Percy is a Pussy

I rarely diss my idols.. I mean I'm proud to say I have legitimate ones.I don't watch American Idol like the rest of the lowest common denominator,you fools!..I'm an expert on this shit. My idols pave ways, y'all ..some are on everybody else's lists of go to rock idols..some are deep in the rock jungle but still held close to my steel cased heart...It hurts me to do this...especially since this man is the reason I picked up a microphone in the first place...emulating him with tight jeans and an imaginary dove in my hand in front of my panasonic tune box in 1982..Does anybody remember laughter? Robert Plant...I'm not laughing anymore. I went to Percy's official website today..and read his official statement which goes like this:

Robert Plant and Alison Krauss are currently touring the USA on the last leg of their 'Raising Sand' tour. They played a benefit concert in Oklahoma City for victims of Hurricane Ike last Friday; Austin,Texas last Saturday and tomorrow they play Portland, Oregon before finishing the tour in Saratoga, California on October 5th.

After those dates, Robert has no intention whatsoever of touring with anyone for at least the next two years. Contrary to a spate of recent reports, Robert Plant will not be touring or recording with Led Zeppelin. Anyone buying tickets online to any such event will be buying bogus tickets.

“It‘s both frustrating and ridiculous for this story to continue to
rear its head when all the musicians that surround the story are keen to get on with their individual projects and move forward,” Robert Plant said.

“I wish Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham nothing but success with any future projects,” he added.

Well, Fuck you too, Robert. I've had a devastating year. Let's just say..My family and I have been through absolute mind numbing lows....I was kind of hoping for a little glimmer of joy...a seed of orgasimus maximus growing in my future garden otherwise known as the worldly widely SPECULATED LED ZEPPELIN REUNION AND TOUR!

I know you've got enough money to buy everyone in Kashmir a Black Dog, I know you hate that nostalgia stuff....god forbid you go out and sing the songs that made you a legend in the first place. That must be so tough, Bob.What a stretch! Guess what..you could go out there all high and mighty and think your giving people what they don't want..sing Tea For One, South Bound Suarez, sing Tall Cool One for fuck's sake it wouldn't matter...if your up there between Pagey and Jonesy singing the best of the Wiggles I'm buying a ticket!....slow down all of the hits to Indian raga like crawls and harmonica in all of your vocal parts...I'm buying a ticket! Play 2 hours worth of electronic Kraftwerk like versions of Zep fan favorites over hip hop beats and invite the lead singer of Kingdom Come up on stage with you... I'm still thinking of buying a ticket!

Dude.. The Raising Sand album with Alison Krauss is fantastic..you'll probably win best album of the year at the Grammys next year...you've been touring for 9 months behind it already....But Jimmy's gonna get another singer....he can only do guest spots on award shows and talk about the December 2007 reunion for so long.! He can't take your incessant flip flopping and best wishes for much longer. Don't make me come out and audition!!

Give me something to believe in. If you say yes in 2 years...you'll be 61. I just don't see you singing the Ocean or Misty Mt. Hop with any cajones then. Lets rally and sign the papers and tell Jason to give Foreigner the pink slip... Nip this in the bud...back away from the peace pipe and the valhallan seclusion and do this...please. I love you. I hate you, Seano

Genius Among Geniuses in Spandex

Freddy Mercury drank heavily when he sang....look at all of the pints on the grand piano....in every live video...drinks on the piano.....I cannot tell you how difficult it is to drink while you sing...dehydration, forgetting lyrics, spitting on the crowd, throwing a bass drum into the audience, belittling the security,dodging panties....its tough out there....Thats why this video is so amazing......the man was a god...flawless, effortless, transcendent with such poise. He was literally on top of the kingdom of Rockdom. Makes me wanna go practice my scales until my nodes blow.

Morrison Plays Nostradamus

Who knew Jim was such a futurist? He's almost dead on in his 1970 vision of now. Makes me want to grow a beard, fake my own death and give one last interview predicting robots will revolutionize heavy metal right around 2020.....

Nominees Schnominees....

The nominees for the 2009 Rock and Roll Hall of fame are in and once again.I have two fingers caressing the very back of my tongue hoping to bring not just my swordfish dinner back up, but also everything I've learned about music...I'm disgusted...with the process nobody knows about..with the multi-platinum passing over the pioneers...and with the GENRES THAT SHOULD NOT BE INCLUDED.

This years group includes Metallica, The Stooges, Run DMC, Jeff Beck, Bobby Womack, Wanda Jackson, Little Anthony and the Imperials,Chic and War.

Deep breaths....collecting my shakras(I just dropped them)...throwing my ADIDAS in the garbage....Please tell me WHY RAP and DISCO ARTISTS are being considered for the ROCK and ROLL Hall of Fame?!!!?.....I am a somewhat patient man...just ask my friend GG and he'll tell you that I love all music and all people...and if you believe that I'll let you see my P Diddy tattoo that starts at my midriff and ends at my taint. First Grandmaster Flash, now Run DMC....RUN DMC...yeah, Its Tricky and Mary,Mary were absolute anthems...all the ROCK guys were lost in their bedrooms for hours learning My ADIDAS on their Gibsons....they along with Aerosmith(a great band makes a huge mistake)created RAP ROCK and western civilization continued its slow slide into purgatory right next to Violin rock(Kansas, Charlie Daniels) and Cop Rock(Bocchco mindfarts)...and Riverdance.

Tell me this...would you ever see Led Zeppelin or U2 or The Police any ROCK band for that matter in a future(BECAUSE YOU KNOW THERE WILL HAVE TO BE ONE) Hip Hop Hall of Fame.??..Absolutely Not. 99% of the dreaded hip hop nation fucking hates rock and roll....and those who say they dig it are lying. They conquered the demographic they were never looking for in the first place and have been laughing all the way to the bank since the late 90s and frankly...I've had enough....I've said it once and I'll say it again....hip hop will never be music to me. Its lazy blunt smoking people who talk about their faux troubles, rims and shorties rhythmically and call themselves poets and have never even heard of Dylan Thomas, Richard Brautigan, or even Robert fucking Frost. Now we open the door for Who? Salt N Pepa? Kid N Play?..Naughty By Nature? NWA? QUEEN FUCKING LATIFAH???? Does that numbskull Flava Flav need any more attention? Do we need to be dumbed down any more for christ's sake?!!! Pull up your pants and get the fuck off my stage.!

And then there's the problem with Metallica's first ballot induction....AHEM... There would be no Metallica without Iron Maiden...there would be no Iron Maiden without Judas Priest. Just because Metallica has a new album out and have sold more than their predecessors...you don't just open the door for them Janny Boy, you fruit.I understand their influence, I really do but make 'em sweat a little like Lars would at a drum clinic...cmon, now...THINK.

The Stooges were the first punk band of all time...rocketing out of Detroit in 1969 with Iggy Pop at the helm like a Meth-headed Morrison and never looking back....he's a legend among legends and should have been in a decade ago...BEFORE the Ramones...Before the fucking Talking Heads and before that roid head faux brit Madonna who's shat out songs Iggy and Co. performed last year.

Chic had two of the heaviest sampled,ultra cliched DISCO hits ever and they get in? 1-2 AWWWW Fuck Off!!! Didn't we fill a stadium of rock fans to watch a million disco albums get blown to smithereens into a vinyl cloud of goodbye back in the day? And now that glittered pompous dreck gets heralded? Why don't you just hand Gloria Gaynor and Donna Summer the keys to the fucking kingdom as well? If I ever see a pair of silver roller skates or a coke spoon on a chain again I'm gonna flog the nearest bridge and tunnel ex-54-er into submission.

Jeff Beck is one of the top five greatest living guitarists. Listen to Constipated Duck, Freeway Jam or Rock My Plimsoul and you tell me what the fuck he was doing. Genius.No pick needed. No singer either.

War, Bobby Womack, Wanda Jackson, Little Anthony.....before Bad Company,Alice Cooper, Rush, Yes, Cheap Trick, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and Stevie Ray Vaughan? I think not....somebody out there not writing for Rolling Stone or shucking for Ahmet knows better....way better.

And answer me this.....who is really worthy of their name on the hall wall after 1993 anyway? Shouldn't all these shenanigans end around 2018 anyhow? Spare us the hair metal, the new wave, and the rap rock or I'm going to wither away like dry leaves on a hot day. Like a candle in the wind...like dust in the wind beneath my wings.....

11:11 at Random

I'm not doing enough to help myself with my grief....my good days confuse me...I feel guilty for having them.....I'm not doing enough to protect my brother.my brother in law..
...my mother won't return my calls...everyone is reeling, coiling back into their shells....today I could have put some time into finding a therapist....I did not....I think back on some of the things people said to me after Meaghan's passing...."She's in a better place now"....No..she's in a different place, different than here...and nobody who is still here can tell me if "Heaven" is a better place...they've never BEEN THERE.
People say these things because they are absurdly religious...or they don't know what to say.....actually they should say nothing.....and just listen....let me talk it out....let me feel like Meaghan can hear me......

I don't have much else to say tonight. Grief wins over wit tonight....what tomorrow will bring..I just don't know.

The Never Ever List (cont.)

I've been on an emotional bender as of late...so before the bend breaks I better get back to the snarky sarcastic side of my psyche just to keep myself in check before I become a weepy mess.

Lets continue with my Never Ever List of songs that are the farthest thing from my top 40 favorites as humanly possible..... These five songs showcase some of my least favorite vocalists of all time.

16) The Cure- Friday I'm in Love: Robert Smith is a big fat crybaby with make-up on. Make-up that he applied in the dark while his tongue was in a wall socket. His whiny voice makes every hair on my body stand up like a cat that's about to be hosed down. Guys who are over 40 and putting make up on every day and whining about some girl they met at some GOTHCON somewhere make me want to get my paint sprayer out and completely white out their world. Guys who are just about 50 and put make-up on every day and are not in a Broadway production or a circus should be held under water until the bubbles stop.

17)Bjork- Its Oh So Quiet: I wish it was....I really do. Please tell me again what a genius Bjork is...how everything she does is a beautiful well executed risk...how her voice sounds like nobody else's...Now I could say the same thing about fucking Tiny Tim....and I could actually understand Tiny Tim. Every song Bjork blurts out sounds like a flock of birds on barbituates that crash into sliding glass doors and fall unconscious. Not one of her songs has a pattern, melody, chorus or hook that I care to have anything to do with. I hear Iceland is beautiful, not many people there because Bjork clears them all out every time she gets behind a mic.

18)Aimee Mann-One (from the soundtrack to Magnolia):Keep it down now,wayyy down, Aimee voices carry. This song will carry you over a cliff... Everything is dull about her. Dull songs, dull voice,dull deliery, dull soundtrack, dull movie . Three Dog Nights version wasn't broke....why did you have to get your dreary tool box out and try to fix it.

19)Hootie and the Blowfish- I Only Wanna Be With You: Darius Rucker...it gets no whiter than Darius Rucker...Izods and Acoustics...frat chords and golf carts and that faux Eddie Vedder drawl that 500 bands played off of in the early 90s. He wants to be white so bad that he now has a COUNTRY song climbing the hayseed charts.It would be cool if he could combine FORE! with YEEHAWW! As if 14 million simple baseball cap khaki wearin' people who bought Cracked Rear View wasn't enough...now he's going for the lowest of the lowest common denominator...country fans. Grand Ole Opry is next Darius, docksiders-off, boots on!

20)Linkin Park- In the End: I want the 20 million or so assholes who bought Linkin Parks albums to leave the bowling alley or mall for just one second and think about what you've done. OK, now go on back inside and get your Orange Julius and Abercrombie. Thank you for showing me what you look like so I'm prepared for the next time I read about a mall massacre. White Boy Rap plus White Boy whine and wince with added autotuned scream equals the end of civilization as we know it. I'd rather listen to Lawrence Welk on a loop while tied to a chair and kept awake for days with amphetamines and Mountain Dew.

OK, now back to your regularly scheduled brooding....

To Air is Human

I lose my shit at the drop of a dime lately. I have the patience of a female praying mantis who just tore her mates head off and ate it after fucking him.
I have very fragile emotions since my sister passed...I have no room..no privacy to let them burst wide open so I lash out.
I lash out at a two year old who I love more than life itself because he's disagreeing with everything I say...because after I reconfigured his crib into a "big boy bed" he just roams in and out of it at bed time pulling shit off of shelves and spreading mess into my trip wire anger vortex.
He deserves better than my lack of steady good daddy-ness. I just want to open the front door and run...leave him a PBJ and hit the road sometimes, knowing the difference between rational and reckless.
I worry and forget, retool and regret, rinse and repeat, singe and reheat, defeat and retreat, binge and re-eat, detract and deplete. destruct indiscreet..constrict incomplete. Conflict in concrete. new drum....old beat. old beat....new street. toot horn--mute bleat. slick grass, no cleat. set sail-no fleet.
I lose my mind every afternoon
not enough room for everything that needs to be there
the stress makes every blink hurt
makes every word leading up to a point fall off conversation cliffs
the abyss lasts until morning light
6am and there's those responsibilities smack you at attention
leech sucking you into sleeping upright through the days
dazed and drained
over fazed un pained
have no choice but to push on
suits called Dad and Husband
and productive man in society wait for my imperfect fit.
Lists I keep roll off like
water on wings
wading into things
waiting in wings he who sings
waiting to see what he brings
fading like a sting
tugging at a string
who is listening.
song is deafening
lessening
lessoning
christening the imaging.
right side pain in silent ring.
cradle breaks with withered slings
push your mood out on the swing.
for all the shit that it can fling
is endearing to the
all fearing.

The Truly Craptacular

Post Number two for this evening will have me continue on with the "miracle" of bad music. Here are five more glorious turds for anyone to try and polish.....Believe me, you can't.



12) Oasis- Champagne Supernova: Liam Gallagher gets the Please Knock My Crooked Teeth Out award. What a wad of shite this dude is. I'll never forgive him for kissing Beatle ass and then publicly dissing George Harrison. I love his stage presence, too. Sneering while he just stands there with his hands behind his back singing his brother Noel's stellar lyrics i.e. "slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball..where were you while we were getting high." I know right where I was while you were getting high: I was watching the You tube video of that fantastic human who pushed you twits right off the stage last week and putting on the White Album and high fiving myself.

13) Jay Z- 99 Problems: How the fuck do you get Jay Z from the name Shawn Carter, anyway? How come everybody puts this alleged wordsmith on a pedestal? He needs one to climb up on Beyonce every night, thats for sure. But seriously.."99 problems and a bitch ain't one"...How eloquent, you misogynistic sack of shit. The fact that you are lauded for anything except Most Brutal Looks from the neck up, escapes me.

14) Vampire Weekend-Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa: Hey man, prep school is so boring..lets start a band. My Dad will buy us all the equipment we need and after I learn three or four chords and throw some quirky, smarter than you lyrics over those hacky drum beats...I'll think about singing later on..its not really a big deal...I'll just squeal and shriek over everything and those kids with the skinny jeans on the dean's list who know how to dance and text at the same time will love it. Your Dad owns that record company, right?

15)Korn-Got the Life: Rap Rock Pioneers. Three words that should never be spoken together again.


I dare you to talk me out of doing the last 25.

Looking Down at Things That Are Looking Down

Depressing title to a post, huh. Yeah. I'm a little down...tomorrow my sister will have been away from earth for one month. I have so much to push through...so I can get to the next thing..so I can live to be a responsible parent and good husband. Some mornings I feel like the Life is Unfair network is the only channel that comes in. Then I wash that mood off in the shower and remind myself of the miracle Meaghan stopped to see every day. It could have been anything from a flower on a highway median that nobody picked, cause nobody saw.....or a spider letting a fly just fly by....or a rainbow holding up a storm by its shoulders....Meaghan would notice that.

That is what I will try to do. Nothing comes easy though, right? Nothing comes at all for those who don't even look for it. Miracles are happening while I complain, while people boil their blood in traffic, while telemarketers steal another hundred dollars from Grandma..while a third tier celeb dances with the stars...miracles are unfolding..quietly..triumphantly ready to present themselves to those blinded by faux despair like me. I have NOTHING to complain about. And yet I find the energy each day to allow that furrow to carve new depths into my brow...lose my patience and energy just looking for something...waiting for some shit to attach itself to the fan on my right. My parade...rained on before the band lines up on the side street. It just cannot be like that anymore.
Meaghan never complained. Damn, she was good. Still here..still teaching. Miss you Much, Megalina Dupalina.

Worse and Worser

Continuing with the 40 songs you would never see on any list but this one we have 5 more songs that are the equivalent of a sonic colonic. They leave you so polluted, you may need to cleanse yourself with some Beatles or Stones immediately after hearing them.

6) Jack Johnson- Upside Down: I'm guessing Jack was the guy in the frat out west in a beach town somewhere (where the kids all gathered round a campfire on the sand after a long day of pretending to know how to surf, but really just hitting the bong between long tanning sessions)who knew three chords and could play "No Woman No Cry" to a tee. He still only knows three chords, sings in a husky ganja whisper, and retreads the same tales of being good to earth and its good people to anyone who will listen. Apparently Dave Matthews fans have moved on to where the real good herb is in the dull smoked out grooves of a Hack Johnson CD.

7)Goo Goo Dolls- Name: First thing right off the bat- In the top worst Band names ever along with Three Doors Down and Anal Cunt(yes, thats real). Buffalo's own Goo Goos used to be a bad punk band but that Johnny Rzzzezznik had such a hunky hair over the eyes look that they had to switch to ballads to make their millions.An a million assholes bought it. This song Name is the worst of their sugar plum up your bum sap. "And I won't tell no-one your name." Your better off telling no-one that you like this song unless you want to destroy a perfectly good anything else.

8) Three Doors Down-Kryptonite: Another band you just can't allow to have any value, because they have a number in their name..4 Non Blondes, Seven Mary Three,Finger Eleven,Blink 182, Maroon 5....I'd like to do a little math and divide the total by the total and get nothin'......I cannot stand this band with their awful lyrics inspired by insipid nothingness and faux heartbreak and dudes...you just don't fuck with Superman. Superman wouldn't be worrying about if somebody loved him or not if kryptonite was making him crazy, he'd just save the world and move on.

9) Creed- Arms Wide Open: The only thing I could think of when I saw this video of Squatt Stapp standing on that mountain top, wind blowing his wanna-be Morrison mane back, is how easy it would be for a sniper to hit him while he stood there with his arms wide open.

10) Usher- Yeah: Usher got his name because his Mama gave birth to him laughing out loud and talking through a matinee showing of Car Wash,along with the help of an Usher who was here when her water broke all over her popcorn and Fanta. Maybe, Maybe not but this song which has a string of casio blips tied together with him screaming "Yeah" 372 times over a dead club beat should have made it easy to usher him right out of the music business. But he's still here.

Thats all for this evening...could it get any better? No it cannot. It will not.
But it sure is fun.

Looking up at the Bottom Music

Its time to return to the subject I know best...Rock.

Earlier this year I started a Top 40 at 40 list of my favorite forty songs in forty years of listening. It was great fun, very passionate and all that crap.

I would like to do a list of the 40 songs that would never make my list in one hundred lifetimes..if I was reincarnated as a cluster of dirt on a farmer's boot...if I had the choice to listen to them in a row or have bird shit soup for lunch..Soup's On!...or if I really and truly was a multi-partisan lover of all music.....which I am postively not, and proudly will never be.

I'll split it up...5 per day over the next 8 or so days. I really want to hear from you on this one. There is no worst to first or vice versa. These are all equally covered in a pungent stench of suckitude.

1) Lollipop- Li'l Wayne- I try so hard to give the youth of today a chance, but they are beyond gone. This is the worst song by yet another lazy narcissist of a rapper whom the media(who gets these fucking jobs?) that is basically about Wayne getting a blowjob by some highly intelligent young woman with a dual major in Psychology and Physics....rrriiiigghhtt, make that a piece of ass backstage. LI LI LI LI LI Lick it like a a lollipop. Stupid gimmick (Prince did it first and wayyyy better with "Head")by a self proclaimed genius who couldn't find his way out of a blunt haze if he tried.

2)Be Good Johnny- Men at Work. Men At Work were the first band I ever hated. And the worst thing to come out of Australia before INXS and Nicole(get a fucking tan)Kidman. I never understood the novelty of 5 kooks from down under having hit records with dreck like "Down Under" which taught us all about Vegimite Sandwiches and shit lyrics.From what I hear, shit tastes better. Be Good Johnny hurt more because of Colin Hay's phlegmy tenor repeating" Be-Good, Be-good, Be good Be good be good be good be good be good, Johnny". I wanted to punch him so hard it would set his wonky eye back straight.

3)My Heart Will Go On(Titantic Theme)-Celine Dion- Wanna know why people are dying on cruise ships so often since 1997? Mysterious stories of people gone missing,blood found on the promenade deck, angry newlyweds tossing each other overboard? Its because this piece of feces is probably piped in all over the big boat to set some sort of romantic mood...and instead you get murder and mayhem, poisoned water and food and superviruses on the high seas. One of the most horrible Canucks of all time(right behind Shania)....Celine Dion.

4) Smooth-Santana(Featuring Rob Thomas)- Rob Thomas has the most ridiculous fake affect on his voice in all of music history..worse than Madonna's fake brit put through a vocoder on autotune. This Hack from Matchbox Twenty(they actually changed it from "20" to "Twenty") sounds like he's bringing up pus from his throat just in time to attach it to the beginning and end of every line in this song and every song he sings. "Or else forget about it" sound like "Whaoarrr Hels Faw ghettt Hubawwtyittt!" Douche to the tenth power. And as for Santana...hey Devadip, get another solo. I've heard this one in every song you've ever done. Your spiritual hats aint foolin me. There aint no Black Magic hair under there.

5)Clocks- Coldplay- Chris Martin...Hey,Chris Martin!...newsflash!...You have never been and never will be Bono.Even if you get Brian Eno to produce Viva La Vida. Your falsetto makes birds drop right out of trees and cats scatter....you know five piano chords and play them over and over again until I want to put my head through drywall and make my own window to jump out of. And you wear too much goofy shit on your wrists and fingers. Your wife is as tight as a baby's bumhole with the personality of a cheesecake.....enough already. I know what time it is,and my Clock says its half past over and done with.

Well...that felt good. A quick five today...got my rant out of the way and will now sleep soundly. Hope to hear from you love, Seano

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

I treated myself to not wanting to watch or caring about the MTV Video Music Awards this year. I cannot tell you one damn thing about it...and I'm ecstatic for that. Most intelligent humans know that MTV stopped caring about music and videos a long long time ago. And we stopped caring too.On to the next big thing... Now we Twitter...which allows one person to let another know exactly what they are doing at all times via text or email or IM..".Right now I'm spraying Tinactin on my expanding toe fungus." "Right now, I'm cleaning cat puke off of the carpet." Right now, I'm de-coupling again." Can you believe grown ups are doing this?????!!!! "Right now, I'm not."

It really takes an immense amount of patience and open-ness to watch the VMAs. I have neither.I love myself for that. I probably missed another rapper walking around mumbling shit about problems in the club or on the streets while holding his pants up.

My heart (doesn't) go out to New England Patriot fans for losing( Mr. Father of the year, magazine ad whore, only as good as your offensive line)Tom Brady for the season. Tom, finally came down to earth and realized he was actually merely human by tearing up his knee in Kansas City yesterday. I truly don't wish hurt on anyone, but I can't stand Boston Sports teams. Now Tom can have more time to hold Gisele's bag at fashion events and cuddle on the couch with her watching Dancing With the Stars. What a prick.

I do, in fact have three things that I truly love about Boston. For one, The band Boston.The song Hitch a Ride was in my top 10. I also love the Cars..Ric Ocasek and Eliot Easton are geniuses...really ugly geniuses....Finally I love Steve's Ice Cream in Quincy Market. I have many memories going there as a child and watching them fold up my Reese's and Kit Kats into Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream.It took them 10 minutes but it was worth the wait...kinda like waiting for something bad to happen to the Pats..same emotional result... Our family vacationed frequently in Boston and all I have is great memories running around Quincy Market with Meaghan..she got her first Paddington Bear there, while I found a record shop that had those little metal buttons cool kids used to put on their rock jerseys and jean jackets. I got a Sex Pistols one and of course, a Led Zeppelin one with the Swan Song logo on it. The Picture is the 3 Barry Kids in Boston, circa 1983. Buttons included. If I still had that Police jersey it would fetch around 150 bucks on Ebay. Enjoy.

Comatose on the Couch

I can't feel my feelings....I can't get up to get anything. I am comatose on the couch. Hudson is enjoying grapes on the floor next to my feet. I am so grateful he can feed himself. Eventually I'll have to get up to do something like walk upright and choke down some water. Hudson just took said grapes and dumped all 517 of them on the carpet and is about to make wine. Now I have to get up. Is there a Pack and Play as big as my house that I can put him in...just for a little while...until I recover from 3 hours of sleep and last nights gig. I'll throw in the grapes and a sippy cup for his lunch while I recover
I smell one whopper of a diaper too..from the couch. WHOA...even the cat ran and hid.
Probably because he can't bury it with the litter that peppers my kitchen floor that I cannot enjoy walking on with bare feet anymore because of this.
I don't know how 60 year old men still rock.......after last night..I just don't know. I am what anybody but a lazy slob would call "out of fucking shape". I was using the mic stand as a crutch by the third set and was sure that I was hallucinating from exhaustion...or that annoying middle blue light focused on my shiny forehead...3 hours of sleep is a crime. A 2 year old plus 3 hours of sleep equals a breakdown of some sorts. Rock Yawn!

Absotively Unprepared

I'll be singing 36 songs tonight. I'll be scat singing my way through 30 of them. Just so you know scat singing has nothing to do with feces....but it just may sound like it.

Got dumped on by the perspiration off of Hannah's brow this afternoon and now I don't have to water the flowers which gives me 10 more minutes to try and remember the words to Like a Stone by Audioslave. My Dad said not to worry..Meaghan will whisper the missing lines to me..and by the 4th set nobody will care about the third verse in Sweet Home Alabama anyway. I've got my my cheat sheats in large print to tape to the monitors....memory is just plain shot.

You Don't want to know what bands I've been listening to today...lets just say if you turn on the radio you'll hear one.

The Hudmonster is shaking in his crib........gotta go. BTW We really are doing Sweet Home Alabama.....one small sidestep away from Freebird.

A Hard Night's Day

Today was just plain hard. I'm having a tough time of late settling back into a routine and being completely depleted of patience, and sometimes energy. I know there will be difficult times...times I just want to crush my fists against a wall and scream WHY!! Times I want to walk out the door and not come back until I can reach Meaghan somehow and plead for guidance, sanity.....hope.

She has been away from us for 3 weeks...My dear sister. Today I just broke down after seeing an elderly woman walking by herself on the street, hunched over with a light back of sundries from Rite Aid. My sister never got to be elderly....she never got to be middle aged....she just evaporated into our dreams and memories and is somewhere above us yearning for contact...watching and waiting. Screaming out and hoping we can hear her....just a whisper of confidence during a lull in one of our darkest days...she could just whisper and I would be all right. Just make a cloud cluster part and shine orange light through my window...give me a sign that your son and daughter will be OK without their Mommy. Put my mind at ease for just 5 minutes a day.

So much change is coming. I need to fight the sadness properly. She wants me not to dwell on it, I can feel that. Why can't I just cross over for just one hour to talk to her one last time....I know she heard me in the Hospice...I need to hear her now. Somehow....

The Good Old Days

I was listening to one of my old songs tonight and was actually quite proud of it. The song is called Well Enough Unknown(1999) and it was written about the absence of my mother at the time. Mom and I are closer than ever. She gave up her life in Florida to be with Meaghan these last few months..I will always be in awe of her for that.......Here is a link to the song, By the way, I don't step on cracks anymore08 Well Enough Unknown.mp3

Paul Rodgers is under appreciated. And I want some white pants.

Do You Remember....duh, duh, duh, duh,dee, dee in September

What the hell is Phillip Bailey(Earth Wind and Fire) saying in that song anyway? Lahh Dee Daaahh, Blah Blah in September! Guess it doesn't matter..from 1978 to now its still getting ass on the dancefloor. And I needed a "September" song in my title...and September Morn(Neil Diamond) was too deep cut AM radio, and September Gurls(Big Star) is an awesome song but too obscure for the demographic I'm shooting for.
I really like September. Its my second favorite month behind June. Football is here and I can hate the Pats and Cowboys again until that vein in my right temple ripples to the point of bursting. School's in session and young mothers drink the afternoons away even more now that Hunter and Heather are back to class and the buses and subways are stocked with prepubescent teens in brand new mall bought attire, smacking on gum and texting each other with not a yard between them..... All the new Television shows that won't survive the Fall season start in September. I'll stick to Heroes, Lost and Curb Your Enthusiasm, thank you. Thinking about TV less than 24 hours from posting about how proud I was to have not watched any in a full day's time.

Most people think fall starts after labor day but we've got 3 weeks left of summer in my book...thats enough time to get a farmer's tan, a grilling injury and a good number of nights falling asleep to the crickets...Crickets are my favorite summer sound by a longshot, followed by the eerily out of tune dirge of the Softee Truck song creeping up my street, and a lifeguard's whistle.
All Hail September!

Today I thought about my niece and nephew getting on that schoolbus as well.....Mommy will be there you two....even though she won't be at the end of the driveway with you...she'll be there.

I listened to the Sound Opinions podcast today with Hosts Jim DeRogatis and Greg Kot from Chicago...its one of my new favs....great takes on new albums, topical rockosphere stuff and great interviews..This week they cornered producer Tony Visconti! (David Bowie, T. Rex) one of my all time under- rated producers.

I went into a large dark crawlspace to look for a cat today. The owner of the house where I was working just moved in two days ago and already lost her cat. Blessing? Curse? Either way, I offered to take a look. This space had to be 30 yards long and three feet high....no cat anywhere....but I did feel like I was on one of those ghosthunter shows with my little flashlight biting my lower lip. I believe in ghosts, sprits, the afterlife..the whole nine yards. I think its unrealistic to think that when our physical time ends on this mortal coil...Thats it. Our souls are too important to too many people to be confined to mere "years" here. The totured souls search for peace and understanding and the soothed souls watch and assist when needed.......I know who's watching me. I wouldn't want anyone else doing it.

Bands I listened to recently(last 24 hrs) include Sebastian Bach(his not so new Angel Down CD),the guy can still sing, thats for sure and he's got a few years on me......and David Byrne/Brian Eno- Everything That Happens Will Happen Today.......its very listenable while making fish and beans for a wily 2 year old named Hud.

Where to Start......

I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about Meaghan yet...haven't had time to properly prep myself for grieving. Got a book from my mother in law called Surviving the Death of a Sibling, called around half- ass looking for a support group and realized what the fuck! Meaghan never did anything half ass.Shame on me...Try harder..Get Some, Go again. Got to get back to the life of therapy for so many reasons...All of them good. I'm going to make more calls tomorrow, sis.

Today I put my son's flip flops on backwards....neither of us noticed until my Friend Andi made note of it. The tolerance of a two year old....what a wondrous thing...sometimes blessing, sometimes curse. There are times I have to chase him around the house to get his shoes on....and there are times like today. Thats why socks are so cool, you can't really fuck them up.

I did not watch one minute of television today. Pamela is away so none of that watching wacky Nancy Grace chasing down Kaycee or Kaylee's Mom(whatever) Degenerate moms are thriving. We get it. There are 10000 more of these stories all over the world not getting one line of print. I am glad I did not watch one minute of television today.
"
Football season starts in 6 days...I told Pamela I was yearning to be "couch guy" again. She said "What do you mean, AGAIN?"
I cannot believe it is September.

I am happy to report that the only labor I did on labor day was bringing the groceries in....I consider that escaping unscathed.

Bands I listened to today include Howlin' Rain and The Kinks.

See you tomorrow.