Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Why and Why Not

Why is Slash on American Idol? Is he bored, completely high, or is the circulation to his cerebral cortex just plain cut off while he wears that top hat thingy. And by the way, Slash is a guitarist. Six strings plus amplifier...what the fuck is he coaching SINGERS for. Why can't he concentrate on finding a fucking replacement for Scott Weiland in his below average background stripper soundtrack band Velvet Revolver....instead of "helping" a gaggle of sexually confused Hot Topic shoppers figure out how to be "ROCK"?? Nothing can help them..they learned everything from church choirs and the malls of America. Why did he do this?
Was he getting brownie points from his kids who may be fans of this obscene show? How I hate when rock stars do that....stop ponying up to your brat-tastic brood and get them strapped to instruments and locked in their rooms where they belong! Shred and then time for bed, Pointdexter..or Cash, Hoss...whatever your name is.

Don't let your kids watch American Idol, Slash. What's next...Lemmy taking his grandkid to see High School Musical fucking Volume 7 for christ sakes?

Why is this news!!! Why do I care????

Why is BON JOVI headlining the New Orleans JAZZ Festival? The only thing remotely jazzy about him is the horn in his Beemer's steering wheel. Why did he open with Living on a Prayer? that to remind the wealthy tourists(instead of the locals who have not a jambalaya pot to piss in and couldn't afford to go) of Katrina again? Dude ,that is soooo 2007.Put your schlong back in the hole in the dike wall,Mr. Perfect Hair...! The only thing you should be headlining is the Landfill Festival in Whereveritreeksmost, New Jersey.

Why did Wilco name their yet to be released album..Wilco, The Album? I love these guys but...who feel asleep at the Moleskin on this one? I mean this??? From the man who titles songs such as Spiders(Kidsmoke),Theologians and Hell is Chrome? Jeff...cmon, man...some of us LUV SAT words.

Why did my most favorite Rock Festival: The Austin City Limits Festival SELL OUT THEIR THREE DAY PASSES IN RECORD TIME this year..when the headliners are Pearl Jam, The Beastie Boys and The(ONCE- A -FUCKING- GAIN) Dave Matthews Band.?????? Look around your office, call/text everyone you there anyone left ON EARTH who hasn't seen one of these THREE BANDS. I just don't get it.....WHEN is DAVE MATTHEWS GOING TO BE OVER!!!!! When are people under 50 going to stop wearing tie dyes, khaki docker shorts and tight baseball hats to outdoor events? I'll tell you when....when DAVE MATTHEWS PACKS IT IN, That's when!!!

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
Why can't we be friends?
Why don't we do it in the road?
Why does love got to be so sad?
Why can't I touch it?
Why can't I have you?
Why don't we get drunk?
Why don't you find out for yourself?
Why can't this be love?
Why go?

Why Not tell me who sung those 11 "why songs"...for a real slick no prize in your honor?


  1. Anonymous7:37 PM

    Ok here goes nothing:

    Why does it hurt when I pee? Frank Zappa
    Why are there so many songs about rainbows?I think this is from the Muppets
    Why can't we be friends? don't know
    Why don't we do it in the road? Beatles
    Why does love got to be so sad?don't know
    Why can't I touch it? Buzzcocks
    Why can't I have you?I think this is the Cars
    Why don't we get drunk? don't know
    Why don't you find out for yourself? don't know
    Why can't this be love? Van Hagar!
    Why go? Pearl Jam
    And you forgot "Why Can't I be You" by the Cure!

    -your friend and wife, P

  2. 1. Zappa
    2. muppets
    3. War
    4. beatles
    5. Derek and the dominos
    6. Buzzcocks
    7. Cars
    8. David Allen Coe
    9. Talking heads
    10. Van Hagar
    11. Pearl Jam

  3. Mike.....9 out of might be in the lead.

  4. "Anonymous added Smashmouth, Derek and the Dominoes, Buffett and Pamela's 7 correct.But did not leave a comment here!...Three are correct which leaves Anonymous with 10 correct......will "Anonymous" win? I might take off a point for not commenting here....that's my prerogative, S.