Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Un-Aerosmith Idle

Finally...a rant shows up, bumps me as it walks by, smelling like a mixture of Coke and a new fragrance called "PitchyDawg" and taunts me to push it around. First, let me show you this picture:



Steven Tyler has joined the cast of American Idol.  Let that sink in for a minute.

The rumors were true. One of the toxic twins....Lead singer of Aerosmith...well, probably Former lead singer of Aerosmith now...has joined the cast of this debacle of a show as a judge.

This show, that has dumbed down an American music listening audience into moronic,mediocrity slumming consumers of shit rate entertainment...fucking glorified karaoke...and made the back yard church stars who sing this shit famous long enough to get a 2nd tier role in an off Broadway musical or a tour one step below fucking Disney on Ice.

Steven Tyler joined this show, putting away 30 plus years of being in the same great band, nullifying the time ,sweat and the everlasting stamp on rock history with at least 4 classic albums and 6 more very good ones....quite possibly ruining any bit of love, trust and brotherhood left between he and Joe Perry....after he fell off a fucking stage and decided to recuperate for a year while conjuring up plans to write an autobiography, do a solo album.....and alienate the rest of Aerosmith, making them wait on his shifty decision to come back for another tour.......THEN HE DECIDES TO DO THIS??????????

I just don't get it. Does he need the scratch? Fuck no. Cmon...how much does one man really need?? Does he really think this fading show, which even the bocephuses in the fly- over states have stopped watching , NEEDS HIM?   What can he bring to it????? YOU CANT MAKE MUSICIANS OUT OF PEOPLE WITH LITTLE OR NO TALENT!! YOU EITHER HAVE IT OR YOU DON'T.  WHY ARE MILLIONS of PEOPLE SO EASILY ENTERTAINED?????   I BLAME YOU FOR THIS. ALL OF YOU.!!!!!! EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE FUCKING FAMOUS NOW. ITS BECAUSE OF YOU REALITY TV WATCHING JABBA THE HUTS ADDICTED TO BIG GULPS AND RINGTONES AND DANCING INSTEAD OF WALKING AND COVERS OF COVER SONGS PERFORMED BY COLORFULLY DRESSED ACTORS ON NETWORK TV AND BUYING DISPOSABLE SHIT COVERED SINGLES FROM APPLE AND READING STAR MAGAZINE ON YOUR IPADS WHILE DANCING FROM TACO BELL TO TARGET!!!!!

GO BACK TO YOUR CHURCH CHOIRS
GO BACK TO YOUR MALL TOURS
GO BACK TO YOUR FIST PUMPING
GO BACK TO YOUR INCESSANT TEXTING ABOUT NOTHING
GO BACK TO BELIEVING YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND TIN EARED CO WORKERS WHO BELIEVE IN YOUR BARGAIN BASEMENT OFF KEY SUMMER CAMP ASSEMBLY OF A VOICE...

GO DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT WITH YOUR LIVES ...STOP LINING UP FOR THESE AUDITIONS LIKE OVER EMPHASIZED VOCAL GYMNASTS, STOP FEEDING  THE FAT and DROOLING LEMMINGS AND INFLUENCING PEOPLE LIKE .....

Steven Tyler.   Way to go Steven.  You have LESS THAN ZERO credibility now.

10 comments:

  1. I heard about this about a month ago. Still shaking my head in disbelief....

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  2. I took the Steven Tyler poster off my bedroom wall.

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  3. I get the appeal of American Idol... I don't like it, don't agree with it either... but I "get it."

    It's been going on since long before the TV show existed... In the 19th century it was the rise to wealth and power of fresh off the boat paupers who would become captains of American Industry during our industrial revolution.

    There's something innately American about rags to riches stories (or even JC Penney to Saks Fifth Avenue stories) one of the fibers of American culture and identity is the relative ease of social mobility vs. the lack thereof in other nations and cultures... It was part of the draw for all of that mass immigration in the late 19th and into the early 20th century.

    American Idol is basically the embodiment of all that for those of us Americans who believe we can sing (whether or not we actually can!).

    That being said imho, it's a horribly misguided train-wreck of a representation of American social mobility. It's the fast food version of what our 19th century Captains of Industry did in their rise to fortune.

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  4. But Seano, how do you REALLY feel about it?

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  5. Like all good institutions, the people in them should be sedated and behind wired-glass windows and their only contact with the outside world is with those selfless people who feed them and clean up their shit. Otherwise, move on people, there is definitely nothing to see here.

    YourZ

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  6. OOh! A rant! Fabulous!
    The thought makes me shiver a little inside also.
    Too many things like that are happening lately ='(

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  7. Tyler hasn't really been relevant since the late 70's - the moves of this mutant should fool no one, and definitely shouldn't disappoint. Starting with "Pump" you started seeing credits on Aerosmith songs being given to professional song writers. Give me a break.

    Honestly, I doubt there's one Aerosmith album that doesn't have a cover or two, and some massive song writing help from a "professional". There's no album that's just Tyler/Perry credits. Fact.

    I used to ADORE this band, it was all part of my Boston brainwashing. Shit, I still get a special feeling when I hear anything off of "Toy's in the Attic". Heck, Linda and Tom took me to my first show, and it was an Aerosmith show. But it didn't take me long to realize that they were more showmen than artists. It's too bad Perry found his muse in Tyler - he may actually have a lot more cred than he does today, instead he's been writing soundtrack music for such cinematic master pieces as "Armageddon".

    My winded point is this, Tyler's a hack, who snorted away any talent he may have ever had 40 years ago. He wrote a few good songs, sang blues with real style and soul - but in the end this is what he's always been. A shifty hustler who's about getting a buck and himself some adoration.

    Aerosmith turned into Kiss without the makeup long ago, and have been a brand with no musical substance, and despite what people think, Kiss fucking sucks, and so has Aerosmith for decades now.

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  8. Derek. first of all congrats on the nuptials! Second of all...yes Aerosmith have used co-writers for a very long time and Night in the Ruts was the last very good album they released. I guess I have a special place for the guy because I spent an hour in his dressing room with my sister in 2006, just watching as they talked to each other, about life and cancer. he held her hand the entire time and gave her undivided attention, before a show. She had always been his biggest fan, and he went above and beyond what had been arranged for her beforehand(just a meet and greet)

    I'm puzzled and disappointed and torn. But mostly disgusted with America for making this show so popular that it has the power to throw money around to people who know better than to be a judge.

    I love your rant! and wondered if it was in any way influenced by the fact that the Sawx are 6 games out of a wild card spot?

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  9. I am in full scale mourning over the Sawx season, I'm convinced someone was sitting in their muggy apartment in the Bronx, burning secret sacred candles and stuffing pin after pin into some decrepit voo doo doll - because the injuries the Sawx suffered this year were way over the top, and yes - that's my best excuse, lol.

    That's amazing what Tyler did for your Sis and Fam, definitely shows he's a pretty awesome guy with a realistic heart, no offense was meant in my rant, and apologize if any was given - I guess I'm just disappointed in what they've become.

    I still don't think he's been relevant for a really long time though, he's always been kinda like the poor mans Mick Jagger, I think after their initial drug induced break-up they never recovered (if becoming exceedingly wealthy playing music isn't recovering...)

    I will say the blues cover album they released a couple years ago was actually pretty decent/fun.

    For the music industry it's unfortunetly the middle ground that gets popular, and "American Idol" is the prime example of dumbed down soulless fodder. Thankfully (for now) we have the internet to help battle shows like this, that's why I believe in Net Neutrality so much, once that's gone - everything will look like a suburban food court, stale, bland, and the same.

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