Saturday, December 05, 2009

Facial Hair Apparent: Great Rock Beards

I've seen all good people turn their heads and say I'm too la/zy to shave today....Well...Its time for my annual "lets try to grow a beard again" contest with myself. I'm incapable of growing a full beard. It never fills in, and I end up looking like I'm sporting a spotty clump of spaced- out goat hairs or one of those Hollywood glue and go beards. I'm practically hairless except for my head. In coming to terms with my masculinity, I always felt shorted..follically challenged on the chin except for a flavor saver that looks like a wire brush. But every year I give it a go. The longest I've gone without a shave is around 36 days. Right now I'm right around 18 I've decided that I'm going razor free until 10,000 visits get tallied here, or until I buy the next volume of Now That's What I Call Music...whatever comes first. I'll post pics of my progress for you to hurl insults at.

I've always admired a good beard on a musician, who usually goes beard free. It shakes things up a bit, keeps the women at bay and gets a variety of foods stuck in a mustache that said musician doesn't know how to use or groom. Now when I say beard on a musician, I don't mean Elton John's short lived marriage in the 80s, I mean facial hair.

heres a picture list of cool rock beards (with no ZZTop allowed)

Doesn't Kim Thayil look like Osama?Poor guy, thats probably why we haven't seen him in years.  I wonder if Bob Weir gets alot of tofu stuck in his? Kerry King from Slayer looks like he could stab an unruly fan with his beard. I bet nobody has seen a pic of Mick with a beard unless it had a leg on each side of it. Trent Reznor looks like he's working a shaker at a Rainbow Gathering. Page and Plant look like Russian novelists. Jim M. looks like he just struck gold from the inside of a dumpster.

I think I'll go for Macca's look. But I'll need some black spray paint, testosterone pills and some freshly plucked back hair from a few Italian buddies of mine.

lets hear from you!


  1. I am the other way, can grow a beard but dont have much left on top. The problem with my beard is that it gives away my age due to, in my opinion, premature gray. Oh well, 52 is the new 42, right?

  2. At the onset of a six week tour of the states a few years back, my old bandmates decided to have a 'beard contest' Basically that just meant: Nobody shaves. I personally didn't like the idea of having a beard in the hot summer while travelling state to state in a van, so i decided to grow only the moustache and shave the rest as often as i normally would. Over the next few weeks my 'Just-stache' came in quite nicely. By the time we got home i had a serious Magnum PI going on...
    But no, i've never had more than a 5 day, i don't give a shit beard.

  3. you really kill me....I have never seen Mick with a beard, that is pretty amazing. I agree about P and P. Poor, Jim, those weren't his best years. You're just to funny.

    Not to make you feel any less masculine, but my 18 year old son had a beard similar to Macca's when he was in jail and not shaving. It was amazing to me to watch that thing grow. I hated it on him, he looked so OLD and it covered up his handsome face. I personally prefer my men mostly smooth with maybe a little something on the chest and a 5 o'clock shadow (in your case it may be a 5 week shadow?)

  4. Thanks Barb for making me feel more like a prepubescent teen than I ever did.

  5. I grew an awesome beard when I was 19 and another one at 29.

    I looked like a Muppet. hahahaha

    My best work was a porn star, fu-manchu stache complete with Zappa soul patch. That was ten years ago...ten years gone...

  6. OH my ! A much innovative list, Seano.. Good thinking there! And oh my ! Kim does look a complete 'Rocking' Osama ... I also used to grow beards, but the above cuts just redefined my notions of what a beard could be !

  7. But Seano - you look like JM and MH - what more do you want?

  8. That photo of Dimebag - I seriously thought it was Janis Joplin with a beard Photoshopped onto her. Look at it again!

  9. Beards are funny. Are Any of them Hasidic? Their beards always rock and never go out of style. God won't let them apparently.