocker to eventually suck. They all do it. They have to do it. It has the benefit of making their great music greater. The only way around this is to die young and that is not a good option.
    Name one great artist that has not eventually sucked!

  5. Joe Rose12:02 PM

    I think if I had been a musician my whole life and reached even my 40s I'd be in the mood to try something new. Everything doesn't have to be heavy guitars and rawk. Expand those horizons!

  6. Joe, I love Chris Cornell....I loved Louder Than Love...Euphoria Morning(A huge departure from Soundgarden)...I loved Audioslave when the haters were piling on....the fact is...he's completely jumped genres and I'm making note of how lame the new material sounds. I have a huge horizon...that includes jazz, folk, americana, ambient, post punk, afrobeat and funk. I don't like hip hop...I never will. I think Timbaland is a beat manipulator...and how people say he's a songwriter completely escapes me. I will give the album a listen as a complete entity when it comes out and then I'll put it right next to my wife's Nelly Furtado CD and crank out Full on Kevin's Mom. Its a huge curveball(so far) but my appreciation for CC will not waver...everyone I love lays a shitty egg every once in a while....and I'm laying off the poultry. seano