My wife says I'm Mr. Negative. I say I'm Mr. glass-half-empty, but I drank the first half and it was grain alcohol or absynthe. It really depends on the day..the music news headlines, if somebody is texting while driving in the fast lane in front of me..or...you know, normal every day piss me off stuff. So I never know what I'm gonna get. But I've never been in a physical altercation in my life(except for that time my Dad chased me around the front yard after my killer toga party), never been in a real time shouting match, hell I never even got detention or a speeding ticket.
So where does it come from? This so called "negativity"
Is it anger or just good old frustration or NEITHER....I mean this place is called CIRCLE OF FITS!! But is my "negativity" turning away readers? Hell I just want to talk to more people whether you agree with me here or not.
I am an artist, lazy, tri-polar... sometimes suffering...but not angry, I used to write lyrics that one would deem angry, but it was the 90s and it was a real blood boiling , frantic nomadic-flannel frocked- find myself time in my life. I might still be on that journey a decade and a half later.
I used to think that I had taken so many hard hits in my 20s that I was entitled to feel angry...but is that the origin? No.
I had a great childhood..two great parents back in the day. They can't stand each other now, but were caring, focused parents who allowed for creative expression, were not overbearing, didn't force us into clubs or over activity or sports and maybe gave us too MUCH freedom BACK THEN. Is my childhood the origin? How could it be? Nothing bad really happened (except for the time my friend Brian cracked his head open in my yard and I ran away after watching his arterial spray cover my kitchen floor as my MOM held a towel over it.) I assume Brian is fine, now. He was 7 then.
No, I don't believe it. I don't think I'm negative. Here's what I think:
I prefer to think of myself as a critic...a life long critic of everything from fashion choices,relationship choices, lifestyle choices, religious choices to art,poetry,humor, music and film.
I am a critic not because I am an expert or all white bread and bourgeois ..I am a critic because of a blurry concoction of MY OWN bad choices, my membership in a wild array of different groups of peers during formative years and my tight grip on common sense after years of never seeing the value of it. And I love me some music and some writing! It might be as delicately simple as that.
If I am negative here as well as everywhere else..I guess its because I can hide behind this keyboard and continue to complain...err critique music, life and a life of music. As a matter of fact, it energizes me...it makes me feel POSITIVE.
I don't really know what I was trying to convey with this post...but I sure feel good now. Have a great day!
Tomorrow.... A list of Albums that really suck no matter what the critics say...