2008 has been the suckiest of years for my family so far...My dearest sister left us for much higher ground this past summer after a courageous but ultimately heartcrushing 2 and a half year battle. Our transition from west to east coast was plagued with seemingly neverending stress and patches of unemployment and fear. My brutal life stealing headaches had almost perfect attendance throughout the Spring and early Summer,with no real cause in sight. I have been wrapped in an airtight depression that comes and goes as it pleases.The economy,local flakes beyond the realms of flakiness and a reluctance to rely on a trade that has paid my bills for 20 years have kept me shakily employed.... Am I buggin' you...don't mean to bug you.
What comes next is the holidays...which for many families who have had a NORMAL year can be hellish, so you can imagine what we're up against. So what could I possibly be thankful for right about now?
I'm thankful for the memories of Meaghan and the light,love and warmth she brought to the table every day of her short life. I wait for it to inspire me more than it has.I wait for my psyche to allow that to happen. I hope to live in shadow of what she taught without even realizing it.
I'm thankful for the unconditional love of my wife...we have had mountains to climb this year...sometimes without the right tools..but we manage to find the space to laugh and love each other as much as we can. She is an inspiration every day.
I'm thankful for my 2 year old son Hudson who doesn't even realize what happiness he has shown me with his inquisitive spirit, his verbal prowess, his unbelievable memory and his unending charm. I love him with all of my heart and am thankful I have the purpose of being able to teach him what I know and believe in. I hope I serve him well and know that his world is normal and wondrous even if ours is not.
I'm thankful for my family, my parents especially for going above and beyond for Meaghan and her husband and kids in a year we would just as soon forget...but never will. I'm thankful for the guidance you give when I don't even seek it out. It is there like a treasure map for the shaken and grieving.
Of course I am thankful for my friends, especially my friend Tom this year..who has been like a brother to me..one to share feelings of pain and doubt, and throw sarcasm around like nobody's business. Thank you for sharing the laughter..we need it now more than ever.
To all of my sister's friends..I am thankful to have shared so much with you..there is so much more to do....I hope you will join us.
I am also thankful I have this blog to spill out to, to recollect with, to paint opinions upon. Sometimes about music and sometimes about the life that goes on around and through my musical passions. It has been refreshing to return to my first love,writing, in the hopes that with practice(err, blogging) I will be back on course with the medium that has shaped me for all of these years..it is important that I am always informing, entertaining, slaying with sarcasm while I write here...and if there comes a time when I am not..well maybe I'll quit while ahead and switch to macrame', rollerblading or professional speed eating....while there's still time.
Thanks to the readers I have never met and the new friends I have made on this thing called the Internets......you make it fun. Its what I needed this year........
Happy Turkey Day to all who are out there...thankful for something.