Ladies and gentlemen, I have an audition coming up for a rock band profiled not too long ago right here. The name of the band is Bang Camaro. Several of you were skeptical of my insane stamp of approval for this band. And you will all be sitting at home while I might be touring the United States and beyond. Bang Camaro is a rock band that needs singers who can hit high notes, be willing to tour and bring massive amounts of rock bravado and prowess to the situation.
I have been known to do that on occasion. I have worn red leather pants that I had to sweat myself out of. I have worn flannel a decade too late. I have rocked beads, rings and necklaces that I may or may not have made in art class out of silverware. I have had several smashed and semi portly cougars drooling and wrestling semi naked in front of me on stage, I have had drinks and fingers thrown at me. I have had requests for Bon Jovi slurred out in a wasted phrase in my half dead right ear. I have had orang-ish soccer moms with vodka breath and just- bought boobs fawning over me. I have taped my own lyrics to floors, to ceilings,to pianos to the back of a bass player and to the closest monitor. I have always had a sharpie on hand in case some lucky lady wants my name on their chest. I always had a song waiting for them on their way in and on their way to the exits. I have I have been laughed at and loved...I've seen a million faces and I've rocked...just over 5500 of them. I believe in rock. I believe I can still bring something to the before and afterparty. I will bring what I know.
I am going to do this. Wish me luck.