Friday, September 21, 2012

Icky Thump

I am an avid complainer. I have honed its qualities down to a sharp tip and have plunged them deep into the femoral vein of many targets, mostly of a musical nature.

Today's complaint may very well be deemed racist by those of you who embrace hip hop as anything but a background for blunt consumption and bleary head nodding, but no. No

It is an observance of a well researched and unwillingly tolerated activity that is so mind boggling and rude to me that I just have to well as question it's purpose.

Why do many hip hop afficionados, (many of whom just happen to be African American, but clearly not ALL...  in the neighborhood where my research was conducted) have to expose every last person in a two block radius to the braggadocios- laden, bass heavy, soul- sucking hoodified thump of that blasphemous rap that most selfish of noise pollution known to man while driving.....anywhere, at any time...and at maximum volume?

What purpose is served by having all of the windows in the vehicle you own, rolled all of the way down while you enjoy your wretched, grammatical fail laden hip hop in the privacy of your vehicle, at the calm, relaxed expense of every human around you?

I cannot fathom that this activity is in any way connected to an aversion to air conditioning, nor is it strictly reserved for warmer weather and within the guidelines for the activity known as "cruising". I've seen it in a swirl of falling leaves on a crisp and quiet Sunday morning in October. I've seen it in quaint boring neighborhoods while people walk their dogs with expectations of peace and solace. Places where there is nothing to "cruise" and even less to do. Places where people people just want to live their lives without a slow rush and deafening roar of some half assed aggressive poetry expounding upon the merits of acquiring wealth and self congratulating.

Frankly, I don't get it. Is there a "fuck you" attached to the mindset of this extreme selfishness? Is there a certain disruptive plan of payback  by blanketing the world around you with a good old rousing chorus containing a handful of "niggas" and "muthafuckas" while kids in strollers are within earshot?

I'm a man who needs reasons.

Please give me a reason that may help me understand you. It may prevent a potato from being mysteriously places in the tail pipe of your LeSabre. It may prevent your rims from being spray painted pink while you sleep.

Because from my vantage point, as a musician and a fanatical loud music lover, I'm just not as fucking stupid as you. I would gladly keep my truck windows all the way up if I wanted to crank the fuck out of something so loud that my steering wheel vibrates, yet in private as to not offend anyone around me just trying to enjoy their day.


  1. This is why I blast Iron Maiden while I pass through the ghetto.

  2. Thanks to my extensive, independent research (observations. Potato, hash browns), I have an answer for you. Answers, rather, since there are two possibilities.

    The first is that they do this because they can. They know nobody will say anything for the same reason that you and I will never approach that burly biker in the seedy alley bar and say, "You know, I found some BB cream that will really soothe the sun damage to your complexion and even out your skin tone": we don't want our asses handed to us.

    The second reason is that the person blasting it is a moron who thinks that this mere act of air pollution makes others believe that they fall into the first category. Happily, in many neighborhoods of the world, the people from the the first group make short work of the people in the second group, or otherwise intimidate them into listening to things at a more respectable volume.

    I hope this helps.

    Yours in keeping it real and not letting the man bring her down,

  3. Thanks for this Huge & informative post....