Sounds so self-important. I mean who the fuck am I and why do you care what I did or did not do this past year? Maybe you're in one of those fly-over states and you googled sarcasm, humor or anger management and it sent you here, and since Wal-Mart, Clear Channel and Taco Bell provide most of your weekend entertainment, you were intrigued. You can't spell intrigued, but you know what it means. You want to live vicariously through me..in which case your plight is much worse than we thought. You read on and come across this list:
Seano's Best Experiences of 2009
10) Watching a woman pee in a bottle while driving 75 miles an hour: Yes, she still had one hand on the wheel. No, the 15 men in a touring band van did not see where the bottle went. Yes, she was Miss November in the Countrywide TrailerPark Gal Calendar. No I'll never forget it.
9) Being Held at the Canadian Border: If you would like to see the view of Niagara Falls from the Canadian side, but then change your mind at the last minute and do an illegal U turn before the bridge with a van full of hairy rock musicians, one of whom is carrying no ID and is from New Zealand, be prepared to answer a shitload of questions from your own US customs agents while they search your van. The shitload may also be in your boxer briefs by the time they are done with you.
8) Valient Thorr and Red Fang at Kung Fu Necktie, Philadelphia.- I became a Thorrior on this night..there may be no other live experience quite like the one Valient Thorr dole out nightly. A blur of beards,blood on denim, a rush of bang to the head and a mist of flop sweat from Valient Himself as I manned the front row. Red Fang as the opening band turned out to be the 2nd loudest experience I've ever had behind seeing Fastway open for Rush on the Grace Under Pressure Tour over 20 years ago. Hail Tinnitus!
7) A flock of vultures invades my neighbors tree: This should not have happened, but it did about a month ago. I've known as a human how dead it can be in the suburbs, but not dead enough to make vultures circle with their own culinary need...most of us here have no flavor anyhow....but there they were, about 30 hulking masses, shadows on the branches at dusk...and 45 minutes later, they were gone.
6) Performing on the Purple Rain Stage: Otherwise known as the First Avenue Club in Minneapolis, Bang Camaro was lucky enough to open for Electric Six on one evening this past April...there was no choir member coiffed in Jheri Curl, or Morris Day cheering us on in a yellow zoot suit from the balcony, but the energy of his purple highness could be felt through the haze of the smoke machine and the roar of the crowd.
5) A Photographic Fluke at the Wilco Show- I write live reviews for another website and have been lucky enough to get a press level Photo pass at several shows. In July I had my first photo assignment to get live photos of Wilco at their Delaware show. I had my camera and assumed that I was allowed to take pics anywhere out in the depths of the crowd. I had no idea that with a press pass, you are allowed to be IN FRONT of the front row barriers for the first three songs, but soon found out before it was too late. I was the last "press" photographer escorted into place in front as Wilco's set began. The thrill of seeing Mr. Tweedy close enough to touch, sure had me reeking of fanboy. I snapped 4 photos....and my camera battery died. I had no replacement and had to fake shooting photos for the rest of the three song agreement. FAIL.
4) Getting my Kid- in- a- Candy- Store on at SXSW: I love Austin, TX. If you love music, and you have not been there...then you really don't love music. You can't be in the club. You don't know the password. Just stay home and re- evaluate yourself... SXSW is ground zero for music afficionados, performers and critics. 5000 bands playing in 40 clubs within in a half mile radius for three days straight. All genres, Shiner Beer, secret shows and organized chaos in and around 6th Street in March. Bang Camaro did two shows there this past year but we stayed for the whole weekend. I was able to see bands I wanted to see and stumble on a remarkable array of others.
3) The Rainbow Bar and Grill- Yeah, I've been to Los Angeles before, but never to the legendary Rainbow Room until this past April. I knew the history...Led Zep knocking back vodkas and holding court in this booth, Guns and Roses or Black Sabbath passed out in that one, John Lennon losing his weekend there, John Belushi eating his last meal there, Lemmy a more than frequent patron....but to be such a rock fan and to finally walk around those booths, checking out the memorabilia, imagining the scene in the 70s..smelling the pleasant pungent-ness of the grody carpeted floor and imagining if it was puke piss, cum or blood..That's Rock and Roll, people...and.oh what a night it was!
2) Them Crooked Vultures @ The Electric Factory in Philly: You only live once, and if I had to over pay for anything this year, I knew it was gonna be for this show. John Paul Jones in a medium sized club, with the same bass pedals he used on No Quarter, and he also brings out a Keytar???? Oh yeah and Mr Grohl and Mr. Homme thrown in for outstanding awesome-ness.???? OK ,then Turns out I bought 2 tix for 70 BUCKS! My wife could not go...so I went alone and I got in line with the hopes of selling the ticket for face value to a dingy scalper ..but I did not want to get out of line...so I waited too long and KEPT THE EXTRA TICKET instead.???!!! But that ridiculous move was thwarted by the sheer roximus maximus of the show...my fav of 2009...
1) The Jimmy Kimmel Show- Bang Camaro plays on the Jimmy Kimmel Show in April and I was privy to be there as one of the "choir" members...living the dream 10 years past a rockers prime and rocking it extra spesh with the men I shared the stage with.....Thanks Bryn, Alex, Doz, Pete, Steve, Nick, Rod, Morgan, Richie,Andre, Jason for that and all of the triumphs and trials of the spring tour. A memory worth preserving for my son, the pride of my loins and a rock star in waiting....
And how was your year..did you get the DVD Box Set of Law and Order Season 2? Did you Jazzercise that last ass bulge off? Did you recycle enough? Did you take the wallpaper down in the powder room? Let me know...............Seano