Tuesday, January 13, 2009

No Fun, Baby..No Fun

I'm no fun anymore. I spent most of last Friday in a Brooklyn hospital in the ER with a headache turned up to 11. That means, if you move..if you take one step you'll feel you'll lose consciousness. The pain is equivalent to having grey matter,clump by clump pulled out of your ear for seven hours straight, no chaser while your eyes bleed and your teeth melt. I've gone to the ER twice before with headaches this bad...and there's nothing remotely rock and roll about it.

There was an old man next to me complaining of back problems. He had more brain cells than teeth and they would come to see him every three hours after they promised him meds. I heard a few grunts and then the acrid stench of a canine- challenged octogenarian pissing himself overcame me.The guy never said WORD ONE. Did you know even after two hearty percocets, one's sense of smell is still top notch throught the fog. I came close to ripping out the IV and bolting. But if I moved, I'd lose consciousness, see.
One's vision remains top notch as well while bludgeoned with narcotics, Yes, there's two or three of everything...but that really doesn't rule in your favor when the severely retarded latino man to your right adorned with 6 wristwatches, gets up to use the bath room and you see that he already HAS. And its dripping in a beige-ish soup down the side of his gurney..while his mother prays in Spanish gibberish..NURSE! More Percocet!

My Cat scan came back negative(again) and I was released with no relief but a scrip for three days worth of percocet. Party on, Garth. I need to get to the bottom of this.....While I was laying there in a pile of pain and a maze of dirty gurneys...I was thinking of headache songs...songs with the word head in them, etc.

I came up with these:

1) Headknocker-Foreigner
2) Head Games-Foreigner
3) Head-Prince
4) Heading Out To The Highway- Judas Priest
5) Tension Head-QOTSA
6) I Think I Lost My Headache-QOTSA
7) Teenage Head-Flamin' Groovies
8) Over My Head- Fleetwood Mac
9) Head Like a Hole- NIN
10) Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head - BJ Thomas
11) Motorhead-Motorhead
12) Head Over Heels-Tears For Fears
13) Crazy Baldhead-Bob Marley
14) Bang Your Head-Quiet Riot
15) Bullet in Your Head- RATM
16) Horse Head-Black Crowes
17) Can't Get It Out Of My Head- ELO
18) Machine Head(Deep Purple album, not the Bush song)
19) Check Your Head-Beastie Boys
20) Mind Riot- Soundgarden
21) Head For Backstage Pass- Jeff Beck
22) Teenage Lobotomy-Ramones

I would love it if you reminded me of any I might have forgotten....and try if you can to stay out of those emergency rooms.


  1. Anonymous5:03 PM

    You missed the most obvious one. Headache by Frank Black.

  2. Anonymous8:00 PM

    Head On -The Jesus and Mary Chain
    Headmaster's Ritual-The Smiths