The year starts throbbing and relentless
It is a migraine and residue from satisfied stress.
can't decide which I like less.
My son asked me to go rollerskating with Mommy and him this morning
I had to tell him daddy's head hurts too much.
Yesterday he kissed it and said "There, now you are all better."
such a beautiful thing...the kindness of a child.
Why can't that be enough.
When will I be rid of this monster that raids my thoughts and bear hugs my temples
like a walnut in a vice.
Turn it around one more time until my multiple stabbed memories spill out
and my anger and shame bleed onto the couch.
The neurons are cunning blades bursting behind eyes
that water and droop and forget to see...
This is my introduction to the new year
meet the old boss...same as the old boss......but soon...
I will meet you in an alley, behind the wall, from within the hole
scuffle in the ditch
in a flurry of heat and science and health
we will finish this once and for all and I drink from the challis of clear thought, sprint through the fog
regain my place on the wheel
fierce this cog.
Those of you who aren't privy to this maddening pain
too blessed to be stressed.
Horse healthy, unburdened and sturdy.
I plan on crossing over to your island. taking your course
hand always up in class
I hope to reclaim the lost hours and stay the horizon line.
but for now, I just want to pass through this flaming door
and dive into the soothing depth of sleep.