Friday, March 06, 2009

Chris, You Couldn't Be More Wrong

One of the signs of the approaching apocalypse is upon us....The non- awaited release of Chris Cornell's new album "Scream" hits stores next week. And the shit storm of negative feedback has left the former grunge deity scrambling for a semblance of sanity and answers for the faithful who want to know why....Why do you need to have Timbaland produce your album, Chris? Why have you embraced hip hop beats and smooth grooves? Why perpetuate this madness even further? Chris had this to say to Rolling Stone about the backlash. “At this point, it’s all theory. It’s like when I got together with the Rage Against the Machine guys for Audioslave and there was all this talk about how it was sacrilege from Rage fans, Soundgarden fans — even old ladies on the street would come up to me and say, ‘That’s a terrible idea’! Maybe I’m an optimist or just an idiot but I really think the fans will come around to the concept,” he says. “I could sit down and make a wall-to-wall guitar album tomorrow. I think it’s important for fans to know that but if I’m doing something that inspires me musically then I think it will inspire someone else too.”

Do you think we are close minded, Chris? Do you want to believe that we will "come around to the concept" of a monumental banshee wailer of hard rockdom turning his head on rock when it needs a strong voice MOST to embrace a genre full of crunked out and criminal bling-ulists fronting a studio concocted belch of beats? Fuck no, Chris...Nobody in your target audience gives a shit about dancing. They want to rock, the economy is in the shitter, the want a release with some wail, distortion, pomp and circumstance!...OK,throw in some strings, an ambient bed, some soft acoustics here and there to showcase your voice, that's fine. We rockers can take it down a notch. But we will not be following you "to the club", amigo.

This will be a fiasco, brother. And I love you. I hoarded Badmotorfinger as a bitter bible for years, I fluttered in and around Euphoria Morning with aplomb,I made jewelry to match your jewelry! I think "Seasons" from the Singles soundtrack is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. I have traveled with you. I looked California while Feeling Minnesota, man! I was there when you spewed out Cop Killer to us Lollapaloozans in 1991! I understand your need for inspiration. But my journey ends here. I can't raise the roof by lowering the rock bar so low that I have to shake it just to make it. Wake me when its over, when all I can hear are birds chirping and angel wings flapping.


  1. I love Soundgarden almost as much as you but - Pipe down, brother! He DID the heavy thing. He DID the guitar thing.
    He's bored and wants to try something different. You dont really want another Soundgarden album do you? Im listen to the "Scream" tune right now and yes, its different but whatever, its not horrible. Enjoy the music that he has done that you enjoy - and turn the page.
    oh...and have a good weekend!

  2. No, No No you're missing the point. This is wayyyyy too much of a left turn. So much that he will alienate a large portion of his fan base, who may just never return. You can piss off your fan base by deviating from your given blueprint from time to time..trying something new.and he has since he left Soundgarden..I'm cool with that. But this is a disaster and you know it. It has NO element of who he is. Bored or not...this reeks of someone who has too much money and lives really clean and just wants to jump genres because he thinks he can.

  3. Agreed. These little journeys into trendy beats and auto-tuned monotony are generally for "artists" that can't write very well. Cornell doesn't require this type of an aural makeover. I don't think that he has to tread the same musical ground each time out, but this seems like a poor fit.

  4. Would I dare to guess you don't like his version of Billie Jean?

    I hope Chris Googles himself, finds this post and takes sit to heart. I haven't heard anyone mention Badmotorfinger in years! I was in love with a guy who turned me on to them, so of course I loved them too :)

  5. I like artists that take chances, but...this is one that isnt on my radar. Please, just reform with Soundgarden! It will work!

  6. The News isn't and 2 stars all over the internet this morning. I'm still waiting to find that 0 star review....might have to write one of my own.