Friday, October 30, 2009

The Scariest Album Covers Ever

I can't sleep, my feet are corpse cold and I'm forcing myself to blog about something Halloween-centric.Yet its been hard to get into the spirit of this candy coated holiday. We haven't been invited to an adult costume parties because most of the adults are "doing it for the kids" these days. I wouldn't mind bobbing for apples in a big tub of Jagermeister and yawning at all of the Kate Gosselin and Dead Michael Jackson costumes while I'm at it. But as we get older it seems that we put our kids in in the Halloween spotlight.....sooooo....    I am slightly peeved that my son's school does not "celebrate" Halloween. They are having an event called "The Fall Festival" in all of the early childhood classes...While the older kids do get to celebrate with costumes and monitored revelry, the toddlers do not. Could it be that in the opinion of the administration that 3 and 4 year olds should not be reminded of anything that might scare them in any way? (ie seeing their classmates dressed up as elmos, spidermen, princesses and octomoms? I don't get it? There will be some songs sung and a celebration of the change of season, but not one candy corn on the premises.  I think it would be ok to gently scare the little ones if it was done with laughter and not pure fear. Daddy looks pretty scary the morning after bobbing for Jager apples and that might have to be good enough for me this year.

So I did a list last year of the top scariest songs and this year I'm going with album covers this year...without further explanation, I present the Scariest Album Covers Ever.

A classic and simple graphic of a shadowy horned skull still sends chills. It also keeps many tattoo artists in business.

Black Sabbath-Born Again
Devil Babies are so cute! When you burp them, little flames get coughed out. Their diapers are always full of human remains and poop that looks like hellflame ash, so be careful..those little nuggets are like shit cinders. Hot!Hot! Hot! I couldn't find one lousy lullaby on this album though,which left me with one cranky little Beelzubaby.

High On Fire-Surrounded By Thieves
A horde of red eyed, netherworldly viking demons charging through fire with axe and spear...right at you. The start of a really bad day. Demons need a hearty breakfast or they get all bunged up and start apocalypses.

The Beatles-Sgt. Peppers
Nostalgia brings up scary memories of me being 8 or 9 and already knowing about the abundance of alleged death symbolism on this album cover. I remember seeing the floating hand hovering over Paul's head and getting freaked so bad that I would run past the stereo system in the room if I was alone in the house. That creshendo of epic strings at the end of A Day In the Life didn't help either.

Lynyrd Skynyrd-Street Survivors(original cover)
The image of the band lined up on a street that is engulfed in flames was an eerie foreshadowing of what was to come with the plane crash that ended the lives of Ronnie, Steve and Cassie. This posthumous release in 1977 also contained the song "That Smell" which touted the dangers of self destruction as a warning. Yet it was impossible for the band to prepare itself for what happened. The look in Steve Gaines' eyes  (center) as his head is wrapped in fire is enough to scare the daylights out of anyone. The cover was of course, redone before its release , with the omission of flames and the band shrouded in black.

This is the fucking scariest album cover of all time. I'm shrieking with a slight lisp right now, but still scared shitless. Its so campy, so tongue in cheek, right Glamboat? I'm scared for you, scared you'll be doing shopping mall gigs and holiday variety shows chock full of the dregs on the d-list  from where you came.

Alrighty then girls and ghouls! Send me your own personal choices and be sure to include the graphic if you can!

Happy Hollow Weenies everyone!


  1. I can imagine you running past Sgt. Peppers! HA. I have that original Skynard album cover.
    Is "Killers" by Iron Maiden too obvious? I used to get scared by the Sticky Fingers album cover.

    As for Adam - you know I think he's dreamy.

  2. I always thought the Jethro Tull Aqualung cover and the title song were a bit on the scary side. Especially if I was some little girl running in frilly panties. He would have scared me to death! I wish I knew how to attach the cover but alas I am a bit computer challenged in that way.

  3. For me, it's Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.

  4. Adam Lambert looks like a cross between Carrot-Top's younger brother and the "dude" that sang that rotten "You Spin Me Round" song in the 80's.


  5. I find that Limp Bizkit's Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water is not only scary but also deeply, deeply disturbing! Who on earth thought this was a good idea for an album cover? :-)

    Also, depending on your tolerance for insects, Infest from Papa Roach could be a bit scary!

  6. Great Comments....agree on the Sabbath Bloody Sabbath...and Aqualung...theres a guy in my uppity neighborhood who reminds me of Aqualung..just sits on a bench smoking through his burnt orange mustache..watching all the pretty panties run...

    Lets just say Everything about Limp Bizshit it scary...

  7. Mob Rules - that cover used to scare the shite out of me. Very disturbing. And along the lines of Adam Lambert's album, check out this doozy - whoosh! -

  8. Anonymous2:29 AM

    Scariest Album Art Yet