Thursday, August 26, 2010

VH1's Top 100 Artists of All Time

I love me some lists! I especially love music related lists with huge glaring errors! I will expose said errors to the world with the hopes of angry mobs forming around certain "artists" falsely represented on this list. These angry mobs will be dispatched via a subliminal power chord emanating at ultra low frequency from this website and will be activated when clicked upon.

Here is VH1's list of the Top 100 artists of all time. Soon to be a special airing right after Dad Camp and right before Ochocinco. Apparently, it was voted on by a large group of musicians such as Darryl Hall, Rob Halford and P Diddy...for the record, I just sharted.

Ok listen for the subliminal power chord......settle in and then join your mob and disperse to find Justin Timberlake and Coldplay. Who should never even be on a best of ANYTHING list except maybe" Best Attempt of Growing Facial Hair to Look Less Feminine."

"VH1's 100 Greatest Artists of All Time" List:
1. The Beatles
2. Bob Dylan
3. Michael Jackson
4. Led Zeppelin
5. Rolling Stones

6. Jimi Hendrix
7. Prince
8. Elvis Presley
9. James Brown
10. Stevie Wonder
11. Bob Marley
12. David Bowie
13. The Who
14. Nirvana
15. The Beach Boys
16. Madonna
17. Queen
18. Pink Floyd
19. U2
20. Marvin Gaye
21. Bruce Springsteen
22. The Clash
23. AC/DC
24. The Velvet Underground
25. Chuck Berry
26. Neil Young
27. Aretha Franklin
28. Elton John
29. Radiohead
30. Aerosmith
31. John Lennon
32. Black Sabbath
33. Guns N' Roses
34. Tina Turner
35. Johnny Cash
36. Paul McCartney
37. Fleetwood Mac
38. Sly & The Family Stone
39. The Kinks
40. The Police
41. Van Halen
42. Metallica
43. Ray Charles
44. Joni Mitchell
45. Al Green
46. Ramones
47. Jay-Z
48. Rage Against The Machine
49. Parliament-Funkadelic
50. Sade
51. Billy Joel
52. Beyonce
53. Little Richard
54. Public Enemy
55. Peter Gabriel
56. KISS
57. Iggy & The Stooges
58. Cheap Trick
59. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
60. Whitney Houston
61. Cream
62. Genesis
63. Notorious B.I.G.
64. Talking Heads
65. The Doors
66. Justin Timberlake
67. Coldplay
68. Otis Redding
69. Tupac Shakur
70. Def Leppard
71. R.E.M.
72. Janis Joplin
73. Van Morrison
74. The Cure
75. Rush
76. Run-D.M.C.
77. Lynyrd Skynyrd
78. Judas Priest
79. Eminem
80. Mary J. Blige
81. ABBA
82. Steely Dan
83. Earth, Wind and Fire
84. Curtis Mayfield
85. The Band
86. N.W.A.
87. George Michael
88. Bee Gees
89. Beastie Boys
90. Elvis Costello
91. Green Day
92. LL Cool J
93. Pearl Jam
94. Mariah Carey
95. OutKast
96. Journey
97. Pretenders
98. Depeche Mode
99. Hall & Oates
100. Alicia Keys

I really don't have a problem with the top 40(..I would have switched a few,(see comments below) but it looks OK to me.

Ok listen for the subliminal power chord......settle in and then join your mob and disperse(armed with molotov cocktails and balloons full of Vaseline) to find Justin Timberlake and Coldplay. Look inside nail salons, naked yoga classes and organic cooking classes everywhere.

These pampered assclowns should never even be on a best of ANYTHING list except maybe" Best Attempt of Growing Facial Hair to Look Less Feminine."

To have Mr. Timberlake ahead of the likes of Janis Joplin, Van Morrison, even Steely Dan is preposterous.
To Have Coldplay(who sound like a bad Radiohead cover band whose lead singer has chronic post nasal drip) ahead of the likes of Otis Redding, Rush and Lynyrd Skynyrd is criminal....

Get those teeth ready to clench Rocker Girls...because Beyounce, Mary J Blige and Mariah Carey are all ahead of The Pretenders...even though they never wrote a note of original music.
Beyounce is also wayyy ahead of The Doors, The Stooges, The Band and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. You can find her on a yacht on most days of the year. Mob, feel free to fire bomb it from the dock.

I don't deny Madonna's talent and influence , but she would hover around the low 80s if I was the List King, not AHEAD of Queen, Marvin Gaye, Bruce Springsteen and the friggin' Clash. Shit, she's ahead of Aretha Franklin.!!!!! Aretha should be the highest ranking female. Nuff Said. Un -arguable.

I don't think the Velvet Underground belongs ahead of Neil Young or Elton John or JOHN LENNON....cmon now..and I love Lou Reed, really I do. ..just listened to Berlin 2 days ago.

Let's talk AC/DC...I love them from '76-'82.....just fantastic transitioning from Bon to Brian....since then.....Feh. They're superstars, extremely influential, but for fuck's sake they should not be ahead of Johnny or Joni....not now, not ever.

Kiss are Con Artists...not great artists...not even artists. Not much separating them from Insane Clown Posse except a genre, 2 members and 75 pounds.
Rage Against the Machine....sort of a one trick pony with a horribly overrated guitarist.
Sade??? With 2 hits?   Alicia Keyes? with ONE?
LL Cool J???????   Doesn't he spend most of his time doing sit ups and sit coms?

Bob Dylan is still a legend, an American Treasure...but he's sounded like he's singing through a cancer kazoo since '95 and he..and that pharmacologist Michael jackson should never be placed in front of the Stones.

The Beatles....yesterday, today and forever number one.

What do you think?   Who is missing?


  1. Anonymous6:18 PM

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion...

  2. Pearl Jam are a better band than Nirvana on all fronts, I don't care what anyone says. And Dylan might sound as if he died about ten years ago, but he's still making more interesting music than the vast majority of his contemporaries.

  3. Where is HELLOWEEN, my favourite band??

  4. Pearl Jam created the music that defines my generation. Pearl Jam still tours and sells out every city between periods of creating amazing new music. I understand that they can't be right at the top of the list due to their predecessor's right of seniority, but #93? What has Coldplay ever done to deserve any recognition? Hearing the song "Yellow" instantly makes me want to break stuff. Where are Willy Nelson, Miles Davis, Jerry Garcia and a handful of blues muscians? Cheers to The Eagles not making the list.

  5. Pearl Jam is slightly overrated in my opinion. They are a good rock band, nothing more or less. Nirvana however are extremely overrated. Bands like Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and even some non Seattle bands like STP were as good musically and lyrically as Nirvana. Too much credit is given to Kurt Cobain as the tortured artist.

    I think this list is based a lot of how artists influenced future generations. Which is why Bob Dylan is so high. But I also think the Stones deserve to be in the top 3 for that reason. They basically put the dirty, edgy, raw sound into what was previously more of a rock-pop sound.

    This is why music is so great. Like taste in food, its very subjective so it's fun to discuss this stuff but arguing it is pointless.

    Great blog - glad I found it!


  6. My biggest problem is that the list is the top 100 ARTISTS, and all they have listed are groups or individuals that SING. There are TONS of very talented musicians that are completely ignored. Most of the greatest Jazz musicians are completely ignored, and jazz was once the most popular genre of music in America!

    Where is Charlie Parker? Where is Miles Davis? Where is Art Blakey? Louis Armstrong? Chick Corea?

    It's a disgusting oversight.

  7. Anonymous11:07 PM

    Everyone has the individual opinion!

  8. UGH. I won't add my two cents but I agree with you (as always) :)

  9. Anonymous1:52 AM

  10. I like U2,,thanks to put on your list

  11. Catherine is right. Miles and Charlie Parker should be on long before Green Day or Outkast.

  12. Nirvana was an industry game of those bands that starts a movement. I think Kurt wrote many songs that touched many people. Those songs came from a tortured, but well thought out place inside of him. That makes a great artist.

  13. Bit disappointed not to see my own name there. But as I've never released any music, I suppose I can't get too angry.

  14. Anonymous9:43 AM

    According to your contextual Google Ads, Paramore should be on there too. I know how much you love them...

  15. I personally can't believe that the Foo Fighters aren't on there.. Every song is great. I like your blog and would appreciate it if you looked at mine, just started.

  16. Anonymous12:27 PM

    I agree, Foo Fighters should have been on there. Also, Robert Plant should be on there... he has done such a wide range of music! And I think Rush should be higher up on the list.

  17. Did David Gray make the list?! he belongs there somewhere :)

  18. Catherine as 100% right, Maynard Ferguson, Arturo Sandoval, Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald should all be on that list. SK makes a valid point too, Foo Fighters should be on that friggen list, and if you feel a little crazy, then possibly even The Strokes. And where the hell is Frank Sinatra?! He's one of the most listened to singers of all time!

  19. My biggest issue with this list, aside from some of the obvious that Seano already mentioned (see: Timberlake) is that it pretty much excluded all guitar based music that has been played in the past 20 years.

    I could find 5 bands that fit into this mold and they are Radiohead (deserved), Nirvana (deserved), Rage (nope), Green Day (Ehhhh), and Coldplay (really?).

    The general lack of "Alternative Music" (ug, every time I write that an angel loses it's wings) in general is borderline offensive, but that most likely represents the last time the people who put this list together stopped paying attention to music being made, right around the Napster Age I'd say.

    I guess if you were an "artist" 00's didn't exist if you we're an R&B singer or Rapper?

    PS - Really, Sade?!?

  20. I agree with the majority of the list; Beatles are my all time number one with Michael Jackson and Dylan... Stone Roses should feature in top 5 in my opinion though! :)

  21. @ an.emerald.lady it boggles me how enamored Europe is with the Stone Roses, that band was inches away from being gargantuan huge. I've always loved them with much heart. They just never caught on in the States. This song is a legend unto itself:

  22. The VH1 list is hilarious. Anyone who actually listens to music would instantly file half of it where it belongs: in the garbage.

    Yes, I realize that music touches everyone in different ways, but it seems like a helmet wearing, drooling, TV addicted person with 75% hearing loss made up this list, with a little help from some drunk dude wearing an AC/DC t-shirt.

    I'm preaching to the choir, so I'll just stop right here.

  23. Top five sounds about right.

  24. Fuck Nirvana, Billy Joel and Green Day. I'm not surprised they're on this list, but fuck them all the same. Especially Green Day. If all of your fans are half your age, you are not a real band. I realize they have older fans from the days before they wore eyeliner, but their new shit?! Plus, you can't spell Bill Joel without Billy Joe (Armstrong). So Green Day is like one letter away from being TWO things I hate AT THE SAME TIME!
    Basically, I recognize that Billy Joel and Nirvana are important even though I hate them, but the only thing Green Day ever did for music was make all of it look better by comparison.

  25. Notorious BIG before Tupac is insane..I like BIG but he had a couple hits and that was about it. Pac was legendary! Jay Z is way too high in my opinion also.

  26. Have to admit, I'm flat out shocked at the Nirvana hate here - their impact and music can't be denied.

  27. Anonymous10:26 AM

    Nirvana...yes...Foo Dave Grohl sings as well as Rik Allen plays drums.

  28. Hello from Omemee - home town of The Youngstown Rock and Roll,Museum. The Museum,created in honour of #26, Neil Young: contains exhibits dedicated to various rockers, in addition to Neil. Neil spent part of his youth in the village of Omemee, and my sister attended schol with him. Pop in and take a look around!

  29. Throbbing Gristle and Kraftwerk should be on the list somewhere. Kraftwerk pretty much started electronic music and TG started industrial. Hell, a lot of people use a Kraftwerk invention: the drum machine, although current ones are nothing like their version.

  30. Well I guess the debate will continue, I agree with you though about JT, that placement is just wrong and year Im a Lou Reed fan myself but he can be over John. Ahhh the subject never gets old for some reason haha good blog btw, glad I found it

  31. I believe Nirvana should have a place on this list somewhere however beating Pink Floyd is like your high school football team beating the Indianapolis Colts. Nirvana's music could never live up to there image. That with the Beastie Boys and Pearl Jam so low on the list, it looks like someone picked names out of a hat. Might as well have made Milli Vanilli #15.


    simon and garfunkel??? OMG an in this is Alicia Keys, Jay Z?? (he sings?) and Beyonce.... What the!!.. and justin timberlake... where are the blues brothers?? ha??





  34. Chicago is missing from the list. As far as record sales go they're 2nd only to the Beach Boys for American bands. Granted their very A/C tinged 80s seriously tarnished their image. But I'd argue on the strength of their first 5 albums they belong on the list.

    It was a rapid downhill slide for them after guitarist Terry Kath died (perhaps one of the most underrated guitarists in rock history) in 1978. He was their soul (and arguably their cojones as well-- just listen to any of their material post Jan. 1978 vs. material recorded when he was alive and you'll hear right away what I mean).

    I mean it's still hard for me to believe that a band that was once the house band at the Whisky in LA... a band that used to tour with and open for Janis Joplin & Jimi Hendrix ended up being the same band that released wedding and prom fodder like Hard to Say I'm Sorry, You're the Inspiration, and Look Away. I'm guessing how they ended up has tarnished their legacy to the point that they frequently are omitted from these lists. But their early material really needs to be revisited.

  35. Anonymous9:29 PM

    vh1 is crazy If they think Madonna comes before The Queen of Soul and Michael Jackson comes before James Brown that doesn't even make sense. Brown paved the way for Jackson.

  36. Super blog. This is my link

  37. this is how i feel, any artist who was is high school in the late 90's should not be on the list. If people can barely remember 2-3 song from the artist (Prince & George Micheal) knock them down a few and if more people remember you more for your costume (KISS) instead that you actually play music, why bother?

  38. Anonymous8:59 PM

    Jackson Browne.

  39. Anonymous6:40 PM

    frank zappa???

  40. Anonymous8:50 PM

    Bob Dylan #2. He couldn't sing worth &^$&^$. Its just his name. Prince before Elvis, are you kidding me? Rolling Stones? Jagger couldn't sing worth beans either. Just the name again. Rediculous.

  41. veejnar6:21 AM

    Where are the souls of music : Sir David Gilmour, Mark Knofler? Who made this fukin' list?

  42. Anonymous9:18 PM

    i know i'll get hate for this, but i think Michael Jackson is a bit too high at #3. i say this because the man never did anything great musically in the last 17 or 18 years of his life. sure, he was amazing back in the 80s, but his last good album came out way back in 1991. after that, he released only two crappy albums (one which was a double album with a CD of greatest hits) and a crappy remix album. his last album came out way back in 2001. so yeah, i just don't think he did enough music-wise during the last 20 years to be ranked that high. maybe 20 years ago i could have agreed that he be ranked #3.