Thursday, September 10, 2009

Nothing Rhymes With Angst

Would You Rather:

Listen to only Gene Simmons or only Glen Beck for the rest of your life?

Speak in auto tune or have tourettes for the rest of your life?

Have to Read only Danielle Steel or only Star magazine " "?

Get free tickets to only Steve Miller band concerts for life or work for Live Nation "" ""?

Spend a day with a swine flu stricken Gwen Stefani or Madonna with horrible B.O and a chin boil?

Be the best ukelele player in the world or have a voice like Freddy Mercury but no teeth and a scarily protruding Adam's apple?

See the Gosselins or the Duggars or Octomom shipped off to a country where you are punished for having more than 4 children or be happy for them?

Live without ever seeing Bret Michael's do rags or Lil Waynes teeth?

Spend an entire drunken night with Angelina while wearing only a sopping wet and full pair of Depends or Brad Pitt while wearing only an over padded bra and Granny panties?

Get a lifetime supply of turtle wax or a lifetime membership to the Blink- 182 fan club?

Go backstage with the Stones in 1972 or on stage with the Stones in 2009?

Tell Jay Z his wife is butt ugly or spray paint "you suck donkey balls" on Kid Rock's American flag?

Push a button and be able to disintegrate Tila Tequila,Posh Spice, the cast of Gossip Girl, Nicole Richie,Simon Cowell,Gwyneth Paltrow and hubby,any future cast member of Dancing With the Stars, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, the creative director of VH1,Jennifer Aniston, Mario Lopez,Tom Brady,Ryan Seacrest, Tyra Banks,Ellen Degenerate, Chris Brown, anyone with "Lil" in their name, anyone walking around a mall sweating and wearing a trenchcoat, any postal worker who "will take their time, like it or not", any two people who take up more than six feet of sidewalk space, any grown woman who brings a child to a 10pm R rated movie, anyone who throws a wrapper out a car window, any Three Doors Down/Seven Mary Three/Third Eye Blind/Three Days Grace/Four Non Blondes/Five For Fighting/311/Matchbox 20 fan, anyone still wearing a tie dye anything for any reason, anyone with a dreamcatcher hanging from their rear view mirror, anyone with a "visualize whirled peas" bumper sticker",anyone besides a catcher on an MLB team wearing a baseball hat backwards or to the side, anyone with bangs, anyone using a pit bull or an obscenely loud car stereo as a substitute for a tiny dick, anyone using a guitar with a color other than black, white, gray, silver, clear, wood grain,bright orange or sunburst, any one who has a neck tattoo or love/hate letters tattooed on their knuckles, any human who texts more than they talk yet never think before they speak........or be blind, deaf and dumb/ not born yet?

Read Circle of Fits or the Drudge Report every day?

Tell Seano to stop his bitching, don't sweat the small stuff(everything I just wrote) and stop and smell the roses/glove/gasoline or let whomever deserves it, have it?

Toodles, seano


  1. I still wear tie-dye occasionally and am damn proud of it! LOL

  2. Um, I have a tie-dye tshirt with a peace sign on it, can we still be friends? But I think I can agree with the rest. You, seano, are one weird but cdreative dude. Love your filmstip a few good laughs :0 OH MY GOD you were hot. Ok, I didn't mean were like you aren't now....but you know...youth and all.

  3. OK.. you can all keep your tie dyes for Peace gatherings, family reunions ans special occasions...but you must grow out your bangs...people tend to look like they've had a wrestling match with a weedwhacker.

  4. Keep up the good work. Most every no talent, pseudo celebrity mentioned here deserves to be shipped off to a remote area where there is no possibility that they'll ever be able to get near a microphone or camera again.

  5. I don't have bangs, thank goodness.