Wednesday, October 14, 2009

What The X#@%!! Is Wrong With You People

What the Fuck is Wrong With You People!!!????

Hold your YOU PEOPLE, I mean the rest of you in the good old USA who have gone completely, culturally limp. I mean the bulk of you who take the middle of the golden road and cling to it like if you didn't, you would slip toward the ditch on either side and be washed away to the burning loins of Hell. Shame on you, the rest of you. If your safe soft bellies were punctured, styrofoam packing peanuts and high fructose corn syrup would seep out.

This week's Billboard Chart:

1. Michael Bublé - "Crazy Love" - 132,000 (debut, in 3 days of sales)
2. Kiss - "Sonic Boom" - 108,000 (debut, Wal-Mart exclusive)
3. Toby Keith - "American Ride" - 90,000 (debut)
4. Barbra Streisand - "Love Is the Answer" - 75,000 (down 58%)
5. Jay-Z - "The Blueprint 3" - 65,000 (down 27%)
6. Luke Bryan - "Doin' My Thing" - 58,000 (debut)
7. Mariah Carey - "Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel" - 54,000 (down 68%)
8. Miley Cyrus - "The Time of Our Lives" EP - 47,000 (down 14%)
9. Backstreet Boys - "This Is Us" - 42,000 (debut)
10. Breaking Benjamin - "Dear Agony" - 41,000 (down 69%)

Around this time in 1990
1. "Because I Love You (The Postman Song)" — Stevie B. 4:22
2. "The Power" — Snap 3:40
3. "Cradle of Love" — Billy Idol 4:41
4. "Pray" — MC Hammer 5:13
5. "Hold On" — Wilson Phillips 3:42
6. "Unskinny Bop" — Poison 3:49
7. "Step by Step" — New Kids On The Block 4:29
8. "Pump up the Jam" — Technotronic 3:38
9. "I Wish It Would Rain Down" — Phil Collins 5:30
10. "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection" — Nelson 3:54

Progress is dead...I'm going to barricade myself in my, I'm going to dig a deep system of tunnels and chambers under my house to hide out and cut my ears off.... take my books, a copy of Exile on Main Street and my worn slippers and not come to the surface until the apocalypse has happened and all of the malls in the middle of the country have been leveled to dust.


  1. What the hell is progress? Were you promised some sort of bettering? Who are you to say what's better. It's all opinion anyway. What's pumped out by the industry isn't music. It's product. It sells. They make money. They eat. If you want music, you go another route. You're looking at Billboard? Seriously?

  2. Mr. Edlen...I refer you to my blog banner...which clearly says "you are entitled to my opinion on rock and roll and what ever I can slay with SARCASM. Chill out.

  3. I didnt do it....Honest!

  4. Snark begets snark, ma'man. :)

  5. Many years ago, the patient (the music business) had a very tricky operation that saw the removal of its heart and guts. The brain was replaced with one belonging to a marketing hack.

    Thanks to this procedure, the Billboard charts have since been loaded down with sad, clownish commercials made by prefab phonies who have, like the corporate entity that sponsors them, no heart, no guts and zero soul.

    I do smile briefly when a good band breaks the surface and grabs the attention of the masses, though. It's just not happening as often as it used to. It made me sick to look at those top ten listings and see the same mediocrity littering the charts.